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Posted by jonas on Aug-01-2006 21:49:

Funny motivational

I was in Wal-Mart buying a large bag of Purina for my Labrador Retriever and was in line to check out.

A woman behind me asked if I had a dog.

On impulse, I told her that no, I was starting The Purina Diet again,
although I probably shouldn't because I'd ended up in the hospital last time --- but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.

I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is to load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry & that the food is nutritionally complete so I was going to try it again.

I have to mention here that practically everyone in the line was by now enthralled with my story, particularly a tall guy behind her.

Horrified, she asked if I'd been poisoned and was that why I was in the hospital.

I told her no; I'd been sitting in the street licking my balls and a car hit me.

I thought the tall guy was going to have to be carried out the door.

Laughing helps relieve tension; and hopefully, lengthens your life. Here is to a long and happy life. Enjoy.

Posted by winston on Aug-01-2006 22:04:

Freakin Brilliant!

I could picture this happening, lmfao

Posted by D Dubya on Aug-01-2006 22:30:

Re: Funny motivational

quote:
Originally posted by djjonas
I was in Wal-Mart buying a large bag of Purina for my Labrador Retriever and was in line to check out.

A woman behind me asked if I had a dog.

On impulse, I told her that no, I was starting The Purina Diet again,
although I probably shouldn't because I'd ended up in the hospital last time --- but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.

I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is to load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry & that the food is nutritionally complete so I was going to try it again.

I have to mention here that practically everyone in the line was by now enthralled with my story, particularly a tall guy behind her.

Horrified, she asked if I'd been poisoned and was that why I was in the hospital.

I told her no; I'd been sitting in the street licking my balls and a car hit me.

I thought the tall guy was going to have to be carried out the door.

Laughing helps relieve tension; and hopefully, lengthens your life. Here is to a long and happy life. Enjoy.

jonas, if you really did this, that is my hero story for the month of august.

Posted by davemolina on Aug-01-2006 22:32:

Jonas,

You are the man!!! I'll forget you ever had a jotz avatar.

Posted by Zeonfiend on Aug-02-2006 01:40:

quote:
Originally posted by davemolina
Jonas,

You are the man!!! I'll forget you ever had a jotz avatar.

He tells people he was licking his own balls and you forget he had a jotz avatar??

Posted by D Dubya on Aug-02-2006 01:43:

quote:
Originally posted by Zeonfiend
He tells people he was licking his own balls and you forget he had a jotz avatar??

yes. whenever you call a complete stranger out like that for asking stupid things you get a gold star. i don't care if you have to take one in the process