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i need to get evicted....but how
k peoples, here's the SITCH.
i can no longer afford to live my apartment b/c i am now a full-time student, can only work part-time and i'd like to rent a room rather than a whole apartment. i'd like to sublease, yet i still have a YEAR on my lease, and i can't afford to lose any money in deducting the price, and i'm not sure if i can find a subleaser all about paying the full price. i could just stop paying rent and get evicted, but i would probably be responsible for the years rent. my downstairs neighbors (which one of them conveniently works for the landlord office) started out cool, yet they have done a few things to really piss me off lately. i'm thinking of having TRANCE PARTY 2006 everynight on my decks until the early morning as I can watch out the window whilST i'm spinning and be able to turn the tunes down before the cops get too close. yet, i don't want to resort to this just yet.
i'm sure some of YALL have been in this situation before, so got any advice?
Only thing I can think of is to enter the Witness Protection Program. Government will take care of everything else.
Uhh, if you start making noise infractions, you may get charged with disturbing the peace.
Are you in a building? If so, I have some ideas.
| quote: |
| Originally posted by Theresa Uhh, if you start making noise infractions, you may get charged with disturbing the peace. Are you in a building? If so, I have some ideas. |
Spend a night running around your apartment complex dressed as Commander Keen.
Drunk.
| quote: |
| Originally posted by Yan Spend a night running around your apartment complex dressed as Commander Keen. Drunk. |
when you need to go #1, just go on the floor.
when it starts dripping down into the apts underneath you, the landlord will visit you and evict you cause the house wreaks of piss, and it's seeping into the other apts.
I can take a check if needed
Have some new friends move in. Like alot of farm animals.
put shaving cream all over your mouth, run around naked and shit everywhere screaming.
You really don't want to do something that will cause damage, that you could get into trouble for later.
Try doing jumping jacks, or skip rope in your apartment in the wee hours of the morning... and do it a lot.
Hopefully the constant banging downstairs will piss the guy off and he'll complain. Continue doing it.
Try hammering away at the walls to hang up pictures and stuff at 3AM. Run around naked.
When people come to the door, open it nude.
Knock on someones door and ask for sugar at 5AM in the morning.
Just make sure that you are bugging people, but don't do it in a destructive way. Then you can't get charged for destroying anything, and you can't get into too much trouble for blatantly disturbing the peace.
Oh, and when you're coming home, make lots of noise... and often. Invite people over and tell them to be loud too.
Re: i need to get evicted....but how
| quote: |
| Originally posted by DJ Lucas k peoples, here's the SITCH. i can no longer afford to live my apartment b/c i am now a full-time student, can only work part-time and i'd like to rent a room rather than a whole apartment. i'd like to sublease, yet i still have a YEAR on my lease, and i can't afford to lose any money in deducting the price, and i'm not sure if i can find a subleaser all about paying the full price. i could just stop paying rent and get evicted, but i would probably be responsible for the years rent. my downstairs neighbors (which one of them conveniently works for the landlord office) started out cool, yet they have done a few things to really piss me off lately. i'm thinking of having TRANCE PARTY 2006 everynight on my decks until the early morning as I can watch out the window whilST i'm spinning and be able to turn the tunes down before the cops get too close. yet, i don't want to resort to this just yet. i'm sure some of YALL have been in this situation before, so got any advice? |
| quote: |
| Originally posted by Theresa You really don't want to do something that will cause damage, that you could get into trouble for later. Try doing jumping jacks, or skip rope in your apartment in the wee hours of the morning... and do it a lot. Hopefully the constant banging downstairs will piss the guy off and he'll complain. Continue doing it. Try hammering away at the walls to hang up pictures and stuff at 3AM. Run around naked. When people come to the door, open it nude. Knock on someones door and ask for sugar at 5AM in the morning. Just make sure that you are bugging people, but don't do it in a destructive way. Then you can't get charged for destroying anything, and you can't get into too much trouble for blatantly disturbing the peace. Oh, and when you're coming home, make lots of noise... and often. Invite people over and tell them to be loud too. |
watch pr0n very outloud, wet, and naked. Host animal prostution in your place and charge 2x entrance fees
Keep parking where you're not supposed to
Invite friends & have them take the landlord's space(s)
Put giant neon signs in the front window, around a carboard cutout of a scantily-clad woman.
Install a penis-shaped knocker on your front door.
Leave the house in costume every day.
Whenever you get up, jump out of bed. Literally...jump.
Forget that you have toes. Only walk on your heels.
Periodically, leave unusual notes on your front door for youself from various past lovers, male and female.
Constantly find excuses to need repairs done. Find everything wrong with the place.
Leave your place exceptionally hot or unreasonably cold at all times.
At night, point a strobe light out the window, onto the ground, reflecting back into the landlord's place. Music not required, inappropriate shadow puppets optional.
tijuana donkey show
I've helped organize 3 eviction parties since this April. You definitely gotta have one if you manage to get evicted.
| quote: |
| Originally posted by Nou pay your rent in cash, but having wiped your ass with the money first. |
Tell them you cant pay them because u need lots of money for your sex change operation and expect clients comming by every nite and day
find a rule that is so stupid and break it all the time. thats what seems to work for people i know. btw noise complaints arent that bad. really if you dont use the previous apartment as reference then it doesnt matter anyways. just have parties all the time. that will do it for sure. parties are the one thing that isnt tolerated by EVERY apartment complex. or get some weed air fresheners...or anything that smells like some sort of drug. so that they think that you are doing drugs.
when i got evicted from my apt on purpose it was pretty easy. i started getting drunk alot and pissing off my balcony. i stole two cases of the shitty toilet paper from the univeristy residence building and chucked the rolls off my 11th floor balcony (man did those things go lol)
the other one that works alot is cook some horrendously stinky food, like not that smells bad but willd rive your neighboors cooky, like loads and loads of curry, or boiled cabbage....
smoking alot of pot in your house will do it too. or get a really loud dog
or you could explain the situation to your landlord and see if they will cut your lease short
Sub-lease to webcam pr0n actresses to do their thing...
watching the show is mandatory! 
id say host the trance party for a week non-stop, get ur mates to bring other mates, invite lots and lots of clubgirls and just mash it right up
if ur gunna get evicted u might as well have a fucking good time before u do so
burn it down, blame it on an electrical fire. And when they ask why you have no pants on, tell them you took em off to run faster.
why would you sign on to a lease that long? that's ridiculous.
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