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-- Theory: 66% of people in relationships are actually single

Theory: 66% of people in relationships are actually single

1/3 are in relationships of convenience (i.e. not to be bored,lonely etc.)

1/3 are in relationships that have ended mentally but that fact hasn't made it to reality yet. In my experience it takes most people months/years to breakup

1/3 are legitimate relationships.

Agree/Disagree with tha math?

Re: Theory: 66% of people in relationships are actually single

quote:

Originally posted by Subey 1/3 are in relationships of convenience (i.e. not to be bored,lonely etc.) 1/3 are in relationships that have ended mentally but that fact hasn't made it to reality yet. In my experience it takes most people months/years to breakup 1/3 are legitimate relationships. Agree/Disagree with tha math?

actually I'd say around 80-85% instead of 2 thirds...

Life and the whole world itself have evolved and changed so much there isn't such a thing as "love" anymore... or at least that's the impression I've been getting for the last couple of years. People are far too worried on other things they can not be bothered about that aspect of their lifes.

So...what, only about 15% of people are in relationships they should be in?

Re: Re: Theory: 66% of people in relationships are actually single

quote:

Originally posted by luisjb82 actually I'd say around 80-85% instead of 2 thirds... Life and the whole world itself have evolved and changed so much there isn't such a thing as "love" anymore... or at least that's the impression I've been getting for the last couple of years. People are far too worried on other things they can not be bothered about that aspect of their lifes.

I dunno sometimes when I read girls talking about their boyfriends they always portray it like they are in the deepest love imaginable. I get the impression that its a kind of competition between girls to see who can demonstrate that they are the most in love.

My problem with this is that it leaves them no room to manoever. If the last guy was the best ever then how can the next guy?

I think guys are much more honest about love (at least publically). When we find it, we find it, and there's no turning back.

I disagree. By definition, if you're in a 'relationship' then you cannot be 'single'.

how do you define a legitimate relationship? i think people get into different types of relationships because everyone has different needs.

I prefer to look at it from a point of view of exchange theory, in which case all people in relationships remain so because the benefits outweigh the costs.

Re: Re: Re: Theory: 66% of people in relationships are actually single

quote:

Originally posted by Subey I dunno sometimes when I read girls talking about their boyfriends they always portray it like they are in the deepest love imaginable. I get the impression that its a kind of competition between girls to see who can demonstrate that they are the most in love. My problem with this is that it leaves them no room to manoever. If the last guy was the best ever then how can the next guy? I think guys are much more honest about love (at least publically). When we find it, we find it, and there's no turning back.

I agree...

quote:

Originally posted by Subey I dunno sometimes when I read girls talking about their boyfriends they always portray it like they are in the deepest love imaginable. I get the impression that its a kind of competition between girls to see who can demonstrate that they are the most in love. My problem with this is that it leaves them no room to manoever. If the last guy was the best ever then how can the next guy? I think guys are much more honest about love (at least publically). When we find it, we find it, and there's no turning back.

I guess it's easier for females to be infatuated compared to men as their operative modes tend to rely on inner emotions and subtle feelings parsed in every day things.

quote:

Originally posted by butterfly how do you define a legitimate relationship? i think people get into different types of relationships because everyone has different needs.

yes totally.

I also believe the title to this thread needs to be changed.

When you're in a relationship you are not 'single' anymore. Simple as that.

quote:

Originally posted by butterfly how do you define a legitimate relationship? i think people get into different types of relationships because everyone has different needs.

I guess i'm looking at it from a love perspective in the sense that we are seeking love and any relationship where the intent isn't love is somehow false.

Philosophically I operate under the belief that Love is the destination. Therefore if the current waypoint does not include love then I can not stop there, because I would be 'cheating' on the future.

quote:

Originally posted by jdat yes totally. I also believe the title to this thread needs to be changed. When you're in a relationship you are not 'single' anymore. Simple as that.

I'm using the word 'single' to represent a state in which they are available to enter a new relationship. What term would you use to describe someone who is taken but 'waiting for something better to come along'?

quote:

Originally posted by Subey I'm using the word 'single' to represent a state in which they are available to enter a new relationship. What term would you use to describe someone who is taken but 'waiting for something better to come along'?

Unfaithful?

quote:

Originally posted by Subey I'm using the word 'single' to represent a state in which they are available to enter a new relationship. What term would you use to describe someone who is taken but 'waiting for something better to come along'?

Someone 'waiting for something better to come along'.




I guess relationships are weird.
There is one concept I can't fully grasp as to why people do it yet I have been guilty of doing so myself before:
Staying with someone knowing full and well they are not the 'one'.

Coming to that stage in a relationship usually takes time.
Everyone goes through the honeymoon period where we are still feeling the other person out, and eventually things become stagnant ( can't help it ... that's just the way things work ) and only then can we know that for a fact yes or no this person is truly for me ..... but when we do ... why are we so intent on pursueing it without forming a lasting bond or voicing a true commitment, or the latter, breaking off the relationship and going to see if there's a better catch elsewhere?

What pushes human nature to behave this way?
Are we accepting our fate in it's present form while secretly hoping that things will take a turn and point our ship in the right direction?

quote:

Originally posted by Orbax So...what, only about 15% of people are in relationships they should be in?

From what I've gathered in my own experience and meeting lots of people, I'd say those are pretty much the numbers.

I might be going over board, but it is not a lie most people in relationships are only keeping that status because they do not want to be alone, or simply because they look at it as a business kind of thing. They lay out the pros and cons and decide to be together because it will be better for their professional lifes, leaving aside all emotions and why not, "love".

quote:

Originally posted by jdat I guess relationships are weird. There is one concept I can't fully grasp as to why people do it yet I have been guilty of doing so myself before: Staying with someone knowing full and well they are not the 'one'.

From my own experience there are definitely two states. Before meeting the one and after.

Before the concept of love was never really concrete to me. I assumed it was a biological trick designed to get you to procreate. You find yourself in a relationship because well your supposed to be in relationships. That's what normal people do.

I remember concluding in part based on Pamela Anderson's life, that love just pointed you towards whoever your equivalent match was (based on her dumping Tommy when his star fell for Kid Rock when his rose).

***

BUT after I experienced love everything changed. There's some love poem about a compass that makes sense to me in that now I had my bearings. Like this other person had always been magnetic north, and in meeting her I was transmuted from wood to iron, and was immersed in her field of being.

You can't go back to the old perspective after that

i agree to disagree

quote:

Originally posted by jdat There is one concept I can't fully grasp as to why people do it yet I have been guilty of doing so myself before: Staying with someone knowing full and well they are not the 'one'.

the whole concept of "the one" is a crock. unless you go through life without having interacted with any other soul except for one, i disagree with the literary, historical, romantic and social notion of "the perfect partner". Believing in that concept only limits people from enjoying whatever relationships they may find themselves in because in the back of their mind there will always be a potential that somebody else, not the person that they're with, is "the one". It's particularly convenient when the relationship is strained or one party does not invest as much as the other into making it work.

Unfortunately nature does not play fair. Some people will go through life with many partners, but others will be lucky if they only ever do find one. So I guess for the latter the notion is more applicable.

quote:

Originally posted by luisjb82 I might be going over board, but it is not a lie most people in relationships are only keeping that status because they do not want to be alone, or simply because they look at it as a business kind of thing. They lay out the pros and cons and decide to be together because it will be better for their professional lifes, leaving aside all emotions and why not, "love".

Totally agree. For the average Sydney-sider it's definitely easier buying a house with two incomes instead of one these days.

quote:

Originally posted by Akridrot Unfaithful?

Rihanna?

Re: Theory: 66% of people in relationships are actually single

quote:

Originally posted by Subey 1/3 are in relationships that have ended mentally but that fact hasn't made it to reality yet. In my experience it takes most people months/years to breakup

hey i know that one. a little too well
and its kinda made it to reality, its just hard because i care about her, and dumping her is gonna mean her completely breaking down
bleh

quote:

Originally posted by eRRaTiK the whole concept of "the one" is a crock.

Perhaps that explains the behavior of some other people always searching for one even doing it subconsciously, till break-up or death do us part.

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