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Posted by Aesthetic on Oct-02-2006 23:47:

My BIO

Hey guys, here's my bio.. please comment and post your own if you have any.

Dave Begic's BIO - written on behalf by his Russian manager - Vladimir Jerkov


Ever since the young man begic rattled away for hours on his pots and pans, he knew he was destined to make a living from making music.

Even though he was offered large sums of money, and an island to call his own, to never touch a musical instrument or synth ever again, this stubborn **** decided to continue with his one love.

It wasn't until Dave heard the influencial sounds of DJ bobo before his music really took a turn for the best. From the hypnotic vocal hooks of "love is all around", to the enchanting but uplifting melodies of "freedom" Dave really had a passion for tripe.

Incorporating all these themes,daves music has been described as a cross between the sound of a fork being scraped across a plate, and a short fat bald man having a shit and a pregnant llama giving birth.

After rave reviews (mostly from clowns and the deaf) Dave went from strength to strength. With gigs playing out to packed classrooms and empty toilets, dave is surely getting a reputation as one of the top live performers.

So what does the future hold for this talented young entertainer? Things are surely looking up, with one magazine saying "Begic's music is like being repeatedly smacked around the mouth by a 70 year old's penis".
Fueling Daves already gargantuan ego, Begic has vowed to continue with his unique brand of low tempo mongolian smegma trance. Watch out for this performer.


Posted by RickyM on Oct-02-2006 23:51:

LMAO excellent Dave, you fat fuck!


Posted by Aesthetic on Oct-02-2006 23:55:

Thanks douche, I just noticed your amazing bio from myspace..


This bio is written by Ricky's agent, Ramitin Balldeep. Since Ricky first started making music, he was told he had a skill that would literally be a sin to use. With remarks from family members such as "Turn that shit off" and "What the fuck is that racket?", Ricky knew that he had found a passtime that would both please him, and piss off his parents.

So Ricky decided on a genre that would annoy the fuck out of them the most - DANCE.

Things started slowly, with his early songs sounding like they were composed in a kettle. As he started to improve, it became quite clear to Ricky that most people could fart better songs than he was producing.

Despite a petition with over 5000 signatures, Ricky, being a stubborn ****, decided to continue with the production of this aural nonsense, much to the pain of any unfortunate listener.

So, what style does RickyM produce? Well, think Aqua, make it 10 times worse, put it in a blender, add in a dash of goat spunk, and sprinkle with a few drops of ball sweat. There you have it, RickyM's style of dance music.

So what next for this piss stain on the underwear of the dance scene? Well imagine packed out clubs, scores of screaming girls and universal recognition of his musical achievements. Then think of the exact opposite.

I'll leave you with this small anecdote: "When you think trance, think RickyM. When you think house, think RickyM. Fuck, when you think of the sweat gathering at the back of your ballbag, think RickyM".


Thanks for reading, and don't buy this ****'s music.


Posted by pkcRAISTLIN on Oct-03-2006 00:02:

ramitin balldeep


Posted by tathi on Oct-03-2006 01:15:

haha good stuff

i started writing my own Bio a couple of months ago but put it on the backburner, if i summon up some motivation i might finish it one day (or get my own manager)


Posted by pkcRAISTLIN on Oct-03-2006 01:19:

tathi's bio:

born to a whore. was gay. sucked dick. got aids. died.


Posted by tathi on Oct-03-2006 01:20:

you must be the russian manager that gave me aids fag


Posted by Philby on Oct-03-2006 04:49:

LOLOloloz0r


Posted by batemanscott on Oct-04-2006 09:43:

Begic that is pure gold farken lol!!!

What else is in the pipeline for u mate?


Posted by DJ_Ballistic on Oct-04-2006 09:47:

quote:
Originally posted by batemanscott
What else is in the pipeline for u mate?


Pkc!

OOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHH BA DOOM TISH

im here till thursday

try the veal


Posted by batemanscott on Oct-04-2006 09:49:

quote:
Originally posted by DJ_Ballistic
try the veal



the veal has been good lately!


Posted by RickyM on Oct-04-2006 09:54:

"The Veal is good?"

"It's Vealy good"

Sorry


Posted by DJ_Ballistic on Oct-04-2006 09:56:

go back to russia


Posted by RickyM on Oct-04-2006 10:16:

quote:
Originally posted by DJ_Ballistic
go back to russia


*Barcelona.


Posted by Deeman on Oct-04-2006 10:25:

LOL, that bio was hilarious!


Posted by Philby on Oct-04-2006 10:53:

NORTH & SOUTH!?!?!????


Posted by Aesthetic on Oct-04-2006 10:54:

Hassle that **** for me philb .

Plenty of things in the pipeline scotty, connects all the way from my mouth down to werribee sewrage farm


Posted by RickyM on Oct-04-2006 11:06:

quote:
Originally posted by Aesthetic
Hassle that **** for me philb .

Plenty of things in the pipeline scotty, connects all the way from my mouth down to werribee sewrage farm


I'll hassle your face into a wall you Aussie ****

I'll get you the zip pack tonight chum, get this wrapped up. You're so disorganised, and you didn't label and colour code all the mixer channels, that's why this project has taken so long.


Posted by pkcRAISTLIN on Oct-04-2006 11:07:

quote:
Originally posted by Philby
NORTH & SOUTH!?!?!????


yeah, i love that one.

quote:
Originally posted by RickyM
I'll hassle your face into a wall you Aussie ****

I'll get you the zip pack tonight chum, get this wrapped up. You're so disorganised, and you didn't label and colour code all the mixer channels, that's why this project has taken so long.
]

well hurry the fuck up ricky martin!


Posted by Aesthetic on Oct-04-2006 11:11:

blow it right out your ass then lick it up with a fresh serving of haggis you pommy ****.

quote:
Originally posted by RickyM
I'll hassle your face into a wall you Aussie ****

I'll get you the zip pack tonight chum, get this wrapped up. You're so disorganised, and you didn't label and colour code all the mixer channels, that's why this project has taken so long.


Posted by pkcRAISTLIN on Oct-04-2006 11:15:

quote:
Originally posted by RickyM
and you didn't label and colour code all the mixer channels


there are only so many shades of pink for him to use tho...


Posted by RickyM on Oct-04-2006 11:40:

quote:
Originally posted by pkcRAISTLIN
there are only so many shades of pink for him to use tho...




@ Dave Beg-Itch

Why don't you piss off down to summer bay for a pint of fosters and then go surfing afterwards you Aussie son of a bitch

And you know I would never eat haggis, dirty scottish shite it is.


Posted by DJ_Ballistic on Oct-04-2006 11:49:

quote:
Originally posted by RickyM


@ Dave Beg-Itch

Why don't you piss off down to summer bay for a pint of fosters and then go surfing afterwards you Aussie son of a bitch

And you know I would never eat haggis, dirty scottish shite it is.


haggis is to be shelved only, none of this pussy oral crap


Posted by Xavier on Oct-04-2006 11:53:

pity I never got to work with you Begic, we could of been Morrissey & Marr.


Posted by Philby on Oct-04-2006 12:16:

quote:
Originally posted by Xavier
pity I never got to work with you Begic, we could of been Morrissey & Marr.


there is still time! who knows, the world just might need a heavy metal rendition of 'as the rush comes' soon!


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