TranceAddict Forums (www.tranceaddict.com/forums)
- Humour / Funny Stuff / Cool Web Sites
-- Israel v. Palestinians
Israel v. Palestinians
I posted a part of this in the chill out thread, and I got a few PMs telling me it is very funny, so I extended it a bit, and post it here. Hope you all enjoy.. It's my work :-)
Just look at the recent Zinni mission.
We are talking about the two sides, just meeting with each other and talking. Lets take a look at their recent discussions via Zinni to find out what each side is doing in preparations to meet and talk with one another:
Israel: Ok, we give up on that 7 days of quiet thing. We understand it is to much to ask for you to just give is simple week of peace... I mean for god's sake Hanukah isn't that long, but yes we understand that you are bloodthirsty and would like to kill us, were still willing to talk to you and try and find some solutions. Will you talk with us now?
Palestinians: No, of course we will kill you while we talk, but get out of Ramallah first before we can talk.
Israel: Ok, we got out of Ramallah, will you talk with us now?
Palestinians: No, you didn't move far enough.. get your tanks umm away farther.
Israel: Ok, we moved out tanks 'umm away farther', Will you talk with us now?
Palestinians: No, now you have to move out of all the Occupied Territories, even though we understand we both have legitimate claims to these territories (they're trying to look diplomatic).
Israel: No! Are you crazy?? You want us to move out and you won't even promise us quiet?
Palestinians: Hmm I see your point, Ok move your tanks out of Bethlehem then.
Israel: Will you stop snipers shooting at Gilo if we do?
Palestinians: No.
Israel: I don't think we want to do it then.. Can't we just talk?
Palestinians: No, move your tanks out of Bethlehem.
Israel: I see what your trying to do! Your trying to get us to leave all of the territories one city at a time.
Palestinians: Ummm no, no were not.. honest.. honest to Allah.
Israel: Really?
Palestinians: No.
(days pass)
Zinni: Ok look Palestinians, Cheney is coming for a visit tomorrow I want a ceasefire immediately!
Palestinians: Are you crazy? We want Israel tommorow! What's your point?
Zinni: The USA will blame you for the failure of these talks if you don't do a ceasefire, and umm it will add Arafat's orginization to that terrorist list thing we have, and umm the Axis of Evil too.... Come on its just a couple of days.. please, pretty please?
Israel: Ya hahaha so there.
Palestinains: Ok, but only for a couple of days... and we don't talk.. just our umm 'security officials'.. ok just they meet? But only if you add us to the Axis of Evil too.. that sounds cool.
Zinni: Ok.
Israel: Oh wait, we won't agree either... uhh uhh.. we want more F16s, and umm financial aid.
Zinni: Shut up Israel.
Israel: Ok.
Palestinians: Hahahaha... will you leave bethlehem now?
Israel: Will you stop terroism?
Palestinians: Why you ask so hard?
Israel: Why you talk like Chinese?
Zinni: Both of you quiet!.. Don't mention China, you already ruined Iraq for us.
...the saga continues...
And still no talks.
hehehehe, i am an evil person and i don't care about world problems. but on the other hand, i don't see how this middle east thing didn't piss anyone off enough yet to use a couple of thermonuclear warheads
exterminate a couple million innocent, suffering women, children, and elderly and a couple of thousand of terrorists and you'll have no problem! jeez, i'm a sick person... gonna go sleep it over...
NO
Yoepus, i really DONT THINK that your post is funny. Besides the intended "funny" side, there is a manipulation of the truth, as you show the israelis as civilized and fair, and you show the palestinians as a bunch of ehhmm, crazy mother******s. I dont know If you hate palestinians or are just a product of the "missinformation" of most western (specially american) press.
Try watching CNN and then do deeper research, and you will see that news distort the truth. In Peru (my country) the corrupt government that was in power till 2000 filled the media with propaganda in such a huge extend that we we dont trust in the media so blindly . It would be better if you start analyzing news with a critical eye too.
For example, do u know who Sharon is?? He was accused of the assasination of 100+ egyptian POW during the �Sinai? war (i think the UN issued a condemn against that).
Both sides in this terrible war have elements that have so much hate in their bloods that they care more in exterminating the other side that about peace and justice. Not only Palestinian as you would think. Dont you remember how this intifada started?? It was provoced by Sharom himself!
...
hey zzleeper this was intended as a joke, lighten up
plus i dont think its right of you to go around accusing people about being missinformed, especially yoepus...
this is meant be a joke if you want to get involved in the poilitical aspect just read up on the thread here: http://www.tranceaddict.com/forums/...?threadid=36992
it might take a a while to read it all, hehe
Re: NO
| quote: |
| Originally posted by zzleeper Yoepus, i really DONT THINK that your post is funny. |
| quote: |
| I dont know If you hate palestinians or are just a product of the "missinformation" of most western (specially american) press. Try watching CNN and then do deeper research and you will see that news distort the truth. |
| quote: |
| It would be better if you start analyzing news with a critical eye too. |
| quote: |
| For example, do u know who Sharon is?? |
| quote: |
| Not only Palestinian as you would think. Dont you remember how this intifada started?? It was provoced by Sharom himself! |
Looks like Izzy beat me to the post.. So looking back, ya err what Izzy said!
Yoepus
I don't have a solution but I admire the problem.
Ok Yoepus, u re not dissinformed. As a fact, after reading the other post, it appears that you are very informed, thats why i m wondering where is your self critisism (like, why did Israel soldiers targeted medical personal in the recent incursions, why do Israel gov. likes to turn Palestinian houses to rubbish, etc.. u know my point). U wont get anywhere if you keep trying to defend one side without truly analizing the situation, and realizing that as some guy said in the other post, "it takes two to dance tango". And dont trust history so much, it usually tends to favor the winning side (that is, USA, ISRAEL, etc).
Ps: Why did Sharom, knowing that Zinni was coming, and with the Saudi peace iniciative ready to launch, ordered one of the biggest incursions in years, with thousands of soldiers, hundreds of tanks?? You, (probably) being an israely should realize that his hate against arabs(remember what he told bout arafat) makes him incapable of doing the right steps for peace. Remember that there are extremists not only in the arab world, but in Israel. Remember that it wasnt an arab who killed Yitzhak Rabin, it was an extremist.
We shouldnt be arguing against jews, arabs, chinese, etc.. we should be arguing against extremists, those are the ones that cause most wars, and there can be found on BOTH sides... most times, people care only on the extremists on the opposite side.
Re: Re: NO
| quote: |
| Originally posted by Yoepus Oh no! Sharon vistied the Temple Mount.. shame on him, lets go blow up some school children in buses to show them! |
| quote: |
| Mr. Sharon made the visit on September 28 accompanied by over 1,000 Israeli police officers. Although Israelis viewed the visit in an internal political context, Palestinians saw it as highly provocative to them. On the following day, in the same place, a large number of unarmed Palestinian demonstrators and a large Israeli police contingent confronted each other. According to the U.S. Department of State, "Palestinians held large demonstrations and threw stones at police in the vicinity of the Western Wall. Police used rubber-coated metal bullets and live ammunition to disperse the demonstrators, killing 4 persons and injuring about 200."4 According to the GOI, 14 Israeli policemen were injured .... The Sharon visit did not cause the "Al-Aqsa Intifada." But it was poorly timed and the provocative effect should have been foreseen; indeed it was foreseen by those who urged that the visit be prohibited. More significant were the events that followed: the decision of the Israeli police on September 29 to use lethal means against the Palestinian demonstrators; and the subsequent failure, as noted above, of either party to exercise restraint. |
| quote: |
| Originally posted by zzleeper Ok Yoepus, u re not dissinformed. As a fact, after reading the other post, it appears that you are very informed |
| quote: |
| thats why i m wondering where is your self critisism |
| quote: |
| (like, why did Israel soldiers targeted medical personal in the recent incursions, why do Israel gov. likes to turn Palestinian houses to rubbish, etc.. u know my point). |
| quote: |
| U wont get anywhere if you keep trying to defend one side without truly analizing the situation, and realizing that as some guy said in the other post, "it takes two to dance tango". |
| quote: |
| And dont trust history so much, it usually tends to favor the winning side (that is, USA, ISRAEL, etc). |
| quote: |
| Ps: Why did Sharom, knowing that Zinni was coming, and with the Saudi peace iniciative ready to launch, ordered one of the biggest incursions in years, with thousands of soldiers, hundreds of tanks?? |
| quote: |
| You, (probably) being an israely should realize that his hate against arabs(remember what he told bout arafat) makes him incapable of doing the right steps for peace. |
| quote: |
| Remember that there are extremists not only in the arab world, but in Israel. Remember that it wasnt an arab who killed Yitzhak Rabin, it was an extremist. |
| quote: |
| We shouldnt be arguing against jews, arabs, chinese, etc.. we should be arguing against extremists, those are the ones that cause most wars, and there can be found on BOTH sides... most times, people care only on the extremists on the opposite side. |
| quote: |
| Originally posted by TiestoInTheMix i don't see how this middle east thing didn't piss anyone off enough yet to use a couple of thermonuclear warheads exterminate a couple million innocent, suffering women, children, and elderly and a couple of thousand of terrorists and you'll have no problem! jeez, i'm a sick person... gonna go sleep it over... [/B] |
......
I think these are funny. :P

| quote: |
| Originally posted by Excite |

[QUOTE]Originally posted by Excite
[B]I think these are funny. :P
QUOTE]
exactly what i was talking about! someone needs to shoot these guys who create all these problems!


Powered by: vBulletin
Copyright © 2000-2021, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.