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Sexual Gimmick

SEXUAL GIMMICK
By DCB

Many guys are insecure about their bedroom performance, overcompensating with elaborate moves or techniques that makes the girl wonder why you are trying so hard.

You only need one sexual gimmick to keep a girl coming back for more. There are three that I know of:

1. Be pornstar big. This really excuses you from lackluster bedroom performance. In fact, you don�t even have to care about satisfying her but they will come back anyway.

2. Have a passion for eating a girl out. I�m not really into this unless I�m drunk, but a lot of guys don�t mind it. I wish there was a product that would make it taste like your favorite food, instead of a handful of pennies.

3. Be romantic. Somewhere there are guys who like to light candles, put on romantic music, and engage in tantric foreplay sessions that bring him little pleasure, except for the satisfaction that years practicing on his pillow was worth it.

Instead of being an all-around good lover, I suggest you pick one gimmick and develop it as your specialty, something that sticks out enough so that it�s easier for your girlfriend and her friends to make fun of you in private. At least you�ll be known for something.

Re: Sexual Gimmick

quote:

Originally posted by Slylee I wish there was a product that would make it taste like your favorite food, instead of a handful of pennies.

Pennies? Wtf?

Re: Re: Sexual Gimmick

quote:

Originally posted by calamarnie Pennies? Wtf?

I know

It's probably all the iron.

I'm thinking dude is eating out his piggy bank.

Well I know my gimmick!

quote:

Originally posted by Clovis Well I know my gimmick!

Indeed

quote:

Originally posted by RJT Indeed

"Be French"

hahah


gentlemen, i'd go with option 2.


nothing is hotter than a guy who is practically begging you to eat you.

quote:

Originally posted by Slylee hahah gentlemen, i'd go with option 2. nothing is hotter than a guy who is practically begging you to eat you.

AMEN!!!!!

Re: Sexual Gimmick

My gimmick is #2.

I love it like a fat kid loves cake.

quote:

Originally posted by Slylee hahah gentlemen, i'd go with option 2. nothing is hotter than a guy who is practically begging you to eat you.

I actually do beg to. And i get really pissed during that week every month when i cant.

quote:

Originally posted by Enigmatic XTC I actually do beg to. And i get really pissed during that week every month when i cant.

if it's really pissing you off you should just muff her when she's sleeping on that week

quote:

Originally posted by Slylee hahah gentlemen, i'd go with option 2. nothing is hotter than a guy who is practically begging you to eat you.

+1

and you can never go wrong with #1

quote:

Originally posted by Slylee hahah gentlemen, i'd go with option 2. nothing is hotter than a guy who is practically begging you to eat you.

I'm not "going" with option 2, since thats always been my thing. It comes prepackaged with each Clovis, and being French.

quote:

Originally posted by kid nyce if it's really pissing you off you should just muff her when she's sleeping on that week

she would wake up. and im not a fan of the taste menstrual flow.

quote:

Originally posted by Slylee hahah gentlemen, i'd go with option 2. nothing is hotter than a guy who is practically begging you to eat you.

that's funny i was making it very clear last night that i wanted to do that, but she wanted to get right to it...but i def. love doing that.

quote:

Originally posted by tctitan that's funny i was making it very clear last night that i wanted to do that, but she wanted to get right to it...but i def. love doing that.

I know several chicks that dont like guys going down on them, whether they are insecure about themselves down there or just dont like it, I could never understand it.

quote:

Originally posted by Enigmatic XTC she would wake up. and im not a fan of the taste menstrual flow.

mmmmmmmm.....Iron

BTW, for all the #2 people, i think some of you are confusing the desire to please with the desire to eat pussy. Some girls just enjoy a good pounding over the diving.

quote:

Originally posted by Groundhog Boy BTW, for all the #2 people, i think some of you are confusing the desire to please with the desire to eat pussy.

Thats only true for the guys that love to eat pussy, but have no idea what they are doing down there.

[Dane Cook]


Yeah I like to go down there....I BITE IT...I YELL at it...."HELLOOOO?" "DOES ANYBODY IN THERE NEED HELP?"


...and then I UPPER-CUT YOUR TAINT! PTSHE!

[/Dane Cook]

quote:

Originally posted by Groundhog Boy mmmmmmmm.....Iron BTW, for all the #2 people, i think some of you are confusing the desire to please with the desire to eat pussy. Some girls just enjoy a good pounding over the diving.

I'm not confusing anything. My girl just loves it when i get a full meal, and she shows her appreciation very obviously and occasionally violently. BTW, i love your sig. Thats one of my favorite bill hicks sketches.

Re: Re: Sexual Gimmick

quote:

Originally posted by Vlad My gimmick is #2. I love it like a fat kid loves cake.

me 2 eatin punanny FTW

love it when the nails dig in to my head and arms when im tearin it up

quote:

Originally posted by Clovis [Dane Cook] Yeah I like to go down there....I BITE IT...I YELL at it...."HELLOOOO?" "DOES ANYBODY IN THERE NEED HELP?" ...and then I UPPER-CUT YOUR TAINT! PTSHE! [/Dane Cook]

that man is a genius

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