Girls with HOT voices and DISGUSTING faces thread

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Posted by Akridrot on Nov-24-2006 06:46:

Girls with HOT voices and DISGUSTING faces thread

Why must life constantly tease and disappoint?

Today we went to my aunt's for Thanksgiving. My aunt's husband (we'll call him H) revealed to me today that he had a daughter with another woman before he met my aunt. All the family older than my generation knew this, but never really spoke about it.

His daughter is doing BIG things. She is intelligent and successful, and he's mighty proud of her. H told me to go on-line to check for her, but he didn't know where to go. So he calls her to ask.

After a few sentences exchanged between them, he puts the phone to my ear.

In all honesty, her voice alone excited me. So she gives the directions and we get to the site, all is good. I ask "How much older than me is she? I've never seen her before?" At this point I'm desperate to see this beauty. He only confirms that she's much older than me, but offers to show me her pics. I am happy.

After he comes back with his book, he flips through the pages looking for her pic. I am on the edge of my seat, and I want to see this hot babe. He can't find it. He flips front to back, looking for it. Damn, I'm disappointed. "Hold on, I know where her picture is," he says.

Now I can't wait, he's in the back rummaging through his stuff, looking for me. I imagine how beautiful and fuckable she will look. I get hard, I fantasize about meeting her on false pretenses (something about relatives) and fucking her. I can't help myself.

He walks toward me with the picture and I start smiling, I can't wait. He shows me. She has a FUCKING MUSTACHE.

RAAAAAAAAAWWWWWWWWWWR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

GODDAMN!!!!!!!!!

STUPID UGLY BITCH!!!!!!!

Then he was grinning at me and I didn't want to hurt his feelings, so I said "looks familiar," already uninterested in whatever bullshit he had to tell me about that.

Seriously, I got so hyped up by myself that I expected her to be drop dead gorgeous. I was dead wrong.

Thank science I still have a hot cousin who's always asking for me. If I play my cards right I'll be all up in her ass by next year. But it'll take some work, her mother is about to die (she'll be all sad and depressed, you know how it is).

Posted by Halcyon+On+On on Nov-24-2006 06:49:

haha what?

Is this a serious thread?

Posted by Orbital32 on Nov-24-2006 06:52:

wanting to hook up with your uncle's daughter (which technically makes you cousins) uhmmmm okkkkay.

Posted by Lilith on Nov-24-2006 06:54:

I don't care if it is or isn't, I'm still rofl about the cousin thing

Posted by Akridrot on Nov-24-2006 06:55:

quote:
Originally posted by Orbital32
wanting to hook up with your uncle's daughter (which technically makes you cousins) uhmmmm okkkkay.

Since when were the husbands of people's aunts their uncles? I think you got confused. My aunt's huband isn't my uncle, he's my "aunt's HUSBAND". Therefore, his daughter by another woman is not related to me AT ALL.

But what does it matter, I want to fuck my real cousin anyway. And she's my first cousin. I don't give a rat's ass, I'd fuck her raw right this instant if given the chance.

Also, @ Halcyon: This happened. As you can see, no theme songs and funny images at the bottom of this post. Even I don't know what to say about all this.

edit: I'm going to bed. I'll answer any questions or comments tommorrow.

Posted by Nrg2Nfinit on Nov-24-2006 06:58:

dude i know what you mean.. my cousins are hot as fcuck.. they are california beach babes.. but still i wont get an errection because i know their my cousins.

there are more fish in the sea.

Plus who cares if she has a moustaceh... i have a unibrow.. just get rid of that shit.. would she be hot without a moustache?

Posted by Orbital32 on Nov-24-2006 07:21:

quote:
Originally posted by Akridrot
Since when were the husbands of people's aunts their uncles? I think you got confused. My aunt's huband isn't my uncle, he's my "aunt's HUSBAND". Therefore, his daughter by another woman is not related to me AT ALL.

But what does it matter, I want to fuck my real cousin anyway. And she's my first cousin. I don't give a rat's ass, I'd fuck her raw right this instant if given the chance.

Also, @ Halcyon: This happened. As you can see, no theme songs and funny images at the bottom of this post. Even I don't know what to say about all this.

edit: I'm going to bed. I'll answer any questions or comments tommorrow.

sorry, i forgot that incest doesn't apply in Dixieland.

Posted by jonSun on Nov-24-2006 07:24:

You really got the hots for your uncle.

Posted by Arbiter on Nov-24-2006 07:29:

Yeah, I'm gonna just go ahead and assume this was supposed to be a joke. Good one.

Posted by Sushipunk on Nov-24-2006 08:15:

quote:
Originally posted by Akridrot
Since when were the husbands of people's aunts their uncles? I think you got confused. My aunt's huband isn't my uncle, he's my "aunt's HUSBAND". Therefore, his daughter by another woman is not related to me AT ALL.

But what does it matter, I want to fuck my real cousin anyway. And she's my first cousin. I don't give a rat's ass, I'd fuck her raw right this instant if given the chance.

Also, @ Halcyon: This happened. As you can see, no theme songs and funny images at the bottom of this post. Even I don't know what to say about all this.

edit: I'm going to bed. I'll answer any questions or comments tommorrow.

She's family by marriage. Sorry dude, you're a weirdo. On the upside, now you can finally fulfill your life-long dream of going on Jerry Springer!

Posted by simplcake on Nov-24-2006 08:21:

ask her for a phone sex

Posted by Sushipunk on Nov-24-2006 08:54:

quote:
Originally posted by take5
ask her for a phone sex

Just one?

Posted by Dj O'Callaghan on Nov-24-2006 08:58:

Akridrot pictured earlier.

I know what you mean though about chicks with hot voices but in person their ugly. I used to deal with this supplier she had a right foxy voice. It used to make my neck tingle whenever I had a conversation with her, it wasn't too soon that I switched on the charm with the flirtatious minx.

One day she visited. I walked into reception to greet her looked nice from the back until she turned around, tombstone buck teeth a giant parrot beak nose and a horrific fan tan which resembled an Ompah Lumpah. A total case of body from Baywatch face from Crimewatch syndrome.

Posted by lexxwolfen on Nov-24-2006 09:37:

Re: Girls with HOT voices and DISGUSTING faces thread

quote:
Originally posted by Akridrot

He walks toward me with the picture and I start smiling, I can't wait. He shows me. She has a FUCKING MUSTACHE.

RAAAAAAAAAWWWWWWWWWWR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

GODDAMN!!!!!!!!!

i just choked on my drink from reading that...

Posted by mellow_head on Nov-24-2006 11:09:

lol @ the Californian beach babes quote I'm a barbie girl, in a barbie woooorld, life in plastic, it's fantastic..

Posted by mellow_head on Nov-24-2006 11:11:

Re: Girls with HOT voices and DISGUSTING faces thread

quote:
Originally posted by Akridrot
...If I play my cards right I'll be all up in her ass by next year. But it'll take some work, her mother is about to die (she'll be all sad and depressed, you know how it is).

So you're a jerk, right?

Posted by kiev_42 on Nov-24-2006 11:35:

quote:
Originally posted by Akridrot
Since when were the husbands of people's aunts their uncles? I think you got confused. My aunt's huband isn't my uncle, he's my "aunt's HUSBAND". Therefore, his daughter by another woman is not related to me AT ALL.

But what does it matter, I want to fuck my real cousin anyway. And she's my first cousin. I don't give a rat's ass, I'd fuck her raw right this instant if given the chance.

Also, @ Halcyon: This happened. As you can see, no theme songs and funny images at the bottom of this post. Even I don't know what to say about all this.

edit: I'm going to bed. I'll answer any questions or comments tommorrow.

dogg wtf your first cousin is practically your sister. Dont you think thats a bit weird?

Posted by Az on Nov-24-2006 14:10:

jasmin from aladdin, she's fucking vile

Posted by Rinster on Nov-24-2006 14:12:

this thread is useless without pics.

Posted by Nrg2Nfinit on Nov-24-2006 14:14:

quote:
Originally posted by Az
jasmin from aladdin, she's fucking vile

id fuck her

Posted by Az on Nov-24-2006 14:22:

I'd fuck Jasmin as well, the woman who did the voice isn't up to scratch

Posted by Rinster on Nov-24-2006 14:23:

lol fapping to jasmine haha

Posted by DarkAngel on Nov-24-2006 15:50:

Um....

Wow. That's all I can say right now.

Posted by Akridrot on Nov-24-2006 15:59:

Incest isn't just for rednecks, you close-minded fucks. Intelligent people do it too.

If your mom was Jessica Alba, wouldn't you fuck her? No? You're LYING. If my mom was that hot, incest wouldn't be a problem. But she isn't, so I'd NEVER do anything sexually with her (Yuck! *spits in disgust*).

When it's a regular relative (I think "Ewww, family!"), I can't fuck them because it's icky. Even WITH a condom. But when it's a hot relative, the hotness overrides the morals and I will LOVE fucking her, (even?) without a condom. At that point, being related to me is a bonus.

The fact that she's so hot and she's my family will make me cum like my first time (when it was clear and shit, and you got sleepy). I lust for this. The shame, guilt, feelings of disgust afterwards, the coruption of an innocent family member (who's over 18)... it drives me wild. It feels so good to sin and destroy the sacredness of your own family. *drools*

You guys will never know this level of forbidden pleasure.

BUT! They have to be extremely pretty for me to even think this. People like me have standards. If I didn't, I'd fuck 'em all. Only the best looking ones for me.

quote:
Originally posted by Nrg2Nfinit
Plus who cares if she has a moustaceh... i have a unibrow.. just get rid of that shit.. would she be hot without a moustache?

No.

No.

No.

In 6th grade, there was a girl in my class who had a moustache and was still pretty. That doesn't apply to the girl in this topic.

Posted by Akridrot on Nov-24-2006 16:01:

Why should sexual relations between two consenting adults ever be wrong?

If you are against incest, you are against:

Gays
Minorities
Religion
Poor people
and Women

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