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Story time...

Ok I�ll try to make this as short as possible but it�s probably going to be long anyway. Just want to give some background info. because I feel like it�s crucial in making a decision about the situation. And also, I just feel like venting about it and writing it out.


Growing up, I had a best friend whom I was attached to the hip with. We got in all kinds of trouble together, had our curious lesbian experience together in 8th & 9th grade. She was like a sister to me. But as she got older, she became bitchier and bitchier. She had fucked up parents and a really fucked up older sister whom she looked up to even though her sister was a trashy coke dealing club whore with a kid.

So my senior year of high school (after returning from Japan�I didn�t really keep in touch with her that much during my 2 years in Japan) we got right back to being buddies again. She didn�t hesitate to introduce me to �e� and other drugs and her boyfriend. Her boyfriend was actually a sweetheart. He worshiped the ground she walked on.

She starts popping xanax and smoking weed constantly while on prozac. TOTAL bitch by the end of the year. She was never really a great friend to me at all (even in middle school she was moody). She constantly had drama in her life and she was the type of person you always had to walk on eggshells around. Like everyone had to please her�she gave off that vibe. Total diva. I had a pretty strong personality back then, as I do today, but I was only like that around people I was comfortable with. I wasn�t as confident back then, so I sort of took a back seat to her the entire time we were friends. I was always there for her, but she wasn�t really there for me. I feel like she just kept me around because she knew she could depend on me and I made her feel better.

Fast fwd to the summer after we graduate. She�s really fucking up by now�has sex with like 3 guys that summer�while she�s still w/ the boyfriend whom I�m really good friends with at this point, and it bothers me that she�s doing this because he was good to her. Not to mention, she starts stealing money from her parents. Took her mom�s credit card and went shopping and lied about it.

Towards the end of the summer, she leaves for Vegas to go visit her aunt whom she hadn�t seen in forever. While she�s in Vegas, her parents find out about the credit card thing, and they write her a letter telling her she�s not welcome back into their home. So she stays out there and finds a job and lives w/ the aunt. I try to keep in touch with her, but I really had no desire to. Her boyfriend and I ended up getting wasted one night and we both had this big heart to heart about her and he told me all these rotten things she had said about me and that he was always sticking up for me with her and telling her that I was a good friend and asking her what her problem was with me. I was crushed. So naturally, I told him about the guys she fucked (he had already heard a ton of rumors and had accused her, but had no real evidence).

We both got really upset with her and a couple nights later he has people over his house for a party and totally comes on to me and we end up hooking up with each other as a rebound. I mean, we didn�t announce this was the reason, but it was pretty obvious why we hooked up. I felt bad, but at the same time, I was like, �fuck her�.

She has made attempts to reach out to me a lot over the past like 5 years. Always calls me when she�s in town�well, she calls my mom�s house and I never called her back. I saw her one time about 4 years ago during Christmas. She had her kid with her (she has 3 fucking kids now and is married). It was kinda fake. I didn�t really enjoy being with her and seeing her. I brought her kid a little stuffed treefrog to be nice and all that, but after that, I didn�t speak to her any more.

Well now she is reaching out to me again through email and asking me if anything is wrong and why I never call her back and if she did anything to hurt me in the past, that she�s sorry and bla bla bla. She said she could really use someone who "knows her" right now. I�m thinking, �knows you??� I don�t fucking know her. And she doesn�t even know anything about me. We�re totally different now. She said she always thinks of me when her son has his little stuffed toy I gave him...she's being all sappy.

I wrote her back explaining to her that we spent a great deal apart during a time when we probably did the most growing up, and that we don�t really �know� each other at all, and that I feel like it would take a lot of time and effort to become friends again at this point in our lives. I said that I never called her back because I wasn�t willing to do that because I�m just too busy right now and sort of over her...I just felt like being brutally honest. I also explained to her about how in the past, she wasn't a good friend to me at all, and that I just got fed up and moved on a long time ago. It was a very blunt, maybe even a little harsh email, but she asked, so I told. I ended it by telling her that I did have a soft spot for her and that my door is open, but that I�m just really busy lately and I would try to get back to her if she called me and I gave her my cell phone.

She wrote back saying she feels better knowing how I felt, and that it took her a really long time to figure out how to be a good friend and that she hopes she can make it up to me some day. She said she'll call me "when the time is right". I can tell she�s not happy with her husband and she�s probably miserable, but my attitude is like, "oh well, not my problem".

To me, I just can�t be bothered right now. It�s not that I�m still mad at her, I�m just a different person and she�s on the other side of the country. When I get dicked over like that, I tend to really shut my feelings off. I mean, there's just nothing left for her. I'm totally numb about the whole thing. It�s too much work to �catch up� with her now.

Am I being a heartless bitch? I�m not one to continue being friends with someone out of obligation or just because we grew up together. That�s not a good reason to stay friends with someone at all as far as I�m concerned.

Of course my mom feels bad for her and thinks I should make an effort to talk to her, but I don't really care.

How would you guys act or feel?

COR version:

my old best friend who was always a bitch to me is trying to reach out to me now and make things better, but i'm not interested.

coooooold bloooodeeeed

quote:

Originally posted by Slylee COR version: my old best friend who was always a bitch to me is trying to reach out to me now and make things better, but i'm not interested.

pull an Aristronica and kill the bitch

k

quote:

Originally posted by Slylee i'm not interested.

But honestly - fuck her. If you're not interested, just cut her off. It's generally my last resort, but when people just don't take the hint that I want nothing to do with them, I just drop them. Don't answer calls, don't reply to emails, nothing. In situations like this, you're in complete control of who you want to be a part of your life - if you don't want someone around, simply don't even acknowledge their existence. Trust me - I know what it's like when you can't be bothered by folks who pretty much won't leave you alone.

This will generally piss people off, but it works if you stick to your guns.

i tried to edit it and make it shorter, but it's still long lol


oh well. it's not going to be hard for me at all to stick to my guns...if i don't like someone or want to talk to them, trust me, i'm just like that mikey. something inside of me just shuts off like a switch. but obviously, a part of me is kind of doubtful a little...just wondering if i'm being too harsh, and if i should feel like i owe it to her because we go way back...

quote:

Originally posted by Slylee i tried to edit it and make it shorter, but it's still long lol oh well. it's not going to be hard for me at all to stick to my guns...if i don't like someone or want to talk to them, trust me, i'm just like that mikey. something inside of me just shuts off like a switch. but obviously, a part of me is kind of doubtful a little...just wondering if i'm being too harsh, and if i should feel like i owe it to her because we go way back...

If you have any doubts, it sounds like your "switch" needs to be rewired

It may sound cold, but I've gotten really good at cutting the rotten people out of my life - there simply aren't enough hours in a day for me to worry about people who don't really matter in the long run.

reestablishing yourself as a bitch eh ?

thank god you also wrote a core version. I just read the second post.

What a big read that was.

Sounds like your old best mate has had a real big shock. Running around carefree screwing people over and she's got the bad deal in the end. Your the one with a bright and sucessful future ahead of you and she's the one who's messed up. If you contact her I'd assume it'll probably just bring a lot of negativity into your world. You'll call her and the whole call will probably be her ranting on about her life and how she's not happy.

If she wasn't a good friend in the first place don't bother with her then your better off without her.

quote:

She was never really a great friend to me at all (even in middle school she was moody). She constantly had drama in her life and she was the type of person you always had to walk on eggshells around. Like everyone had to please her�she gave off that vibe. Total diva. I had a pretty strong personality back then, as I do today, but I was only like that around people I was comfortable with. I wasn�t as confident back then, so I sort of took a back seat to her the entire time we were friends. I was always there for her, but she wasn�t really there

Unpredictable people are the worst. Every group of mates has it's strong personalities unfortunatly some occasionally have a severly insecure character. When you have someone like this the focus of the friendship ends up being on them and their needs as everyones going out of their way to make the person in question happy. People like that are a drain other people, no one has the freedom to be themselves.

quote:

Of course my mom feels bad for her and thinks I should make an effort to talk to her, but I don't really care.

Did your Mum ever get to see the real diva version of your friend? Some of my mates were right little hoodlums when we were younger all it took was 'Hello Miss O'Callaghan how are you?' and my Mum would say 'what great lads your friends are Keir'

Oh yea, and might I add that I believe that she has a BIG part in the reason why I�m very hesitant of getting close to girls. I only got really close and attached to one other girl after her and this was like 3 � years ago and she ended up sort of dissing me for a guy too, and I got really hurt and pissed, but that�s a whole other story. I just simply don�t get very close with girls. I mean, I have lots of girlfriends these days, but I don�t confide in them that much or let myself get close. We just party together and shop together, but that�s it.


O'callaghan...you hit the nail on the head and I really appreciate you taking the time to read my post and respond. That's exactly how I feel and exactly how things were. I never really had a chance to shine around her because like you said, she was always the focus, and she drained me. I was always just "her friend" and i wasn't comfortable with that label. I felt like her bitch or something.

I explained things to my mom, and I can tell that she totally knows where I'm coming from, but I can also tell she's like, "Oh Jamie, just call her". But she's not pushing me too, so that's cool. I think my mom respects my decision, but at first she was bugging me to call her, and it made me doubt my actions and feelings.

quote:

Originally posted by Slylee O'callaghan...you hit the nail on the head and I really appreciate you taking the time to read my post and respond. That's exactly how I feel and exactly how things were. I never really had a chance to shine around her because like you said, she was always the focus, and she drained me. I was always just "her friend" and i wasn't comfortable with that label. I felt like her bitch or something.

Exactly your supposed to be comfortable around your friends. It's not a good when your having to accomodate for another person all the time as you don't have time to interact properly. I've met quite a few people who have severly unpredictable behaviour it unerves people and becomes quite uncomfortable. Your best of just advoiding moody people. There used to be a bloke who drank in my local pub he'd be a good laugh other times he'd go mad flip out and beat up people he was quite simular to Joe Pesci's character out of Goodfellas.

If you do decide to ring her the whole focus of the conversation will revolve around her too. It'll be one of those negative 'What if's' or 'I wish' conversations where you have to listen to someone whinge on about how bad they've got it now due to their past.

Re: Story time...

quote:

Originally posted by Slylee We ... had our curious lesbian experience together in 8th & 9th grade.

I have some recommendations, however in order to better help you with great advice, I'd like to know more details about the above said passage.

she came on to me and i was actually really scared, but didn't say anything. i just went along and this continued for a year or so. we would just hook up with each other a lot. this was way before we lost our virginities and discovered boys. i ended up losing mine in the summer going into 11th grade and never looked back.


i <3 dick

i wonder if i was in love with her or something weird like that since we had the physical connection too. it was like some sort of unhealthy relationship.

Re: Story time...

quote:

Originally posted by Slylee Am I being a heartless bitch?

Yes. I have never felt so proud.

quote:

Originally posted by Slylee she came on to me and i was actually really scared, but didn't say anything. i just went along and this continued for a year or so. we would just hook up with each other a lot. this was way before we lost our virginities and discovered boys. i ended up losing mine in the summer going into 11th grade and never looked back. i <3 dick i wonder if i was in love with her or something weird like that since we had the physical connection too. it was like some sort of unhealthy relationship.

OK, thank you, I just came back from my cigarette.

For being a good sport... Honestly, that's normal. Two of my exs have done similar things at 12. They were just goofing off and doing what feels good, and it seems normal since girls are much more touchy-feely than guys, and things like that happen until someone realizes what they're really doing.

I've had friends come and go. I'm in my 30s, so I have been reached out to and did my own reaching out to old lost friends. Thank Myspace and classmates for that.

It's hard to make a reconnection with those who have chosen a different turn at the same fork in the road. There's lots of forks, so it's hard to end up anywhere near on the same level in life.

I could say this is similar to a mid-life crisis. One remembers the best of times, and tries to relive them at times. Life is a large book. It's fun to go back and read some older chapters, but one must remember that the book isn't complete and one must look forward to writing a lot more.

this is just another part of life. not everything lasts forever....and sometimes that sucks, but if you really feel like you don't want to be involved w/ her anymore, then just stick with your gut. if it was awkward back then , it would be even more awkward. now

ps, kudos for telling her straight up, and not sugar coating it; or being fake back to her.

quote:

Originally posted by RJT I've gotten really good at cutting the rotten people out of my life

QFT - I just did it again!

Fucking dickhead DJ's.

quote:

Originally posted by RJT QFT - I just did it again! Fucking dickhead DJ's.

Do tell.

quote:

Originally posted by UWM Do tell.

Nothing that's really all too easy to explain, or worth telling.

Needless to say, there are times in life when you realize a friendship is entirely one sided - and I simply don't care to count such parasites among my friends.

Long story short: I'm not a promoter. I'd like to keep DJ'ing in the realm of "fun" things for me to do - this person made it feel a little more like work, and I can't have that.

it sounds like your friend is one of those really emotionally needy people who doesn't have any friends now and is trying to get the few she ever did have back. it's really fucked up that she talked shit about you to her ex. i see no reason to try and stay friends with someone who has always treated you like shit. being a good friend is not rocket science. if they don't have it down by this point in their life, they never will. i'm proud of you for being honest with her in that e-mail, and i don't think you should feel bad about your decision.

Jesus came into my heart and wanted me to enter this thread, to tell you that you should tell that bitch to STFU & get on with her miserable life. He also expressed great sadness due to the fact that the lesbian experience you talked about was not accompanied by pictures.

quote:

Originally posted by Jansa Jesus came into my heart and wanted me to enter this thread, to tell you that you should tell that bitch to STFU & get on with her miserable life. He also expressed great sadness due to the fact that the lesbian experience you talked about was not accompanied by pictures.

you want pics of preteen lesbo sex?

quote:

Originally posted by Ivand pull an Aristronica and kill the bitch

no no no, first you make sure the husband is capable of taking care of the kids when their mom is gone. if not, of course then you gotta "take care" of them first, one by one... then the mother.

it's not always as simple as "kill the bitch".

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