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[Subway_Stories] Metro Edition
So I guess this is a thread for all SUBWAY related stories, incidents, funnies, or rants! I said SUBWAY, not LIRR or NJ Transit, STRICTLY SUBWAY!
I guess I'll start it off...
I hate commuting on the train in the morning. I mean normally I jump on, squeeze in, do what i gotta do because its only 2 express stops for me to get to work, but today, GOD TODAY, it was semi-crowded, enough where people had to stand side by side and not your usually sardine can, but this lady got on right behind me. Now I don't have anything about people who are overweight, hell I'm fat myself, but she was fairly large such that her size was moving the mass of people around her so that she could stand. I'm not trying to be funny nor am I saying particularly about her size, but she just took up space. That's fine, people don't control their own metabolism. That's not what bothered me, what bothered me was that she had her bag wrapped around her with a rather large umbrella sticking out of it..and yea it was smack in my back. I shifted to move as she proceeded to take her bag off.
Now I'm not sure how tired she was but after pulling the bag strap off her shoulder, she proceeded to just DROP HER BAG. Keep in mind it's the morning rush and there are plenty of other people on the train as well. Now whatever she had in her bag it was pretty heavy, heavy enough that when her bag landed on the top of my foot, it left that warm sensation of pain. So to the added imposing of self and space taking she pretty much came off as she didn't give a fuck about anyone around her. Ok whatever I moved down some pushing into another guy standing on the other side of me.
She slides down closer to me such that her back is perpendicular with one of the center holding poles, she slides her bag with her foot as she moves such that its between her legs still on the floor. Guess what this bitch does, she leans back on the center pole. Thank god I wasn't holding onto it cuz after all the pushing and space imposing she did to me, I woulda blown up on her on the train. It didn't help that when I turned to look her in the eye that her face was glistening with sweat....
I'm not one to hate because I've been in a similar situation where I'm sweaty, hot, on the train, and annoyed but this lady was just rude!
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On a lighter note, last night I saw one of those groups of kids that come on the train doing tricks and all for money. This one dude was doing backflips and all grabbing the poles doing flips, ends up kicking this lady in the head...needless to say most people started to laugh...I admit, I was one of them! I didn't laugh because the lady got kicked in the head, i felt sorry for her, i laughed because it was one of those things where you look and think oh god what if he kicks someone in the head, and sure enough wham, right in the head.
Share you stories, read stories, rant, rave, anything related to an experience on a NYC Subway!
HAHAHAHA sounds nearly as bad as what happened to me.
Back in the day I was getting on the 7 train on main street during the morning rush. You know how packed and crazy it gets down there. There are tons of people all bolting for the train as soon as those doors open up.Conveniently when the train pulled in I was standing in the exact area right in front of the doors so I had a good chance of actually getting a seat because I had a really long long ride to downtown Brooklyn (where I was working at the time).
So I am waiting by the door patiently for the door to open.The door opens and I walk right in and make a swift right to a double seat and a guy sits next to me. Seconds later here comes a lady that was rushing to the same seat I had in mind and SHE SAT ON ME!!!! Not that I am skinny either but she wasnt exactly feather light and she weighed much more than me.
Not only did I push her off of me but I gave her a swift kick in the ass for her to be on her way. Luckily I was not holding hot coffee or anything important in my lap. If I was I can't honestly say how I would have reacted. She cursed me out in her language and left the train car entirely from embarasment.
a whole new meaning to lupe's KICK PUSH track!
Alyssa and I was waiting for the E train at 74th st, and of course that platform is usually overcrowded. As the train approaches into the station, we see the train was pretty full. Luckily we usually stand on the platform where the doors open. So we squeeze into the car and head downtown. So we both try to secure our limited space on the train during our train ride to work, making our observations on who is on the train, who is doing what, etc to amuse our selfs. As we are facing each other, i look behind alyssa and there was this lady standing next to her pickin her nose. LOL Of course alyssa looks at my face expression and turns around. She sees the lady picking her nose and moves away giving her a disgusting look. Im trying to contain myself but not pointing at the booger lady and full out laugh at her.
As alyssa is inching away from her booger filled fingers and me giggling my ass off, the booger lady probably had no idea that we was laughing and disgusted by her. I guess she was really diggin for the prize. Her finger was basically scratching her brain. lol
Damn, do people have no shame in picking their nose in public?
and to think we all grab onto the train poles unknowingly...
GAG~!
i seen a guy take a shit on the Q Train....However the funniest thing i ever seen was an old guy pretending to play "englishman in new york" on a casio synth,,,the tune was obviously programmed into the thing but he pretended to play it with passion....
i remember i was on the train with a couple of friends downtown somewhere and i was standing by the doors. A bunch of tourists with backpacks gets into the train and stands pretty close to where i was standing. Keep in mind that the train was pretty empty. So im thinking WTF, why do you have to stand so close to me? As my stop was approaching, im tryin to make my way to the door, i ripped a silent but deadly bomb in front of them, and off my merry way laughing on the platform and up the stairs.
LOL
Welcome to NYC. lol
Couple of weeks back on the F train. Got on train city bound, and heard a squawk.
Some guy with two real parrots on his bag. Not tethered or anything- totally loose. Perfectly well behaved- just the odd squawk and what I think was a bit of them saying hello.
Woman opposite him asked what was in the bag he was holding that kept moving about....so he opened it to show her. It was a python! (no pics of that!) Crazy.
Got off at Jay street with them perched on top of his bag:
Blue one on the top had to duck to avoid hitting the door frame.
Random
LOL Hit and Run!
Once I was on the subway going to a party around 11ish and the train was fairly empty. I'm sitting across from my friend and he had an empty seat on either side of him. This one guy sitting 2 seats next to him was sleeping but sleeping upright and was doing the head nod thing. You know when you're falling asleep and your head and body starts to drift in a certain direction. Well anyways I'm sitting there talking with him and the dude next to him is literally like hanging over to his side and was like that for like 2 stops. So I said to my boy yo watch out he's gonna fall on you...so my boy looked at me and like rolled his eyes over to the guy and was watching him. The guy sat back upright in midsleep so I thought oh damn he's not gonna fall. 3 seconds later, from the sitting upright position, WHAM to the side he falls without trying to hold himself up as my boy jumped out from the chair so the guy wouldn't fall on him.
everyone on the train started to crack up, i was dying laughing when the guy woke up but didn't care that he saw me laughing at him.
This one time on the E train about a week and a half ago, this old homeless dude, really talk, skinny, and his lip curved downward so u could see his rotten teeth (a lot of them are like that)... he is in the corner where the disabled persons seating is... he gets up, takes his wanker out of the fly of his jeans and starts beating off hahaha i was laughing, cos only in new york can you find that... the train comes to a hault at the next station and he falls and is on the floor on his back just beating off and moaning really loudly (drunkly) "UNHHHHHHH.. UNHHHHHHH!"
| quote: |
| Originally posted by DJ Eco This one time on the E train about a week and a half ago, this old homeless dude, really talk, skinny, and his lip curved downward so u could see his rotten teeth (a lot of them are like that)... he is in the corner where the disabled persons seating is... he gets up, takes his wanker out of the fly of his jeans and starts beating off hahaha i was laughing, cos only in new york can you find that... the train comes to a hault at the next station and he falls and is on the floor on his back just beating off and moaning really loudly (drunkly) "UNHHHHHHH.. UNHHHHHHH!" |
| quote: |
| Originally posted by Freak Couple of weeks back on the F train. Got on train city bound, and heard a squawk. Some guy with two real parrots on his bag. Not tethered or anything- totally loose. Perfectly well behaved- just the odd squawk and what I think was a bit of them saying hello. Woman opposite him asked what was in the bag he was holding that kept moving about....so he opened it to show her. It was a python! (no pics of that!) Crazy. Got off at Jay street with them perched on top of his bag: Blue one on the top had to duck to avoid hitting the door frame. Random |
Borat with the chicken,,,
| quote: |
| Originally posted by steven-neil steven-neil with a pint |
I was waiting for my downtown 2/3 express train at the Times Square station one time, just going to work in the morning. The usual deal - the train arrives, it's pretty crowded, the people on the platform begin gathering around the doors getting ready for them to open. So I'm waiting for the doors in front of me to open, they do, and people start walking out. All of a sudden, this dude steps right into the gap between the train and the platform and half his leg (almost up to his knee) falls into the gap! And he's stuck! He starts howling and yelling at the top of his lungs, while we're all looking at him in horror. We tried helping him up, but he eventually just pulled so hard that he finally set himself loose. We all just kind of went on the train and let him be alone on the platform. He sat on the nearest stairs and just began crying.
stan you shoulda consoled him...
put yo head on my shooooullldderrss
| quote: |
| Originally posted by kid nyce stan you shoulda consoled him... put yo head on my shooooullldderrss |
i hate the subway with passion!!!!!!!!!
there are these 3 black dudes that harmonize giligan's island theme... i always give them money...
worst is during rush hour when someone decides to use their whole body to hug the pole.
E train is probably one of the most ghetto lines ever. i was coming home late one night just minding my own business when i see a stream of liquid winding its way down to my end of the car. i follow the stream up and i see a guy kinda sitting by himself at the other end of the car. i couldn't really see that well but i swear i think the guy was pissing himself in his pants he was so fucking drunk. his jeans were seriously getting darker. just sitting there and urinating. ugh it was disgusting.
seen the usual vomiting, etc etc.
another time i was waiting on the downtown platform at 51st street on the 6 during the late AM rush. the train pulls in and i'm standing at one of the "step aside" places on the platform. the 6 is always packed no matter when so i'm right at the door and platform edge, letting people off. this guy behind me tries to go around me and move against the flow of people moving out. i quickly saw what he was trying to do, and laid my shoulder into him, knocking him back a few steps. he didn't try it after that.
| quote: |
| Originally posted by DJ Eco This one time on the E train about a week and a half ago, this old homeless dude, really talk, skinny, and his lip curved downward so u could see his rotten teeth (a lot of them are like that)... he is in the corner where the disabled persons seating is... he gets up, takes his wanker out of the fly of his jeans and starts beating off hahaha i was laughing, cos only in new york can you find that... the train comes to a hault at the next station and he falls and is on the floor on his back just beating off and moaning really loudly (drunkly) "UNHHHHHHH.. UNHHHHHHH!" |
I would laugh but be horrified.. 
the N/W trains sees alot of the man with the accordian who plays the theme from titanic. He doesn't say a word either.
i once got so wasted on jose cuervo that i passed out and woke up 3 hours later near coney island.... 
| quote: |
| Originally posted by DJ_Lord i hate the subway with passion!!!!!!!!! |
| quote: |
| Originally posted by Freak Couple of weeks back on the F train. Got on train city bound, and heard a squawk. Some guy with two real parrots on his bag. Not tethered or anything- totally loose. Perfectly well behaved- just the odd squawk and what I think was a bit of them saying hello. Woman opposite him asked what was in the bag he was holding that kept moving about....so he opened it to show her. It was a python! (no pics of that!) Crazy. Got off at Jay street with them perched on top of his bag: Blue one on the top had to duck to avoid hitting the door frame. Random |
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