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Posted by Gucio on Apr-05-2002 04:41:

If GM Operated Like Microsoft

At a recent computer expo (COMDEX), Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer industry with the auto industry and stated, "If GM had kept up with the technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving $25.00 cars that got 1,000 miles to the gallon."

In response to Bill's comments, General Motors issued a press release stating, "If GM had developed technology like Microsoft, we would all be driving cars with the following characteristics:

1. For no reason whatsoever, your car would crash twice a day.

2. Every time they painted new lines on the road, you would have to buy a new car.

3. Occasionally your car would die on the freeway for no reason. You would have to pull over to the side of the road, close all of the windows, shut off the car, restart it, and reopen the windows before you could continue. For some reason you would simply accept this.

4. Occasionally, executing a maneuver such as a left turn would cause your car to shut down and refuse to restart, in which case you would have to reinstall the engine.

5. Only one person at a time could use the car unless you bought "CarNT," but then you would have to buy more seats.

6. Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun, was reliable, five times as fast and twice as easy to drive -- but it
would only run on five percent of the roads.

7. The oil, water temperature and alternator warning lights would all be replaced by a single "general protection fault" warning light.

8. The airbag system would ask, "Are you sure?" before deploying.

9. Occasionally, for no reason whatsoever, you car would lock you out and refuse to let you in until you simultaneously lifted the door handle, turned the key and grabbed hold of the antenna.

10. GM would require all car buyers to also purchase a deluxe set of Rand McNally Road maps (now a GM subsidiary), even though they neither need nor want them. Attempting to delete this option would immediately cause the car's performance to diminish by 50 percent or more. Moreover, GM would become a target for investigation by the Justice Department.

11. Every time GM introduced a new car, car buyers would have to learn to drive all over again because none of the controls would operate in the same manner as the old car.

12. You'd have to press the "start" button to turn the system off!

Posted by serialkillah on Apr-05-2002 09:16:

nice one

Posted by ExOn on Apr-05-2002 11:06:

Re: If GM Operated Like Microsoft

quote:
Originally posted by Gucio

9. Occasionally, for no reason whatsoever, you car would lock you out and refuse to let you in until you simultaneously lifted the door handle, turned the key and grabbed hold of the antenna.

ROFLMAO!!! That was hilarious!

Posted by Nightmonger on Apr-06-2002 15:35:

Haha good laugh!

Posted by Drifter on Apr-07-2002 04:12:

go one

Posted by OtakuCat on Apr-14-2002 01:32:

hehe that was amusing

Posted by elena on Apr-14-2002 05:40:

hehe witty!

Posted by OrZonE on Apr-14-2002 22:43:

Nice find, funny too

Posted by nrjizer on Apr-14-2002 22:59:

very funny, but also very true

Posted by DJ Teknique on Apr-15-2002 03:06:

Re: If GM Operated Like Microsoft

quote:
Originally posted by Gucio
cars that got 1,000 miles to the gallon."

i like that

Posted by Sandman on Apr-15-2002 17:25:

OMG...SO TRUE....

I'm going to mail this to my friends!~!!

Sandman

Posted by webmeister on Apr-16-2002 14:42:

LOL
Good one

Not sure if it's true though, I've seen this a few times in the last 1-2 years...

Posted by Spyder on Apr-25-2002 00:05:

NICe.... SWEEETTT ASSs..... LOL