TranceAddict Forums (www.tranceaddict.com/forums)
- Canada - Montreal
-- Bored ? Joke thread ! (make it work safe)
Bored ? Joke thread ! (make it work safe)
A little boy wanted $100 very badly and prayed for weeks, but nothing happened. Then he decided to write God a letter requesting the $100.
When the postal authorities received the letter addressed to God, Canada, they decided to send it to the Prime Minister. Steven Harper was so amused that he instructed his secretary to send the little boy a $5 bill. Harper thought this would appear to be a lot of money to a little boy.
The little boy was delighted with the $5 bill and sat down to write a thank-you note to God, which read:
"Dear God: Thank you very much for sending the money, however, I noticed that for some reason you sent it through Ottawa, and those assholes deducted $95 in taxes."
Joke for arabs:
Bill Gates decides to organize an enormous session of recruitment for a
new chairman for Microsoft Europe. The 5000 candidates are all assembled
in a large room. One of the candidates is Fadi Khoury, a Lebanese guy.
Bill Gates thanks all the candidates for coming and asks that all those who do not
know JAVA program language rise and leave. 2000 people rise and leave the room.
Fadi Khoury says to himself
- 'I do not know this language but what have I got to lose if I stay? I'll give it a try'.
Bill Gates asks all the candidates that those who have never had experience of team management of more than 100 people rise and leave. 2000 people rise and leave the room. Fadi Khoury says to himself
- 'I have never managed anybody but myself but what have I got to lose if I stay? What can happen to me'? So he stays.
Then Bill Gates asks all the candidates who do not have excellent management diplomas to rise and leave. 500 people rise and leave the room.
Fadi Khoury says to himself
- 'I left school at 15 but what have I got to lose if I stay? So he stays in the room.
Lastly, Bill Gates asks all of the candidates who do not speak the Serbo-Croat language to rise and leave. 498 people rise and leave the room. Fadi Khoury says himself
- 'I do not speak Serbo-Croat but what the 'Hell! - Have I got anything to lose?'
So he stays in the room.
He finds himself alone with one other candidate - everyone else has gone.
Bill Gates joins them and says: 'Apparently you are the only two candidates who speak Serbo-Croatian, so I'd now like to hear you both have a little conversation in that language!
Calmly Fadi turns to the other candidate and says to him:
'Keifak ya eir'...
Translation : What's up dick ?
The other candidate answers: 'Kol khara ya manyouk'
Translation : Eat shit you fag
Check out this video:
I-Rack
wow this video is soooo funny...
And now ''the iRan'' 
A blind man walks into a restaurant and sits down. The waiter, who is also the owner, walks up to the blind man and hands him a menu.
"I'm sorry, sir, but I am blind and can't read the menu. Just bring me a dirty fork from a previous customer. I'll smell it and order from there."-said the blind man.
A little confused, the owner walks over to the dirty dish pile and picks up a greasy fork. He returns to the blind man's table and hands it to him. The blind man puts the fork to his nose and takes in a deep breath. "Ah, yes, that's what I'll have -- meatloaf and mashed potatoes."
Unbelievable, the owner thinks
as he walks towards the kitchen. The cook happens to be the owner's wife. He tells her what had just happened. The blind man eats his meal and leaves.
Several days later, the blind man returns and the owner mistakenly brings him a menu again. "Sir, remember me? I'm the blind man." -said the blind man.
"I'm sorry, I didn't recognize you. I'll go get you a dirty fork."-apologizes the owner. He then retrieves a dirty fork and brings it to the blind man.
After another deep breath, the blind man says, "That smells great. I'll take the macaroni and cheese with broccoli."
Walking away in disbelief, the owner thinks the blind man is screwing around with him and tells his wife that the next time the blind man comes in he's going to test him.
The blind man eats and leaves.
He returns the following week, but this time the owner sees him coming and runs to the kitchen. He tells his wife, "Mary, rub this fork on your panties before I take it to the blind man."
Mary complies and hands her husband the fork. As the blind man walks in and sits down, the owner is ready and waiting.
"Good afternoon, sir, this time I remembered you and I already have the fork ready for you."- greeted he.
The blind man puts the fork to his nose, takes a deep whiff, and says, "Hey I didn't know that Mary worked here..."
| quote: |
| Originally posted by Wisnia Check out this video: I-Rack |
b0ring. 
Q: What's green and smells like pork?
A: Kermit's fingers.
Paix.
Q. what is funnier than AIDS ?
A. this thread. 
Cat walks into a bar
cat says "Hey man, can i get some catnip"
bartender "wtf you can't talk. you're a cat"
cat: ohh.
| quote: |
| Originally posted by Allied Nations Cat walks into a bar cat says "Hey man, can i get some catnip" bartender "wtf you can't talk. you're a cat" cat: ohh. |
you tired Greg ?
| quote: |
| Originally posted by Allied Nations Cat walks into a bar cat says "Hey man, can i get some catnip" bartender "wtf you can't talk. you're a cat" cat: ohh. |
| quote: |
| Originally posted by Omega_M Man, you take bad jokes from COR and post them here. |
| quote: |
| Originally posted by Allied Nations Your point? |
)
Stop being so lazy.
by posting that i got 2 of the funniest posts in the thread.
my work here is done.
| quote: |
| Originally posted by Omega_M Man, you take bad jokes from COR and post them here. |
got this in my email today
| quote: |
| A tour bus driver is driving with a bus load of seniors down a highway when he is tapped on his shoulder by a little old lady. She offers him a handful of peanuts, which he gratefully munches up. After about 15 minutes, she taps him on his shoulder again and she hands him another handful of peanuts. She repeats this gesture about five more times. When she is about to hand him another batch again, he asks the little old lady, why don't you eat the peanuts yourself? "We can't chew them because we've no teeth", she replied. The puzzled driver asks, "Why do you buy them then?" The old lady replied,? "We just love the chocolate around them." It pays to be careful around old people. |
Combien de Fran�ais faut-il pour d�fendre Paris?
- On ne sait pas, ils n'ont jamais essay�
EDIT FOR GREG :
How many frenchies do you need to defend Paris ?
- We don't know, they never tried
| quote: |
| Originally posted by Paulr Combien de Fran�ais faut-il pour d�fendre Paris? - On ne sait pas, ils n'ont jamais essay� EDIT FOR GREG : How many frenchies do you need to defend Paris ? - We don't know, they never tried |
hahahaha love that selma hahahahaha
Powered by: vBulletin
Copyright © 2000-2021, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.