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Posted by dj_mdma on Apr-05-2002 23:37:

Jokes!

After a long night buying a foxy women drinks, Joe took advantage by giving her a ride home. After the walk to the door, the women asked Joe in for a nightcap...

One thing led to another ....After making love Joe rolled over, pulled out a cigarette from his jeans and searched for his lighter.

Unable to find it, Joe asked the girl if she had one at hand.

"There might be some matches in the top drawer.", she said.

He opened the drawer of the bedside table and found a box of matches sitting neatly on top of a framed picture of another man. Naturally, Joe began to worry.

"Is this your husband?" he inquired nervously. "No, silly," she replied, snuggling up to him.

"Your boyfriend then?" he asked. "No, not at all," she said, nibbling away at his ear.

"Well, who is he then?" demanded Joe bewildered.

Calmly, the girl replied, "That's me before the operation."

Posted by dj_mdma on Apr-05-2002 23:38:

another one!

Three women were sitting in a bar, (burnette,red head, and a blonde)they were all pregnant.
The burnette says, "I know what I'm going to have." The other to asked how. She replied, "well I was on top when I concieved so i will have a boy".

The red head said, "If that is true then I will have a girl because I was on the bottom when I concieved.

The blonde starts crying and orders another shot and starts screaming, "PUPPIES, PUPPIES!".

LOLOLOLOL

Posted by Spyder on Apr-06-2002 03:26:

I liked the first one.. hehe that was good lmao

Posted by Dmatrox on Apr-06-2002 03:43:

Yeah i liked the first one it was funny. I love it when jokes make a complete 360 in the end.

I dont quite get the 2nd one.

Posted by OrZonE on Apr-06-2002 04:41:

Doggy style

Posted by oDrori on Apr-06-2002 06:09:

A brunette and a blond are standing in an elevator and suddenly a man comes in and turns to face the door... Elevator up... while they're on their way, the blond looks at the mans are and whispers "Look, he has so many dandruffs (Is that how this friggin word's spelled)"
"Yeah, someone should give him Head& Shoulders", answers the brunnete...
After a minute of deep thinking and pondering... the blond asks "I don't understand, how do you give shoulders?"

Posted by dj_mdma on Apr-06-2002 10:15:

quote:
Originally posted by oDrori
After a minute of deep thinking and pondering... the blond asks "I don't understand, how do you give shoulders?"

LOLOL

Posted by G K Murray on Apr-06-2002 11:03:

First one gets first PRIZE!!!

Posted by Nightmonger on Apr-06-2002 15:05:

*LOL* Nice ones!
My favourite is oDrori's

Posted by Drifter on Apr-07-2002 04:04:

the first one is great

Posted by ExOn on Apr-07-2002 06:20:

oDrori's LOL!!!

Posted by ExOn on Apr-07-2002 06:24:

Here's one!

A knockout young lady decided she wanted to get rich quick, so she proceeded to find herself a rich 75-year-old man, planning to screw him to death on their wedding night.

The courtship and wedding went off without any problem, in spite of the half-century age difference. The first night of her honeymoon, she got undressed, and waited for him to come out of the bathroom to come to bed.

When he emerged, however, he had nothing on except a condom to cover a twelve-inch erection, and was carrying a pair of earplugs and a pair of nose plugs.

Fearing her plan had gone desperately amiss, she asked, "What are those for?"

The elderly groom replied, "There are two things I can't stand: the sound of a woman screaming, and the smell of burning rubber."

Posted by Sadmafioso on Apr-07-2002 17:39:

LOL!!! EXON HAHAHAHA

Posted by Nightmonger on Apr-07-2002 18:53:

*LMAO* @ Dj_ExOn! Your joke is awesome!!!

Posted by D_G on Apr-07-2002 18:59:

There are 3 blondes walking along and they come to a river...

''hmmm'' they think, ''how are we gonna get over this river''

Unknown to them they are stood directly under a woshing tree...

The first blonde says ''oh, i wish i was 10 times smarter...then i could figur out how to get across this river''

The tree grants her wish...she turns into a red head and uses a tree branche to swing across with...

The secind blonde says ''oh i wish i was 50 times smarter'' and the tree grants her wish and she gets across the river...

The last blande says ''i wish i was 100 times smarter'' and the tree turns her into a man and she uses the bridge

[Dan]

Posted by Nightmonger on Apr-07-2002 19:04:

Haha, D_G's funny too!

Posted by NY1004 on Apr-08-2002 03:49:

I think the first joke is a fear for most guys. HAHAHAAH.