This was written by a guy... it's pretty damn smart.

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-- This was written by a guy... it's pretty damn smart.

Posted by Chris Crossland on Mar-26-2007 13:25:

This was written by a guy... it's pretty damn smart.

Got this from a buddy at work, thought i would share.

Always have a back-up plan!

This was written by a guy... it's pretty damn smart.

I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women differ so much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing.
I have
never figured out why men think with their head and women with their heart.

FOR EXAMPLE:

One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into bed.

Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says, "I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me."

I said, "WHAT??!! What was that?!"

So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to hear...

"You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man."

She responded to my puzzled look by saying, "Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?"

Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep.

The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to take, so I told her we'd just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said, "Lets get a pair for eachoutfit."

We went on to the jewellery department where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings. Let me tell you... she was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis.

I think I threw her for a loop when I said, "That's fine, honey."
Shewas
almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement.

Smiling with excited anticipation, she finally said, "I think this is all dear, let's go to the cashier."

I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No honey, I don't feel like it."

Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled, "WHAT?"

I then said, "Honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while.

You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman."

And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added,"Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?"

Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either....but at least that bitch knows I'm smarter than her.

Posted by Taranis on Mar-26-2007 13:26:

Haha, that's awsome.

Posted by Ivand on Mar-26-2007 13:36:

older than jesus, still pretty good

Posted by KilldaDJ on Mar-26-2007 14:22:

i loled

Posted by StanVoid on Mar-26-2007 14:26:

damn right

Posted by noikeee on Mar-26-2007 14:40:

quote:
Originally posted by Ivand
older than jesus, still pretty good

yep.

Posted by spiflicated on Mar-26-2007 15:25:

lmao

Posted by Amduscias on Mar-26-2007 15:41:

Posted by ASFSE on Mar-26-2007 16:28:

Posted by weymouth on Mar-26-2007 16:49:

as long as I read this like every 4 or 5 years it seems like it's new to me until I get to the end and realize...I read this like 3 times before.

Posted by djsphere on Mar-26-2007 19:44:

pwned

Posted by XoxidE on Mar-26-2007 19:49:

gahahananan niiice!

Posted by Zoso on Mar-26-2007 19:50:

Is it too late to return the bracelet I purchased for a full refund?

Posted by Psiweaver on Mar-26-2007 19:55:

This is old but its definately good.

Posted by iammesol on Mar-26-2007 20:06:

0wnage.

Posted by AndreaCKY772 on Mar-26-2007 20:47:

as SOON as i read about the shopping, i KNEW what was going to happen.

lovely...