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- Canada - Toronto & Southern Ont.
-- ::New Ontario Drivers Handbook::

::New Ontario Drivers Handbook::

1. Turn signals give away your next move. Confident Ontario drivers avoid using them.

2. Under no circumstance should you maintain a safe distance between you and the car in front of you, because the space will be filled in by somebody else, putting you in an even more dangerous situation.

3. The faster you drive through a red light, the less of a chance you have of getting hit.

4. Warning! Never come to a complete stop at a stop sign. No one
expects it and it will result in your being rear-ended.

5. Never get in the way of an older car that needs extensive
bodywork, especially with Quebec or Maritime plates. With no
insurance, the other operator has nothing to lose.

6. Braking is to be done as hard and late as possible to ensure that
the brake pedal violently pulsates. For those of you without ABS,it's a chance to strengthen your leg muscles.

7. Never pass on the left when you can pass on the right. It's a
good way to prepare other drivers entering the highway.

8. Speed limits are arbitrary figures; given only as a suggestion and are not enforceable in Ontario during rush hour, especially in the GTA.

9. Just because you're in the left lane and have no room to
speed up or move over doesn't mean that an Ontario driver flashing his
high beams behind you doesn't think he can go faster in your spot.

10. Always brake and rubberneck when you see an accident or even someone changing a tire. This is seen as a sign of respect for the victim.

11. Learn to swerve abruptly without signaling. Ontario is the home
of high-speed slalom-driving . . thanks to the Department of Public
Works, which puts pot-holes in key locations to test drivers' reflexes and keep them alert.

12. It is tradition in Ontario to honk your horn at cars in front of
you that do not move within three milliseconds of the light turning
green.

13. To avoid injury in the event of a collision or rollover, it
isimportant to exit your vehicle through the windshield right away.
Wearing your seat belt will only impede your hi-velocity escape from danger.

14. Remember that the goal of every Ontario driver is to get ahead of the pack by whatever means necessary.

15. In Ontario, 'flipping the bird' is considered a polite salute. This gesture should always be returned.

Thank You
The Ontario Registrar of Motor Vehicles

Re: ::New Ontario Drivers Handbook::

quote:

Originally posted by Turntabulls 9. Just because you're in the left lane and have no room to speed up or move over doesn't mean that an Ontario driver flashing his high beams behind you doesn't think he can go faster in your spot.

one of my pet peeve's..if you see a car coming up on you and your in the left most lane, move your ass over, thanks. (or else you get the high beam)

is this really the new handbook... sounds like the history of Ontario driving over the past 2 decades at least

Re: ::New Ontario Drivers Handbook::

quote:

Originally posted by Turntabulls 11. Learn to swerve abruptly without signaling. Ontario is the home of high-speed slalom-driving . . thanks to the Department of Public Works, which puts pot-holes in key locations to test drivers' reflexes and keep them alert.

Hahah I like this one.

This was in the newspaper ages ago. I still have the article lol

I dunno....but I absoutely HATE driving in Toronto. Everyone drives so friggin slow...and actually stop completely at ALL stop signs and yellow lights!

But then, when I'm on the 401, people are going like 150+ in the fast lane! I usually go 130...which I find fast enough (well, fast enough not to get a huge ticket) and people always drive up my ass like i'm going 90

What I like about Montreal drivers is that even though we all drive like idiots, its organized chaos...traffic just moves more quickly. Sure, we'll make u-turns in the middle of the street with no signals, or just weave around like maniacs, but at least we move our asses!

quote:

Originally posted by Soundwerks I dunno....but I absoutely HATE driving in Toronto. Everyone drives so friggin slow...and actually stop completely at ALL stop signs and yellow lights! But then, when I'm on the 401, people are going like 150+ in the fast lane! I usually go 130...which I find fast enough (well, fast enough not to get a huge ticket) and people always drive up my ass like i'm going 90 What I like about Montreal drivers is that even though we all drive like idiots, its organized chaos...traffic just moves more quickly. Sure, we'll make u-turns in the middle of the street with no signals, or just weave around like maniacs, but at least we move our asses!

In the city, yes, and I got a ticket for not making a full stop at a stop sign a couple of months ago, cuz I was driving like a Montrealer.

We pwn3 the highways (except at rushour or when there's some ahole in the fast lane who doesn't understand the courtesy 'Montreal beam flash' to get out of the way)

Agree with you 100% on your last paragraph.

Re: ::New Ontario Drivers Handbook::

quote:

Originally posted by Turntabulls 14. Remember that the goal of every Ontario driver is to get ahead of the pack by whatever means necessary.

...with the only limit being the performance of your engine.

Montreal traffic moves faster than Toronto traffic? Riiight. What, do you think none of us have ever driven in Montreal, or are you just assuming we don't remember waiting for the light to turn 7 times before finally making it through, and idiots making sharp enough turns to rip the paint right off our bumpers?

P.S. This joke/article is seriously old. Even before it was written for Toronto (which was years ago) it existed for other cities in the world.

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