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-- Who Handles Break-Ups Better?
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Who Handles Break-Ups Better?
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| Some relationships end with fighting. Some end with crying. Some end with sex. Some end with verbal insults (or dishes) being thrown at sound-barrier-breaking speeds. Whatever the case, break-ups can be uglier than some Dancing with the Stars performances. Let's face it: some relationships aren't meant to be, so a break-up averts a bigger disaster. So when the Love Boat hits the iceberg, who handles it better? My answer: Women. Several studies show that men experience more depression, distress, and anxiety after break-ups than women do. Men might like to come across as being tougher than overcooked steak after a breakup, but the truth is that they're actually more the consistency of jelly. Believe me-I see the letters of hundreds of men desperate for advice on how to win their ex back. Here's why some men come undone during a breakup: Men Mask Their Pain When a guy is dumped, his first reaction is: I'll show her. How he sometimes does it: With a couple pitchers and a night out with the guys. In fact, 26 percent of men say that the dumped party should get drunk with the guys after a break-up, according to a Men's Health online survey. But those beer swillers are actually in the minority: 36 percent say a guy should look at his new ex, smile, and thank her. The thing is, both of those reactions are exactly the same thing-masks for their true feelings. They can't deal with being hurt, or angry, or bummed. It's not until after they get past their initial reaction that men actually mourn the loss of the relationship. Women are more likely to cry soon after the breakup, and they're also more likely to use straight talk when ending a relationship, studies find. So women face their relationship blues head on, and get them out of their systems earlier. Many men tend to repress their reaction, so it lingers like basement mold. Men Have Fewer Friends One of the reasons why women can get over sour relationships faster than the guys they breaks up with is that women have an amazing network of people to latch on to. Research indicates that men depend on romantic relationships for emotional intimacy and social support, whereas women are more likely to turn to family and female friends to satisfy those needs. Mothers, sisters, friends, hairdressers, cabbies, whoever-the more times she tells the story about what a jerk he was, the better she's going to feel. A man, on the other hand, stays corked. Often he shrugs off a break-up with a shoulder shrug, shoots a Jager shot, and tries to convince himself that he's not upset. That is, until about six months later, at 1AM after the fourth pitcher, when he confesses to his buds that all he ever wanted is for Janelle to take him back. Men Hate Starting Over After the break-up, a man may feel an initial surge of excitement of future prospects-the women he's yet to meet. But after three, four, or two dozen dates, he realizes that it's going to take a long time to reach the level of comfort he had with his ex. Research conducted at Carnegie Mellon University suggests that women adjust better to the end of a relationship because they've already given consideration to the possibility of a break-up, whereas men are typically unprepared for it. While that sense of emotional security can't be the only reason to stay together, it also makes him realize that he was very lucky to have a woman like her. Meanwhile, she's already moved on. And perhaps the only time he lets his guard down enough to admit the emotional truth is when he's drunk dialing her. And that's too little, way too late. Men Idealize the Dating Game Many breakups are a knee-jerk reaction to what men perceive as stagnation: He's bored with the same restaurants, the same petty arguments, the repetitive sex. Once he's back on the prowl, he thinks, he'll be bedding 10s and living the high life. After the break-up, however, he quickly realizes that the singles scene isn't all champagne and half-naked strangers--it's work. Instead of the exciting bar scene, he finds that he misses the intimacy of his past relationship. Studies show that women consistently outscore men on measures of social, sexual, and intellectual intimacy--and women are often quicker than men to realize that intimacy provides the foundation of a lasting relationship, not the sexual thrills. |
I agree.
Girls are pretty used to breaking up i think, usually guys break up with girls and not the other way around. This could explain why girls have more partners then guys maybe? or how they like to lower the number of men they were with instead of guys usually trying to increase that number. It takes longer for a man to fall in love with a girl than the other way around (i find anyways) since females are usually more vocal with their emotions off the bat. Once a guy does get attached and he loses her it would be harder for him to get that comfort level back. Sure you can bang that girl after 10 beers, prostitute or stripper but its not the same and he will realise this. Girls have an easier time to attach to guys i find since its easier for them to hook line and sink someone their intrested in. MAYBE?
anyways thats my jist of it.
Don't believe a word Yahoo! says! They get paid to type this shit!
girls definately girls and NRG i think its the women who do the majority of breaking up not the guys
guys- they are sooks when they get dumped
hmm well based on all of that, i'm pretty much like a guy in breakups. lol
i mean, i deal with them alright i guess. i'm pretty good at moving on, meaning, i won't try to keep in contact or act desperate and call them or whatever, i pretty much cut all ties and stay busy and focus on other things in my life.
but my recent breakup was kind of like how that article described. i didn't mourn the relationship right away, i just swept it under the rug and put on a smile and then i had like a breakdown a few months later. it was weird.
In my own experience, I'd tend to agree that Men deal with it harder - but that's pretty much only because I've only experienced it as a man 
In all seriousness though, I've had a couple crushing breakups, and they really did ruin me for a long time afterwards. I was a whiney emo pussy for a good long time.
i agree with that.
its easier for women to find another bloke than it is for the bloke to find another woman.
i go through break-ups pretty well... it's the resulting STDs that i can't handle.
i think guys in general get over it easier...
It all depends on the relationship and who wears the pants. Usually whoever wears the pants will deal with it better.
I agree with the article where it says that most women have prepared for the idea of the breakup, whereas guys are more shocked when it happens.
You women have this crazy tendency to fucking blindside the shit out of us, and it can be pretty devastating, and take a LONG time to recover from.
If you can't tell, I've had the rug swept out from under me more than once.
I've always been the long term relationship type of guy. And yeah, 4 months ago after my 3-year, it's been rough. I went through a lot of what's in that article. My mind tells me to enjoy the single life, but I miss all that comfort and low stress.
She was 13 yrs younger than I and women in their 30s just aren't what I feel.
I need a gf who's last name doesn't end with .jpg
i mean if there's no chance the relationship's going to work it should be pretty easy to let go. i just got out of my first real relationship but i'm not really crying about it. just wasn't going to work.
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| Originally posted by CrazedOut Don't believe a word Yahoo! says! They get paid to type this shit! |
You really can't generalize with things like this, but for me at least, that was pretty much spot on. Probably the main reason why I'm so reluctant to get into any kind of relationship with women nowadays. Bad experiences make you bitter in the long run.
i think it makes sense what it says...
I think it depends on the breakup and how it happened.
Most relationships fail because there is another man or women in the picture so it's not that hard finding someone else.
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| Originally posted by Frenchie Most relationships fail because there is another man or women in the picture so it's not that hard finding someone else. |
i agree.
i've gone through 2 big breakups, but in both situations i was the one who wanted to end the relationship, so maybe that's what made it easier for me.
with my first boyfriend, i can't even count the number of times we broke up and then got back together over the span of 5 years. i don't think either of us really wanted it to end most of the time, but it finally got to a point where what we were doing was just so ridiculous, and i think both of us knew the breakup was inevitable. after we broke up we actually still chilled and stayed friends... and he wasn't crushed until i told him i met someone new and that it was getting serious. i think he always hoped in the back of his mind that we'd get back together.
then the other one, i broke up with him after a year of being together because i was falling in love with a guy who was a really good friend, and he flipped the fuck out. definitely one of the worst experiences i've ever had to deal with.
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| Originally posted by l�cid i agree. i've gone through 2 big breakups, but in both situations i was the one who wanted to end the relationship, so maybe that's what made it easier for me. with my first boyfriend, i can't even count the number of times we broke up and then got back together over the span of 5 years. i don't think either of us really wanted it to end most of the time, but it finally got to a point where what we were doing was just so ridiculous, and i think both of us knew the breakup was inevitable. after we broke up we actually still chilled and stayed friends... and he wasn't crushed until i told him i met someone new and that it was getting serious. i think he always hoped in the back of his mind that we'd get back together. then the other one, i broke up with him after a year of being together because i was falling in love with a guy who was a really good friend, and he flipped the fuck out. definitely one of the worst experiences i've ever had to deal with. |
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| Originally posted by Aristronica HEY! Fembot opinions don't count. GTFO! |
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| Originally posted by l�cid you broke my heart, Denys. |
iv had 3 real real gf's
1 time... i was moving so we had to break up.. it wasnt any fighting that brought this, i was hurt... but ok
2nd time... i got dumped.. oh man the feeling of "i wish i could havce her back" talk about a mindfuck... i was depressed for like a month. like they say, food doesnt taste the same, nothing feels worth doing etc.
3rd time... i was like "ehhh i dont think this is gonna work" i felt great and we remained friends.
i guess depends on what kind of breakup is what i am saying.
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| Originally posted by l�cid so uhhhh, RJT.. please don't dump me, or i'll fucking ban you. |
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