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Moments that have shaped your "current self"
As we live, we choose and act accordingly. And, as we do it, we (unconsciously) define and choose who we want to be. We might choose not to lie because we don't want to become a liar (even if no one else finds out), instead of not lying just because "it is wrong" (although this idea is often embedded in most people's concept of why they don't want to be liars anyway).
Do you agree with this way of thinking? If you do, what moments do you think have defined your current self? Don't worry if your post becomes too long, I'm really looking forward to reading your stories 
Personally, I think there are 3 major events in my life that have been crucial:
pull the birds. God, I hated that.
Kay, so what would Jesus do?... I waited for the DJ to drop some killer drum'n'bass and started bouncing around the dancefloor. Had I decided to end my relationship right there, I would've seen myself both as a cheater and as a quitter, running away from my girlfriend instead of solving our issues.
Lira, we're lucky, you see? Sure, we can just chill out here and enjoy this good life whenever we want, but we're also part of a small part of the world population that has access to higher education, computers, imported books and stuff that isn't being pushed down our throats by the country's biggest TV channels. What are you going to do with this opportunity? Will you keep it all to yourself, or will you do something for a change?. I remember I just replied,
Well, mate, what would Jesus do? I reckon I'd do that, yeah— since then, I've started to study harder and harder (although I've always been a bit nerdy), trying to share what I study in some way (since last semester, my friends and I have organised "clandestine lectures", for example, and I decided to become a teacher/professor).
Somehow, the nuns didn't quite appreciate the fact that I spent most of my religious classes talking about Buddhism whether or not Jesus had really existed. However, in that same year, I had decided to join the Military School and, once again, there I was, studying as hard as a 8 year old can study, so I could pass the entrance test. I ended up having Gastritis at very tender age, losing most of my friends and, for the first time in my life, I achieved something I'm proud of.
Why can't I highlight your quotation marks?
Not exactly three exact points in time...but the three most "shaping" points of my life.
1. Getting into a great engineering school...and completely hating it I got into the school of my "dreams" ala the University of Illinois to study computer engineering. It was a great school for engineering and I thought my "life was set." However, I quickly learned that I absolutely hated everything about it. I struggled on for three years, not even thinking I should change what I was doing. Finally I had enough, and I decided that I'd switch back to what I had wanted to do since I was a kid, but was talked out of by my parents; medicine. It took a change of schools and a master's degree to overcome by piss-poor engineering grades, but I'm in med school now and I love it.
2. Being a "club kid" I've since calmed way down from the peak of my clubbing days, but towards the end of my period as a regular clubber I met the woman that eventually became my wife. We met at a Christopher Lawrence show and it was all class (as opposed to other girls I met at shows). No making out on the dance floor, no hook up that night, just a night of hot, sweaty dancing followed by a phone number exchange and dates to follow. If I hadn't loved trance and dancing, I'd have never met her.
3. My time in Italy I was lucky enough to be born into an Italian family, so I've been fortunate to either visit or live there on eight separate occasions. Besides learning another language, I think it's helped to broaden my horizons and learn how the rest of the world works. I think many Americans are trapped in the US bubble and never get to interact with or learn how others think. I know there have been many instances where I've been able to see without the "US blinders" on, where others that I know haven't.
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| Originally posted by Sunsnail Why can't I highlight your quotation marks? |
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| Originally posted by NeoPhono Not exactly three exact points in time...but the three most "shaping" points of my life. 1. Getting into a great engineering school...and completely hating it I got into the school of my "dreams" ala the University of Illinois to study computer engineering... |
being in & out of central booking like 6 times for stupid shit, mainly weed & suspended license... you really learn to appreciate freedom once it gets taken away from you...
seeing my friend come out of jail [upstate] after doin 2 - 4.... dude has turned his life around and became a new person.. we were both fuck ups and i was sent to the motherland for 2yrs and he got locked up.. then we both met up when we returned to NYC... way he changed himself was inspiring for me..
growing up soaked in hop hop culture... hip hop isnt something you do, its something you are.. from the art, music, & dancing down to the attitude and the way you carry yourself.. believing in your craft and knowing how to rock it without sacrifice.
clubbing @ twilo... i was lucky enough to be a part of the legend that was twilo.. i used to stand on the main speaker nearest to the dj booth and just observe the pro jocks do their thing, learned alot about the critical elements in djing dance music and the techicality behind it. and twilo overall was just a magical place, you had the breakers, glowstickers, dancers and causal party ppl all under one roof without a single problem every fri. let alone the talent that used to come thru there.
my ex gf.... lived with her for 4yrs and tho i can look at it as a waste of time, what i really gained from it was being able to understand how female mind works [in general] and has really helped me become much more of a patient person. plus to take abortions more seriously..
meeting my current gf... met her @ a rave both on pills and it proved that meeting someone under the influence at a party CAN lead to something more serious and its been that way for 6yrs. best thing to ever happened to me shes like a light that guides no matter how corny that may sound.
aaaaand.. losing my father at a very young age.... ive learned to become a man on my own without any role models or father figures [im an only child] my mom did the best she can to raise me right but she can never replace the role of a father, so im pretty proud of that fact.. i understood when 2Pac says "i finally understand for a woman it aint easy tryin to raise a man...."
few samples yo
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| Originally posted by Omega_M Are you talking about UIUC ? That's one fine engineering school |
i don't have much shape do I?
The main "defining moments" of my life that I can think of all involve being cheated on.
Teaches you a LOT, IMO.
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| Originally posted by david.michael The main "defining moments" of my life that I can think of all involve being cheated on. Teaches you a LOT, IMO. |
Teaches you to be careful who you trust, that everybody lies, not to allow yourself to be a doormat, that nothing is ever what it seems, and that you never truly know anyone. Amongst other things, but I won't allow myself to be at liberty to discuss them.
edit - can teach you distrust, but can also make you stronger... not to sound cliche.
Great thread, Lira.
Hmmm...
1. Meeting Serge (aka RaverSurge) (1997): I know some of you will find this extremely amusing what with Serge being made fun of on the boards. Fortunately for me, I was in 7th grade at the time (as was he). At the time, I was a stuck-up, serious kid who borderlined emo status. That was all until this "other Russian boy" transferred into my middle school. I heard small things about him from some of my (few, few) friends but was simply appalled (for some odd reason) by his behavior when I first had the displeasure of seeing him. "He's giving the few Russian kids that go to this school district a bad name" is what I thought to myself. Oddly enough, it was gaming that brought us together. Found out one day that he was much into it and from there we became really close friends. If I never met Serge, I would have remained uptight and stingy; He really showed me that it was okay to NOT grow up and to care much less about things that normally negatively affected me, mentally and physically (basically, destroy your self esteem). We're still really close friends and for that I'm glad.
2. My father purchasing a NES (Nintendo Entertainment System) (1990): Less than a year into our lives in the US, my father decided to purchase this "new" technology (to us, at least). Little did I know, gaming would become my safe haven in the decade+ to come. From there, it became a hobby (later on an addiction but no longer so) as I picked up game after new game. Then new consoles started appearing on the scene and I just HAD to get them.
Gaming has helped me in 3 ways: 1) It was an escape from everything. I'd lose myself in the software and have myself a great time. 2) My hand-eye coordination has become really good over the years. So have my puzzle-solving skills. 3) The people I've met along the way. Some of you guys and girls are the most fascinating folks I've come to know. What better reason than this?
3. Breaking up with my girlfriend (2005): I loved her, I did. I didn't know at the time (cuz I was still looking for "proof" that I felt that way for her. That I should take this relationship past the first year and beyond) but I know now and that's pretty much all that matters. I'll always have some amount of "love" love for her, no matter the time passed. It's just impossible to not get that dull pain in your chest if you ever happen to hear her name, see a picture, remember a memory, etc...
Subconsciously, I knew that if I remained with her, I'd have remained back home during the college year; It would have made my day being able to see her whenever I wanted. Unfortunately, that was hindering my academic career. At home, I was getting lazy and my grades were suffering. After I broke up with her, I still longed to be with her (I really do miss her friendship) but I knew that that was pretty much impossible. Still, my grades are doing great now. I've met a lot of people at my college since and so I can't totally regret separating with her.
(Some of you might read the last one as an "excuse" but I'm just going to go ahead and say that I really cared about her. I don't think there's a right or wrong decision in that case.)
Thanks for reading, if you did!
isn't that sort of something you should already know? I knew people were scum ever since i got ripped off on my first magic card trade at grade 2.
but isn't the point of love to ignore that and let yourself trust someone?
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| Originally posted by beats and beeps but isn't the point of love to ignore that and let yourself trust someone? |
This thead is soooo emo. -, -,
ive never been cheated on because i have insanely good judgement.
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| Originally posted by beats and beeps ive never been cheated on because i have insanely good judgement. |
no no, the correct answer is im a virgin and have never even had a girlfriend!
The days following the death of my mom's uncle. Went from grieving to finding out she was on his will and receiving a nice little fortune. I could've easily lived off this money without work for at least 2 years but chose not to. I don't know what I'd do without a career , I love to work. Also finding out my ex's past the hard way. I thought I was gonna marry this bitch but at least I learned a good lesson in return. Most women are whores by nature and will try their best to create an illusion when in a relationship.
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| Originally posted by beats and beeps no no, the correct answer is im a virgin and have never even had a girlfriend! |
I was lost in the middle of the woods, and I had no idea what to do, so I asked what would the Japanese embassy do? And then a cat in the shape of a giant bus came along and rescued me.
Well that's the hope anyway...
- My first serious relationship. The whole thing shaped me in an enormous way.
I learned how to love, and enjoy life with someone. I learned how to compromise when it counts. I learned about what I should look for when things start going wrong. I learned what it felt like to be betrayed in the worst way, and I learned what my limits are. I learned that I am worth more than I may have thought at one point, and I learned that I deserve a certain level of respect, comfort, love, and trust from those who claim they love me. I learned that I should never rush into things, and never let my heart take the lead 100%. I learned that experimenting is good, but I also learned that there is a thin line that can easily be crossed. I know where that line is, and I know how not to stumble past it again. I know what it is like to feel more hurt and pain than I am willing to admit. I know what to do to stop myself from ever experiencing that again. I know now the incredible importance of maintaining friendships... strong ones. I know when to give up on something or someone when it is no longer worth my time. I know how strong I can be, and even more, how brave I can be. I know I have a backbone, and courage, and I know how to use them.
I could go on all day. That relationship was the cause of some of the most defining things about me, some of the greatest lessons learned. I could easily look back on it and be bitter about having wasted three years of my life with someone who made me feel more miserable than I like to admit. But I don't. It was a massive learning experience, and I am grateful for it because I think it has made me a better woman.
-Moving out at the age of 17.
I really learned how to be responsible, how to fend for myself. I learned what it was like to suffer, and I learned about the importance of having people who love and care about you around to help you out when you're down. I learned how much my family mean to me. I learned how to move on from things I no longer want to be involved in. I have learned how to manage my life better. I have learned to be appreciative of what I have, even when it isn't much, because I know what it's like to have nothing.
Those two points are about a million points combined. I have had a lot of moments that have helped me define who I am. I have had a lot of experiences that have shaped the life I live now. Those were just the big block headers with a lot of things that came about because of them.
hmmmmmmm lets think
1. Music; incl. Rave, Hardcore, House, Trance, Drum & Bass, Euro
Basically music is something I grew up with. I wasn't classically trained and my parents didn't teach me to play piano aged 3 like half of these trance producers claim to be, I was just exposed to a lot of music, from the 60s, 70s and as i grew up the 80s. As 1990 approached I got a tape for xmas with disco & rave songs on and I never looked back. I surrounded myself by sounds which played with my senses and intrigued me. While everyone else was into guns & roses, I was borrowing rave event tapes from fantasia, hacienda, the edge and other clubs from my friends older brother. It formed the backbone of my current musical knowledge and tastes and has always been there when I've needed it to be.
2. My grandparents input
They say traits skip a generation, well I hope so because having parents who were never totally bothered, I was lucky enough to have 2 grandparents who have and would do anything for me. From going out on trips to zoos and theme parks to teaching me lots of skills, I've got the majority of it through my grandparents. What they've done for me is invaluable and I couldn't ever thank them enough.
3. falling ill aged 16
When I was just finishing school, I was quite sick for a long time & struggled to finish properly. Coming away with poor grades and a lack of belief, I changed from the person I was into someone else. It wasn't a good thing back then but 12 months later I got a computer with a modem & talked my dad into letting me online. When I did, I met a couple of people early on who have become close friends and who gave me so much as a person to help me become who I am now, to express myself, to believe that I have a future and to basically survive. While a lot of things have been bad since then, having these friends, and other ones I've met along the way too, has given me the feeling of being human and I wouldn't swap a single one of those people for anything. I don't talk to or get on with some of those people now, but they don't realise how much I appreciated what they did for me. Maybe they never will.
4. meeting my first gf
Who'd like someone like me? Well one person did at least. We spent nearly 2 years together and are still friends 6 years on. She both taught & gave me a lot and I appreciate what she did.
5. The 10 special people
Meeting maybe 10 people who I rely on. Some I'm attracted to, others are like my left leg or backbone, all provide me with friendship, above the level of anyone else. I love them all for that
Re: Moments that have shaped your "current self"
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| Originally posted by Lira [*]Choosing Japanese Language as my major (2003): No, I don't think Jesus would've done this. At first, I just wanted to study languages (and linguistics) and the Japanese embassy seemed to offer a lot of support to the students of this language. I still haven't grasped how this "shaped" the way people see me, but it seems to have had quite an impact, because I often hear some very strange things every now and then  [/list] Your turn now, I'd love to hear your stories 1 I don't know where the other schools mentioned in the Wikipedia article are. I only saw one school there. |
Eating breakfast & lunch today.
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