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Posted by RandomGirl on Aug-26-2007 00:00:

I need to send teh lettar!

Background story:

Alright, so my cousin is turning 40 next month.
My other cousin (his brother), and his mom (my aunt,) have recruited everyone who knows him to write a nice little blurb of some sort that is supposed to be somehow sentimental. A memory or some shite like that.

Wellllllll, I said I would send something (I mean, he IS my cousin,) however, I am a little stuck. I barely know this guy. He lives in Alberta, so I NEVER see him, and have probably only been in his presence a total of 10 times in my whole life. I have no memories of him at all.

Not to mention, I don't know a lot of 40 year olds... I don't know a lot of people who have turned 40, and have never turned 40 myself.

ANNNND to top it all off, my creative reservoir is running empty.

So dear COR, please help me!!

Any ideas on what I write to a cousin turning 40, who I barely know?

BTW, it isn't like you have any less info on him than I do. Seriously, that is how much I DON'T know the guy.

HELP!!

Posted by Ygrene on Aug-26-2007 00:03:

Just write: 'Lordy, Lordy look who's forty! ZING!'

Good to go!

Posted by Ripped Bag on Aug-26-2007 00:03:

Ask him if he ever stuck a finger in his bean hole. Or if he would like for you to.

Posted by squirrelly on Aug-26-2007 00:05:

quote:
Originally posted by Ygrene
Just write: 'Lordy, Lordy look who's forty! ZING!'

Good to go!

lol, I so saw you doing the good to go taco bell hand movement in my head.

Posted by RandomGirl on Aug-26-2007 00:05:

quote:
Originally posted by Ygrene
Just write: 'Lordy, Lordy look who's forty! ZING!'

Good to go!

I lolled.

quote:
Originally posted by Ripped Bag
Ask him if he ever stuck a finger in his bean hole. Or if he would like for you to.

There is so much wrong with that on so many levels, I don't even know where to begin.

On a side note, I should probably mention that he is very Christian, so... uhhh, Christian safe advice would be nice

Posted by Frenchie on Aug-26-2007 00:06:

stick with the basics without going overboard.

-I don't get to see yo as often as I should blablabla, you're a great person with a good heart blablaba, I hear nothing but good things about you and one day I hope I can experience this for myself. some more blalabla, have a great birthday and hope the next 40 years were as good as the last 40. Happy birthday , dear cousin.

yay.

Posted by Omega_Blue on Aug-26-2007 00:08:

quote:
Originally posted by Ygrene
Just write: 'Lordy, Lordy look who's forty! ZING!'

Good to go!

Posted by RandomGirl on Aug-26-2007 00:09:

quote:
Originally posted by Frenchie
stick with the basics without going overboard.

-I don't get to see yo as often as I should blablabla, you're a great person with a good heart blablaba, I hear nothing but good things about you and one day I hope I can experience this for myself. some more blalabla, have a great birthday and hope the next 40 years were as good as the last 40. Happy birthday , dear cousin.

yay.

My favourite part of that was "some more blablabla".

I think I will write that into my letter.

LOL!!

I was thinking of going along that road too, but it feels so fabricated and cheesy.

*sigh*

Posted by Ripped Bag on Aug-26-2007 00:10:

He has to get his prostate looked at.. its a joke he should get.

Posted by Omega_Blue on Aug-26-2007 00:10:

quote:
Originally posted by Theresa
My favourite part of that was "some more blablabla".

I think I will write that into my letter.

LOL!!

I was thinking of going along that road too, but it feels so fabricated and cheesy.

*sigh*

yeah, don't lie to the guy. i wouldn't have volunteered if i didn't know him.

Posted by Frenchie on Aug-26-2007 00:11:

Well cheesy and fabricated works when you don't know someone and haven't shared any moments to reflect back on. It's nice, short, simple and effective just like your relationship/time with him has been so far.

Posted by squirrelly on Aug-26-2007 00:11:

why do you care if it's cheesy? you never see the guy, what's it matter.

personally i hate getting cards/letters from family members i don't talk to.

Posted by Frenchie on Aug-26-2007 00:12:

quote:
Originally posted by squirrelly
why do you care if it's cheesy? you never see the guy, what's it matter.

personally i hate getting cards/letters from family members i don't talk to.

does it make you feel like they only sent it because they "had" to? I feel the same way. " You sent it because you had to but when it comes to the other 364 days of the year you don't give a rats ass"

Posted by RandomGirl on Aug-26-2007 00:13:

Would it be crossing the line to totally make fun of him for being old?

For example:

Happy 40th Birthday!

Wow, 40!?!? I didn't realize you were getting to be so old :P

Bah, what am I saying? Forty isn't old...

...if you're a tree!

LOL!

Ok, ok, I'll be nice.

----> This is the beginning of what I've written so far, and the tree line... I stole it from google.

I am just tempted to copy what Frenchie wrote and fill in the blanks. LOL!

Posted by SuspicionVandit on Aug-26-2007 00:13:

"happy birthday. C 2007 hallmark.com"

Posted by Cipha Sounds on Aug-26-2007 00:13:

Just send him a letter letting him know you've been thinking about him and that you wish you had the time to get to know him better. Don't lick the envelope, rub it against your vagina, seal it and send. The end.

Posted by squirrelly on Aug-26-2007 00:14:

yea it takes me a hot minute to even remember who they are. i have to squint my eyes and think hard until i get one of those "OOOOOOOOOOH!!!" moments.

Posted by RandomGirl on Aug-26-2007 00:19:

quote:
Originally posted by squirrelly
yea it takes me a hot minute to even remember who they are. i have to squint my eyes and think hard until i get one of those "OOOOOOOOOOH!!!" moments.

LOL isn't that terrible.

You get a letter in the mail...

"Love Dorothy"

"Who the fuck is Dorothy?"

*ponders for a couple of days*

*calls mom*

"Mom, who is Dorothy?"

"Do you mean your great Aunt Dorothy twice removed on your Grandmothers side?"

"Ummm, yea?"

"Yea, what about her?"

Yeesh

I think at a certain point, people should no longer be classified as "family".

If they are not a first of something, (first cousin, first aunt etc.), then they don't count. Too bad for you.

Posted by Lira on Aug-26-2007 00:19:

Tell him a story about the ages of men! How men are growing in their teens, they create their world in their twenties and conquer it in their thirties... and... and... I don't know what the forties are for

Posted by squirrelly on Aug-26-2007 00:21:

lol

I just remembered something I saw in a bookstore once. The cover was "sex after 40".

I opened up the book...

all the pages were blank

Posted by Lira on Aug-26-2007 00:27:

"Forty" is the word for strong in Portuguese... If that helps

Posted by RandomGirl on Aug-26-2007 00:31:

quote:
Originally posted by Lira
"Forty" is the word for strong in Portuguese... If that helps

Really???

Hmmm, how could I use that?

Posted by Lira on Aug-26-2007 00:37:

quote:
Originally posted by Theresa
Really???

Hmmm, how could I use that?

Erm...

"Forty is the age in which we become more mature, and stronger. I believe it's more than a coincidence that, in languages like Portuguese and French, the word for strong actually sounds like forty. To say 'John, és forte'* in Portuguese means 'John, you're strong'. And you've always proved to be a strong person, John, doing your best in this tough life. I mean, living in Alberta must be kinda tough. What do you guys do there?"

Heh

*should sound like "John is for-tuh"

Posted by winston on Aug-26-2007 00:49:

Posted by Spacey Orange on Aug-26-2007 00:54:

Dear Cousin,

I have always longed that you tear my dress apart, fiber by fiber with your teeth, and do things to me only a whore would allow. I have vowed that I would wait until you were at least 40 before I reveal this to you. Now that this day has arrived, I anxiously wait for you.

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