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Insecurity, self-esteem and post-modern life

I had never really noticed the contradictions about insecurity in our culture until Insecurity (the TA) posted about the origin of his screen name. According to him, men in chat rooms usually choose flattering names conveying the impression that everyone in there was powerful, strong or dominant (which is kind of ironic, if you think about what sort of people you usually find in chat rooms). So, in order to stand out, he chose to do the exact opposite. Personally, I believe it takes a lot more confidence to label yourself as being "insecure" than the opposite, and once I did that, I've had positive results overall. We can be totally secure about anything, as Kierkegaard seems to show in his ideas about dread, so why bother pretending not to be insecure?

As soon as I embraced this "insecure way of life", I instantly realised that all those around me were also insecure, from university professors to teenage girls (and I also noticed that the latter are often a lot more interesting than the former, but this is something else entirely). But, because our culture frowns upon insecurity, people seem to resort to very strange "defence mechanisms", such as being self-righteous, arrogant and judgemental. Either this makes life a lot more difficult or I'm having problems seeing the advantages of doing that.

We live in a postmodern world (or, at least, influenced by it), in which metanarratives have been contested, disputed and made fun of. So, do we need this ideal "secure self"? Why do some people avoid looking insecure if that's part of the human condition?

so if I get this right
you used to be a normal person, but then one day decided to look at the world in an insecure way?
now you go into work or out for the night feeling insecure about yourself so that you get positive feedback?

I don't think the "post-modern" world forces anyone to hide insecurity
If someone knows traits of insecurity, they can easily find them in people

Also, finding insecurity in any sort of teenager is not a big accomplishment
but in a professor that is a different story considering he has many years of research and study, a well paying job, high intellect, and hopefully a hot "trophy" wife
so to find his insecurities I would be more interested in hearing about

Re: Insecurity, self-esteem and post-modern life

quote:

Originally posted by Lira Why do some people avoid looking insecure if that's part of the human condition?

I would relate it to animals instinct to hide injuries, as they show their inability to hunt, defend themselves, and possibly make a poor mate.

I think insecurity could be looked at like an injury. The person feels a lack of ability to meet certain needs and takes steps to cover that up. In this case, it's adopting traits that others may view as strengths. Thus giving the perception that are clearly capable individuals.

Just my take on it.

I wouldn't go as far as saying that embracing insecurity was a good idea, but realising your faults that you could be insecure about allows you to try and better them.

A person can alter almost anything about themselves if they really try, and from a non-physical aspect, we have no reason not to.

Re: Re: Insecurity, self-esteem and post-modern life

quote:

Originally posted by Ygrene I would relate it to animals instinct to hide injuries, as they show their inability to hunt, defend themselves, and possibly make a poor mate. I think insecurity could be looked at like an injury. The person feels a lack of ability to meet certain needs and takes steps to cover that up. In this case, it's adopting traits that others may view as strengths. Thus giving the perception that are clearly capable individuals. Just my take on it.

More or less that, imo. Insecurity viewed as (and is, arguably) a fairly significant character weakness, and people try to hide it up to prevent people perceiving them this way.

I think it's probably something better delt with and come to terms with than covered up, personally.

But why would I label myself as insecure if I'm truly not? I don't agree with that at all.

Because the society wants us to be strong and competitive. I believe there is a strong social dogma that says we should never show our weaknesses or express our feelings in a exaggerated way so we couldn't be disadvantaged. It may have something to do with the insticts Will mentioned; it's probably some mixture of current social conditions (which are aiming for the max. achievement possible) and natural collective unconsciousness.

Something I've realized is that people in general are always in competition with eachother, and men are especially in competition with other men. It's like we're stuck in this perpetual neverending dick measuring contest. In that context it's best not to show any emotions or insecurities that could be interpreted as weaknesses by your adversaries. And I suppose some people overcompensate for those things in an attempt to make themselves look stronger, but end up achieving the opposite.

I do not think that that showing or embracing weaknesses equals insecurity.

quote:

Originally posted by jennypie I do not think that that showing or embracing weaknesses equals insecurity.

You're insecure when you're afraid to show them and mask it with something else.

quote:

Originally posted by paulandrews You're insecure when you're afraid to show them and mask it with something else.

Yes, that I agree with. I mean, duh, lol.

quote:

Originally posted by jennypie Yes, that I agree with. I mean, duh, lol.

Has anyone said otherwise? Just don't know who you're arguing with

quote:

Originally posted by paulandrews Has anyone said otherwise? Just don't know who you're arguing with

It seems like Lira did. ?


Either way, I don't agree with his first post at all.

this thread is way to deep for the COR

The COR should be like the movie the core..its literally digging deep..but it really isnt.

social programming is a bitch and hinders us from realizing our full potential.

Re: Insecurity, self-esteem and post-modern life

quote:

Originally posted by Lira from university professors to teenage girls (and I also noticed that the latter are often a lot more interesting than the former, but this is something else entirely).

i fully disagree here!!!




and dude, you are waaaaaayyyy too secure about your insecurities. And I use the defense mechanism of humor to deal with mine

quote:

Originally posted by eRRaTiK social programming is a bitch and hinders us from realizing our full potential.

*Stares at clock for the next hour trying to make the second hand move backwards*

quote:

Originally posted by kr00t0n *Stares at clock for the next hour trying to make the second hand move backwards*

but ...



... there is no spoon.

just a different method of compensation. there are other options.

well, humble people tend to be respected more (at least by me). i think a lot of insecure people try to compensate by appearing too confident...


i don't like over-secure people. i had a friend who loved to brag about how much money he makes, brag about his car, his "model-hot" girl that he dumped, his job and his looks. i know damn well he is an insecure person...you can just tell. the way he carries on is so obnoxious.

i dealt with this other guy who pretended to be my friend ttry and get me andf break up with my bf. he was like "you wouldn't date ME? do you KNOW how many hot girls i get?" blah blah blah... more moronic claims. well if that is the case, then go to those hot girls because i'm not interested.

as for me, in high school i used to be rather insecure about my looks. but now, i don't even worry about it. what's the point of me being insecure? it's stressful and i can only be who i am. what's the point of coveting another? we shouldn't have to be insecure. i was reading an article where the column author said that women are in competition with each other. i just don't think it should be this way...

quote:

Originally posted by AndreaCKY772 well, humble people tend to be respected more (at least by me). i think a lot of insecure people try to compensate by appearing too confident... i don't like over-secure people. i had a friend who loved to brag about how much money he makes, brag about his car, his "model-hot" girl that he dumped, his job and his looks. i know damn well he is an insecure person...you can just tell. the way he carries on is so obnoxious.

Insecure people go from one extreme to the next, some big up themselves non-stop, some belittle themselves non-stop.

The most secure people don't mention how secure or insecure they are in the first place.

quote:

Originally posted by eRRaTiK social programming is a bitch and hinders us from realizing our full potential.

Re: Insecurity, self-esteem and post-modern life

quote:

Originally posted by Lira We live in a postmodern world (or, at least, influenced by it), in which metanarratives have been contested, disputed and made fun of. So, do we need this ideal "secure self"? Why do some people avoid looking insecure if that's part of the human condition?

It is defined and controlled completely by women.

The basic male/female relationship is one of Predator (male), Prey (female). Except that the the female chooses when she wants to be caught. And in choosing that she chooses the characteristics that she wants in a hunter.

Put simply, 'insecurity is a big turn off' to women. They define 'confidence' as a primary characteristic that interests them in hunters.

Their game, their rules... Let's check my photobucket for my Technicolour Dreamcoat....

Image One:

Image Two:


or if you prefer video

quote:

Originally posted by kr00t0n Insecure people go from one extreme to the next, some big up themselves non-stop, some belittle themselves non-stop. The most secure people don't mention how secure or insecure they are in the first place.

i agree with this, especially the latter part. i think the "one extreme to the next" part tends to happen often, but i'm not sure as a whole.

Re: Insecurity, self-esteem and post-modern life

quote:

Originally posted by Lira I had never really noticed the contradictions about insecurity in our culture until Insecurity (the TA) posted about the origin of his screen name. According to him, men in chat rooms usually choose flattering names conveying the impression that everyone in there was powerful, strong or dominant (which is kind of ironic, if you think about what sort of people you usually find in chat rooms). So, in order to stand out, he chose to do the exact opposite. Personally, I believe it takes a lot more confidence to label yourself as being "insecure" than the opposite, and once I did that, I've had positive results overall. We can be totally secure about anything, as Kierkegaard seems to show in his ideas about dread, so why bother pretending not to be insecure? As soon as I embraced this "insecure way of life", I instantly realised that all those around me were also insecure, from university professors to teenage girls (and I also noticed that the latter are often a lot more interesting than the former, but this is something else entirely). But, because our culture frowns upon insecurity, people seem to resort to very strange "defence mechanisms", such as being self-righteous, arrogant and judgemental. Either this makes life a lot more difficult or I'm having problems seeing the advantages of doing that. We live in a postmodern world (or, at least, influenced by it), in which metanarratives have been contested, disputed and made fun of. So, do we need this ideal "secure self"? Why do some people avoid looking insecure if that's part of the human condition?

i think our insecurities hold us back. obviously everyone has them, helping us mask them is what helps us move foward and live our lives the way we want them to.


now i dont know what type of insecurities you are talking about, or just insecurities in general.
for example:

if you are insecure about your looks, and you think they are holding you back, you might want to modify it so that it doesnt hold you back. say the way you dress, etc.

maybe im not getting the point across i am trying to say.....

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