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Worst Situation to have to Take a Big Dump
What's the worst situation/place where you've had to take an enormous anally expanding (or liquifying) shit????
How about during a road test - how do you tell the instructor you have a massive turtle head poking out and need to destroy the nearest washroom?????
Lets hear your shitty stories! 
I took the hugest shit at school a couple years ago (or it was last year), in one of the busiest washrooms...and of course I picked the toilet that didn't flush.
So before anyone else came in I switched to the stall next to me to finish up, leaving my turd behind.
The next chick that came in the bathroom looked in my old stall where I left the hugest, most menacing shit ever, and I heard her gasp with horror and disgust.
It was everything I could do not to laugh, lol.
hahaha wtf kinda thread is this.
when i gotta go i just go. why wait untill you cant hold it in anymore.
This year at the warped tour. I must have eaten something bad the night before. I fuckin hate using portapotties to shit...on top of the huge line. 12 hours of upset stomach, with the urge to go every hour and a half.
| quote: |
| Originally posted by L.E.N. This year at the warped tour. I must have eaten something bad the night before. I fuckin hate using portapotties to shit...on top of the huge line. 12 hours of upset stomach, with the urge to go every hour and a half. |
| quote: |
| Originally posted by L.E.N. This year at the warped tour. I must have eaten something bad the night before. I fuckin hate using portapotties to shit...on top of the huge line. 12 hours of upset stomach, with the urge to go every hour and a half. |
| quote: |
| Originally posted by Halcyon+On+On I'd shit my brains out in disgust if I had to hang out at the Warped Tour for 12 hours, too. |
Punk is dead imo 
It went with God, New Coke, and Monster In My Pocket to a magical land of dead things that people still wish were around. Well, maybe not New Coke. Nobody misses that.
If Punk *does* still live, it went electronic. Kind of like Rome. Not that Rome went electronic, it's just that some people hold that Rome "died" when all it really did was move to Constantinople. See what I mean. Good, you'd be the first. 
Pennywise and bad religion were great..thats who I went to see as well as Flogging Molly and Tiger Army. All good stuff IMO. I will say the rest was pretty much crap.
One time I was walking home from school and had to shit really REALLY bad. So half way through my walk I started this sort of hop-jog thing. I couldn't actually jog for several reasons: 1) I was sort of out of shape 2) I had this backpack that weighed easily 30 pounds and 3) I had to shit, if I had attempted an actual jog it would have just come streaming down my leg.
So anyway, I'm at the end of my block now and I can feel the turtle head poking out so I say "fuck it" and drop my backpack and run full speed toward my house. I get to the front door and the pressure of shitting my pants has hit me hard, I'm fumbling in my pocket for my keys and I drop them several times on the floor before finally getting the door open. I think I'm home free but OH NO the alarm went off! I'm standing in front of the alarm box frantically trying to hit the code to deactivate it. I get that done (seemed like I was standing there for 10 mins in a cold sweat trying to remember the easiest code on the planet) and head for the can. But it was too late, as soon as I stepped foot in the bathroom I shit myself 
During sex. Once during a k hole adventure i was in the middle of the act and had to take a dump really really bad but didnt want to stop. I actually sharted myself. The next morning I saw the stain on my sheets, called her a pig and made her leave. K....short for kaka.
UHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!
UHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
UHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!
this isn't a big dump story but i think it would fit well in this thread. this happened last month
I normally park my car in the parking lot @ the gym, but i decided to park on the street. After I finished working out with my friend, I sarcastically say to him, "parking in the lot is for losers, parking on the street is for champions". I was really going to eat my words for saying that.
So I make my way to my car, start the car up, and start driving. Everything is ok, for now. I arrive at the stop sign down the block, notice that the coast is clear, so I attempt to go into first gear and make a right turn. I'm having a hard time changing gears because my foot is slipping off the clutch pedal and it's really frustrating! I eventually get it into gear and go on my way. Shifting gears is still annoying because my foot is slipping off the clutch.
Then I notice a very distinct smell.
No, it couldn't be what I think it is. I pull over to see wtf is going on. Why is my clutch being so difficult and wtf is that damn awful smell? I turn on the interior lights and I notice that the clutch pedal is smeared with some dark stuff. I then examine my shoe and it's the same dark stuff. Oh god, I stepped in dogcrap while walking to my car.
I almost throw up and I'm now making gagging noises. I have no idea wtf I'm supposed to do now. I can't knock on some random stranger's house nearby and ask them to help me clean up my crap-smeared pedals and crap-smeared shoes. I'm about 2 miles away from home so I say, screw it. I engage my crap-smeared clutch pedal with my crap-smeared shoe and floor it. I'm still making gagging noises because the smell is god-awful. I'm forced to put down the windows in 30 degree weather so I don't throw up. So now I'm freezing and dying from the smell of dogcrap. I'm going 55 in a 25 just to make it home.
Anyway, I eventually make it home. I don't know how the hell I would have explained myself if I were to get pulled over by a cop. Turns out my floormat got crap on it too so I had to clean that as well. good times!
worst place i ever took a shit at:
TEMPTATIONS in Seaside Hghts, New Jersey
| quote: |
| Originally posted by bas One time I was walking home from school and had to shit really REALLY bad. So half way through my walk I started this sort of hop-jog thing. I couldn't actually jog for several reasons: 1) I was sort of out of shape 2) I had this backpack that weighed easily 30 pounds and 3) I had to shit, if I had attempted an actual jog it would have just come streaming down my leg. So anyway, I'm at the end of my block now and I can feel the turtle head poking out so I say "fuck it" and drop my backpack and run full speed toward my house. I get to the front door and the pressure of shitting my pants has hit me hard, I'm fumbling in my pocket for my keys and I drop them several times on the floor before finally getting the door open. I think I'm home free but OH NO the alarm went off! I'm standing in front of the alarm box frantically trying to hit the code to deactivate it. I get that done (seemed like I was standing there for 10 mins in a cold sweat trying to remember the easiest code on the planet) and head for the can. But it was too late, as soon as I stepped foot in the bathroom I shit myself |
| quote: |
| Originally posted by callme:gsmile . |
| quote: |
| Originally posted by Halcyon+On+On ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhahahaha whaaaaaaaaaaat the fuck Some stories you are supposed to keep to yourself. We can hold this against you forever now. |
I used to go to cricket practice every morning a couple of years back, and the field was miles away from a toilet. Urge to shit came so suddenly, I had no time to run anywhere. Luckily I was the first one there, and crapped right next to the boundary line which afforded a bit of tree cover.
Quickest job ever.
| quote: |
| Originally posted by Lebezniatnikov shitting yourself in the bathroom, now THAT is irony! |
| quote: |
| Originally posted by Lebezniatnikov hahahahahaha yeah I'm cracking up! shitting yourself in the bathroom, now THAT is irony! |
i lifted this from another forum
| quote: |
| about three years i found myself in mexico on holiday but unfortunately came down with some rancid intestinal affliction. despite this, my mate somehow convinced me to go out with him to pick up some chicks at a senor frogs. after pounding a few, we hooked up with some chicks and decided to go to an afterparty. before we could go, i was overcome with stomach pains and, what i believed at the time, was some incredible amount of flatulence. i should have gone home, but the beer had screwed up my judgment. so we took off riding around the city and i started to shart. this was no ordinary shart though. i could feel the squishy crap in my underpants and it began to soak through. the car started to smell quickly, so lit a smoke, but it didn't have any effect; everyone was coming on to my predicament. they started to say that it smelled like shit and that it was the guy from san francisco. after a while we finally went to some mentally handicapped girl's house because another guy that we were with wanted a quickie with her. after a couple of minutes there i excused myself to go to the restroom and stuffed my then soiled underpants under that poor girls toilet tank's cover. i hope that in no way, this story stains my reputation |
I absolutely hate needing to take a massive shit at a concert. People waiting to use the stall you are in is so damn annoying. Just let me take a shit in peace and stop knocking on the fucking stall door.
| quote: |
| Originally posted by bas One time I was walking home from school and had to shit really REALLY bad. So half way through my walk I started this sort of hop-jog thing. I couldn't actually jog for several reasons: 1) I was sort of out of shape 2) I had this backpack that weighed easily 30 pounds and 3) I had to shit, if I had attempted an actual jog it would have just come streaming down my leg. So anyway, I'm at the end of my block now and I can feel the turtle head poking out so I say "fuck it" and drop my backpack and run full speed toward my house. I get to the front door and the pressure of shitting my pants has hit me hard, I'm fumbling in my pocket for my keys and I drop them several times on the floor before finally getting the door open. I think I'm home free but OH NO the alarm went off! I'm standing in front of the alarm box frantically trying to hit the code to deactivate it. I get that done (seemed like I was standing there for 10 mins in a cold sweat trying to remember the easiest code on the planet) and head for the can. But it was too late, as soon as I stepped foot in the bathroom I shit myself |
worst was on scout camp, aged 11 when there was no paper in this campsites' cubicle so i had to use my underpants, luckily the door was lockable on the main block so i used some hot water with them, ripped them into pieces and got to wipe clean & back to my tent to put a new pair on.
Other than that, i've done the bas thing 3 times except made it each time, but wondered how i'd done so. the relief was major.
| quote: |
| Originally posted by iammesol But wait, I was still alone and lost in a foreign country |
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