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Wake up call

This will likely be deleted but I hope that it reaches some of you and at least starts a bit of a debate among some of you.

I'm a former tranceaddict with a new name...

I frequented Guv, CZ and other spots depending on which DJ's were playing where.

The recent CZ raid made me think of my former (and fairly recent) life as a "partier" and thought MAYBE I could get through to even ONE of you out there. I'm mainly talking to you older partiers that just can't let go, grow up as a person (I don't mean that in an insulting way AT ALL), and accept your life beyond "the scene".

I did it and my life has never been better.

As much as it might be difficult for some of you to realize, you are in a downward spiral. I too didn't realize it while I was part of "the scene". My career was BIG TIME slipping (school AND career). I was doing graduate work and it almost fell apart on me.

I have family that went from being "at the top", well respected and doing well in life (happy and financially secure) and it DID fall apart completely for her. Totally hit the bottom of the barrel and is starting over completely.

Ask yourself these questions: I'm mainly targeting the "old partiers".

1. When I go out, am I one of the oldest people in the room?

2. Am I over thirty and most of my friends are in their early to mid 20's?

3. Are most of my friends that ARE my age unemployed, working crap jobs or have unrealistic goals (like "I want to be an actor... but have no training etc...)

4. Am I slowly losing my "old friends"?

5. Am I having a difficult time making ends meet?

6. Am I REALLY happy?

7. Are my friends REALLY my friends (can I have a conversation about anything other than when the next time Tiesto comes to town)?

8. Am I periodically DEPRESSED? The reason you're depressed is because that's what ecstacy withdrawl does to you... especially 3-4 days after your last dose...

9. Do I need drugs to have fun? (or can I party "sober"). If you can't party sober, then it isn't "actually" fun...


I could go on but I'm sure by now you get my point. If you are pushing 30 or already well into your thirties, this is your WAKE UP CALL.

Get with it. Break the cycle. Get some new friends and find some REAL happiness.

Cheers and good luck.

Re: Wake up call

crazytown.

? huh ?

Alas, the only thing more annoying than someone telling you to quit that has never done it, is someone who has done it and then quit.

You are right Wurm. You really are. And that's going to be the view from the majority of people on these forums. I accept that.

And let's be clear that I don't think I'm "better" than anyone (which is probably what some might think).

But many people will actually agree deep down.

I know a few that I used to party with, some of them prominent and well known tranceaddict members that will look at themselves in the mirror and see that they've got more lines on their face, a few less hairs on their head than they used to have and say..... hmmmm....

I look at the recent photos from recent events and it's all the same people.... Same 'ol same 'ol.

It's difficlult to see really. Some really great people!!! that will wake up some day (some of them 32 or 33 right now...) and realize that they're pushing 40 and haven't really grown..

I don't regret anything I've done. I have great, even amazing memories but I got out when the time was right and feel fortunate to have gotten out at the right time.

I'm just trying to help those at that RIPE old age... see that maybe it's time for them as well.

This isn't directed to "the youngsters". Go ahead, have fun but always keep your eye on the future.

I think many people have to ask themselves what their exit plan is.

Do they want to be the oldest person in the room?

Can they tail off gradually? It can be done.

Most need to break from things because it becomes a larger part of their lives than it should be.

quote:

Originally posted by nomore ...

Anytime one aspect of life becomes a detriment to other areas of life - something is amiss.

The problem comes about when one doesn't have the acuity to determine the impact of actions on their life; an inability to detect unbalance.

I think you post some interesting concepts that everybody (old and young alike) should evaluate. A gentle reminder is always valuable. Self-reflection and evaluation is critical.

Agreed and well put rabbitjoker. I'm just offering a forum for self-reflection. Thanks for your civility. I thought I might be TROUNCED on this issue! lol

I just don't want to come off as preachy or judgemental. I hope I haven't....

I just know that there are alot of people out there that just keep putting off "the last party"... tick tick tick. Time keeps a tick'in.

with all due respect, i think you mean "drug abusers" and not partiers.

I know lots of people that have been going out to raves and now clubs for 15, 20+ years(myself included), who have careers, homes, families etc and don't let clubbing interfer with their lives or bring them down. Most have moved on from drug use, but still enjoy going out on a regular basis.

obviously you were an irresponsible drug user and it caused severe problems in your life. I'm glad to hear you've got over it, but that doesn't mean that everyone that "parties" is in the same boat you were.

Does that mean my dad should think twice about a Led Zeppelin reunion.

quote:

Originally posted by activate with all due respect, i think you mean "drug abusers" and not partiers. I know lots of people that have been going out to raves and now clubs for 15, 20+ years(myself included), who have careers, homes, families etc and don't let clubbing interfer with their lives or bring them down. Most have moved on from drug use, but still enjoy going out on a regular basis. obviously you were an irresponsible drug user and it caused severe problems in your life. I'm glad to hear you've got over it, but that doesn't mean that everyone that "parties" is in the same boat you were.

Hey activate. I do actually mean drug abusers, not "partiers" but lets face it, in the majority of cases, partying goes hand-in-hand with doing drugs in that scene... I don't think there are many sober partiers at CZ at 5:00 in the morning... c'mon now... I've been there...

I do agree with you that there ARE "some" people out there that still love to party and do it sober (although it's a MINORITY) and it hasn't affected their lives in a negative way. Coudos to them. Much respect.

I was an "irresponsible drug user" (is there such a thing as a "responsible" drug user?) and it had the potential to cause some problems in my life. I saw the beginning signs of it. Fortunately, I quit on my 30th birthday. I tried partying sober but it just wasn't nearly as fun.

My message isn't to minority of sober partiers (what is it like 5-10% of the population?).

I WILL say though, that if you've got kids, maybe that's a sign to stay home, sober or not.

quote:

Originally posted by nomore I was an "irresponsible drug user" (is there such a thing as a "responsible" drug user?) and it had the potential to cause some problems in my life. I saw the beginning signs of it. Fortunately, I quit on my 30th birthday. I tried partying sober but it just wasn't nearly as fun.

IMO a responsibly drug user would be one that knows there limits and doesn't put drugs before life, family, friends... someone that doesn't use them on a regular basis.

if you couldn't have fun sober, then you clearly weren't into the scene for the music and dancing in the first place.. you were there to get high.


and I'm well aware that this scene pretty much revolves around drugs, whether they be legal or illegal. I've been going out for almost 15 years, and I'm defintely not ignorant to what goes on, but most people do know when to draw the line and don't let drugs control their lives.

Re: Wake up call

quote:

Originally posted by nomore Ask yourself these questions: I'm mainly targeting the "old partiers". 1. When I go out, am I one of the oldest people in the room? WHO CARES? 2. Am I over thirty and most of my friends are in their early to mid 20's? WHO CARES? 3. Are most of my friends that ARE my age unemployed, working crap jobs or have unrealistic goals (like "I want to be an actor... but have no training etc...) WHO CARES? 4. Am I slowly losing my "old friends"? UNRELATED TO CLUBBING, LIFE HAPPENS THAT WAY OFTEN 5. Am I having a difficult time making ends meet? UNRELATED TO CLUBBING, LIFE HAPPENS THAT WAY OFTEN 6. Am I REALLY happy? IS ANYONE IN THIS SOCIETY? REALLY? 7. Are my friends REALLY my friends (can I have a conversation about anything other than when the next time Tiesto comes to town)? [FRIENDS TEND TO BE FRIENDS BASED ON COMMON INTERESTS] 8. Am I periodically DEPRESSED? The reason you're depressed is because that's what ecstacy withdrawl does to you... especially 3-4 days after your last dose... OR IT COULD BE THE LONG WINTER? OR THE STRESS AT WORK? 9. Do I need drugs to have fun? (or can I party "sober"). If you can't party sober, then it isn't "actually" fun... Good question to ask yourself about booze as well. And fun is fun whether with or without. Each person makes their own fun in their own way I could go on but I'm sure by now you get my point. If you are pushing 30 or already well into your thirties, this is your WAKE UP CALL. DID YOU KNOW THAT MOST PEOPLE IN THE WORLD CONSIDER THEIR EARLY 30S TO BE IN THE MIDDLE OF THEIR CLUBBING LIFESPAN? WAKE UP FROM WHAT? IF YOU ARE HAVING A GOOD TIME ON WEEKENDS AND WORKING DURING THE WEEK THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH 30 SOMETHINGS TO GO OUT AND DO IT UP THE WAY THEY SEE FIT. WHAT YOU ARE SAYING IS THAT 30 SOMETHINGS SHOULD GET BEATEN DOWN AND FALL INTO THE TYPICAL NORTH AMERICAN LIFESTYLE OF WORKING LIKE A DOG, PAYING TAXES AND WATCHING RERUNS OF SURVIVOR. WHO ARE YOU TO ADVOCATE WHAT "FUN AND HAPPINESS IS?" Get with it. Break the cycle. Get some new friends and find some REAL happiness. OR CONTINUE THE WAY YOU ARE IF THAT TRULY MAKES YOU HAPPY NO MATTER WHAT OTHERS THINK Cheers and good luck.

This is where differing opinions are going to rage WIDELY. Some would say that once a week is OK, while other would say once a month, or once every two months.. or an Annual Party...

Myself, I guess I'd set a "cutoff" at once a year. I guess that would be "responsible". Take it as you will.

Thing is. The scene is dominated by early to late 20 somethings and there's a reason for that...

Just read the first post and see if you fall into that category. It's as simple as that. I understand that some people might get their back up against the wall and become defensive or lash out at me and my point of view. Maybe it's because they read the questions and can say "yes" to some of them.... and it's a moment of realization... denial....

or maybe they just think I'm FLAT OUT WRONG.

Either way, at least they are thinking and I'm OK with being wrong.

This debate is needed for SOME of you, not all of you.

Cheers.

Maxx-No More

I dunno why I did that one above... but anyhow.

Your point is well taken. But then people just need to think for themselves.

There always are people that are careful not to let partying to get in the way, and there's always a few that fail at recognizing when to stop...

What can you do, that's life. I do think that friends of "irresponsible" users should help out and try to pull their friends away from the scene if it's affecting the life of someone that much.. That's what friends are for.

quote:

Originally posted by Superstring Maxx-No More

LOL!!! Thanks for that! Hilarious.

A also agree with your above post. I just think that there might be some cases where your friends might be in the same boat as you and you might need to read a post like this one to "make you think". That's all.

a little bit of awareness never hurt to post - good stuff

i think if you're gonna get trounced on, it's for the most part people trying to justify their own behaviour (or just the regular anticipated and predictable internet bullies that troll and thrive here). i don't think this was meant to be an attack though, so i wouldn't take those too personally. and for the trouncers - if you can keep the balance, why the need to justify it on here? the actions speak for themselves. like the poster said, if they can reach out to one person who is floundering right now - this post served its purpose. lol, so much hate!

quote:

Originally posted by Irishaddict a little bit of awareness never hurt to post - good stuff i think if you're gonna get trounced on, it's for the most part people trying to justify their own behaviour (or just the regular anticipated and predictable internet bullies that troll and thrive here). i don't think this was meant to be an attack though, so i wouldn't take those too personally. and for the trouncers - if you can keep the balance, why the need to justify it on here? the actions speak for themselves. like the poster said, if they can reach out to one person who is floundering right now - this post served its purpose. lol, so much hate!

Hate makes you lol?

Anyways... The reason he's catching flak for the post isn't because of his view, but because he failed to acknowledge the opposing side as being in any way legitimate. He's demonizing those that don't agree with his outlook by saying they have to

"grow up as a person (I don't mean that in an insulting way AT ALL), and accept your life beyond "the scene". [how is that not insulting?]

That's why everyone feels the need to justify... because the post is obviosly a veiled attack. Seriously...I party so I need to grow up? Is this just illicit drugs or are we counting booze too?

Anyways... not trying to troll, just wanted to point out why the post is getting the reactions that it is.

quote:

Originally posted by nomore Thing is. The scene is dominated by early to late 20 somethings and there's a reason for that...

When was the last time you went out? Last time I looked around Guv or Zone everyone was at least 10 years older than me. I get shit all the time for going out and being so young.

Some of the best people I've met in this scene are near or in their 30s.. and they're far from out of control drug users with life issues.

quote:

Originally posted by Gen3r4l1ty Hate makes you lol? Anyways... The reason he's catching flak for the post isn't because of his view, but because he failed to acknowledge the opposing side as being in any way legitimate. He's demonizing those that don't agree with his outlook by saying they have to "grow up as a person (I don't mean that in an insulting way AT ALL), and accept your life beyond "the scene". [how is that not insulting?] That's why everyone feels the need to justify... because the post is obviosly a veiled attack. Seriously...I party so I need to grow up? Is this just illicit drugs or are we counting booze too? Anyways... not trying to troll, just wanted to point out why the post is getting the reactions that it is.

on here the hate makes me lol, cuz it's more often than not totally unneccessary.

see maybe i just didn't read it that way. he clearly said if his post reaches one person who is caught up in parties the wrong way that it has served its purpose. i don't even agree with all his criteria. i just think the overall message is more important. like i said - if you've found the balance, why the need to justify it here?

I've learned that with "opinions", you are almost always going to offend SOMEONE, no matter if you intended it or not.

quote:

Originally posted by Irishaddict if you've found the balance, why the need to justify it here?

Because it wasn't phrased that way by the OP. That's all. If you post a one sided opinion, then you have to expect the opponents to voice thier side. Thats just how forums work.

quote:

Originally posted by Gen3r4l1ty Because it wasn't phrased that way by the OP. That's all. If you post a one sided opinion, then you have to expect the opponents to voice thier side. Thats just how forums work.

ok gotcha. u win.

You shouldn't have posted anonymously. It only serves to diminish your credibility, as if you're afraid people won't take you seriously under your own name.

Having said that, those are some good points, particularly #3 and #7. Most of the people in the "scene" that I call friends either have things in common with me other than electronic music or have a particular chemistry. I sort of gave up on clubbing when it felt like it was getting harder and harder to meet those people, or maintain relationships with the ones I already knew.

Of course I still go out from time to time, and mean no disrespect to the people I haven't kept tabs on, but I think that the people you surround yourself with ultimately define who you are, and if you aren't proud of your friends then it's hard to be proud of yourself.

...And yeah, there's a lot of denial when it comes to the drugs, but that's how it always is with drugs.

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