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Posted by Swamper on May-14-2002 19:06:

Behold, my arse. How to talk to your child about oral sex.....

Taken from the Oprah Winfrey show:

Make your child aware of the long-term effects on his or her reputation and self-esteem.

Giving oral sex casually can lead to a bad reputation. It can also lead to poor self-esteem and untrustworthy relationships in the future.

Define "friend."

Children claiming that they are giving oral sex to "friends" need to define "friend." You should make sure your child understands: As Dr. Phil says, a friend is not someone who asks you to stick his penis in your mouth.

If your child is in a relationship

Explain the phrase, "If you loved me you would..." is not a reason to give oral sex. It is actually more of a reason to walk away and end the relationship.


Posted by flystyler on May-14-2002 19:09:

I am glad i dont understand that. Great so we have 5 year olds giving head, woppy. Lol.


Posted by drizzt81 on May-14-2002 19:16:

[rant]WTH!?!? why would anyone want to watch Oprah WHINEphrey at all.. if i had a little kid and it started sucking off the other peeps, I'd give him the good old 'Psychologically approved' spanking treatment! and the whole wash tounge with soap...

what should clean him/ her up! [/rant]


Posted by Great Outdoors on May-14-2002 19:43:

Swamper's gettin' all soapy lately..


Posted by Eugene on May-14-2002 19:57:

By the way guys, Oprah's wrappin' it up (her show, that is) in 2006.
Can't wait till that bitch goes the fuck away


Posted by davinox on May-14-2002 20:14:

Oral Sex =

Makes the world go 'round.


Posted by {b.s.e.} on May-14-2002 21:02:

i saw that for, like, 30 seconds; but i hate oprah, so i changed it quick as shit. i hate that woman. god i hate her.


Posted by Eugene on May-14-2002 21:42:

Thumbs down A male's point of view about OPRAH

"This isn't the first time Oprah has teased us. Sure, last week Oprah Winfrey announced that she's going to stop hosting her talk show in 2006, but she says this every so often, like the astronomers do about an asteroid heading toward the earth. But people actually read the articles about Oprah.

Men get hopeful each time, because for nearly two decades Oprah has brought us nothing but pain and heartache. Oprah is the opiate of the female masses, teaching them to build self-esteem by confronting the past and setting goals instead of feeling good the old-fashioned way: by having casual sex. She encourages women to look inside and "find their passion" without once entertaining the possibility that this passion might be fed with lots of sleeping around. Worse yet, she sets all these ridiculous expectations about reading once a month.

The whole idea of talking openly and sharing your feelings is antithetical to the good old-time values of emotional repression on which this country was founded. Plus, Oprah is way too self-satisfied with the common sense she hands out. The current issue of O magazine has an article on coping that suggests that you "make prioritizing a priority." There's also an awful lot of talk about angels. The only angels men want to see are in Victoria's Secret ads. And her solution to everything is telling you to tack a note to your mirror. Tacking a note to your mirror accomplishes nothing but blocking you from seeing your fat self.

Despite all the good things she may do for women's self-esteem, men can't help feeling about Oprah the same way that gold investors felt about William Jennings Bryan. She's just not looking out for our best interests. The only men who will suffer from Oprah not being on the air are Wally Lamb and Stedman Graham.

Besides, men are frustrated that we don't have our own Oprah. Ours are all embarrassing flameouts like Robert Bly, or the Promise Keepers, or Al Gore the week that Naomi Wolf made him wear flannel. The best we have right now are Adam Carolla and Jimmy Kimmel of The Man Show, and those guys wouldn't even be able to fill out their live audience if they didn't liberally sprinkle the studio with pole dancers.

I have absolutely no idea why women so wholly embrace Oprah's sanctimonious declarations of common sense. So I grabbed a Midwestern phone book and selected a woman at random, much the same way Larry King seems to select wives. The first person I reached was Lisa Davis of Des Moines, Iowa. After I explained that I really wasn't selling anything, I had a nice conversation with Lisa, a 42-year-old grandmother of two and cashier at Casey's General Store. Like many Americans, Davis gets her news from TIME, only this time she got it more directly than usual. "Oh, no!" she said when I told her Oprah is going off the air. "I love Oprah Winfrey. I watch her program daily." After calming her down ("2006 is a very long way away. I mean with terrorist threats the way they are, who knows if Des Moines will even be here then?"), Davis told me how much she likes both TIME and LIFE magazines. This was going to be a long call.

After breaking her heart yet again with the news that the monthly version of LIFE was folded two years ago ("Oh, no! So is it just TIME now?"), I asked Davis how she was going to fill the coming Oprah void. She said she guessed she would go to church more and get her spirituality that way. The last time the end of an entertainment program caused an uptick for the church was when the Romans canceled throwing Christians to the lions.

As for what she loves about Oprah, Davis talked about angels and being reminded of what's important in life and learning how to listen to others or something like that. I kind of tuned out around then. She said Oprah's show has helped, in particular, in communicating with her fiance. I asked her if all the Oprahisms she uses in talking about their relationship ever annoys him. "Oh, no, I don't tell him what she says," Davis said. "I just think about it and use it on him."

She said the best advice actually comes from Dr. Phil, the psychologist who is Oprah's Oprah. That's when I asked her if she was looking forward to Dr. Phil's new syndicated show in the fall. "Dr. Phil is getting his own show in the fall!" she yelled to her daughter in the next room. "There you go. That's what I'll be watching in 2006. Dr. Phil."

But the post-Oprah world will not offer a succession that simple. The reality is that the next daytime guru is very likely to be even more coddling and touchy-feely than Oprah herself. Remember when Phil Donahue seemed really threatening to masculinity? Before that Merv Griffin seemed like a wimp. Daytime talk-show hosts follow some reverse Darwinian law whereby they get less and less threatening every generation. The next daytime guru is going to be either Elmo or Tinky Winky."


Posted by davinox on May-14-2002 21:48:

That was from Joel Stein, and yes it's very true.


Posted by whiskers on May-14-2002 22:36:

Question

who the hell is Oprah Win-what-the-fuck-ever???


Posted by lMIlk on May-14-2002 22:56:

i watched that show alot on tv, there are a lot of women there


Posted by eye_03 on May-14-2002 23:17:

Jester

do u ever notice how oprah's wieght fluctuates so much..( while were on the topic of oprah)...




Posted by vito on May-14-2002 23:26:

oprah....


Posted by Tranex02 on May-14-2002 23:26:

quote:
Originally posted by eye_03
do u ever notice how oprah's wieght fluctuates so much..( while were on the topic of oprah)...



Yea! lol...i noticed it too...either she keeps trying different diets or you're just on drugs and i'm simply imagining....


It is rather sad though that little kids are picking up on such activities...
What happened to disciplining children?


Posted by plastikE on May-14-2002 23:32:

Re: How to talk to your child about oral sex.....

quote:
Originally posted by Swamper
As Dr. Phil says, a friend is not someone who asks you to stick his penis in your mouth.


ROFLMMFAO....HAHAHAHAHHA!!!

now THATS a quote


Posted by hapamoto on May-14-2002 23:41:

how old are the kids she is talking about?


Posted by Tranex02 on May-14-2002 23:57:

if i recall....it's from 11 and up..


Posted by davinox on May-15-2002 00:50:

quote:
Originally posted by lMIlk
i watched that show alot on tv, there are a lot of women there


over-emotional women who are crazy enough to think that emotions CONTROL your life, and all of this empowerment shit sold to the weakminded....blah blah blah. it's all hogwash. empowerment comes from a self-choice, only the idiotic will turn to her show as a guide to escape their own faults.

also, why is it bad for a women to do sexual things, when it's "common nature" for a guy? that's pretty sexist. women should be (and i'm not a women, so don't hold be accountable) just as sexaully empowered as guys. of course, girls that aren't ready to do sexual acts definately should not, but those who make up their minds to do so should not be punished or considered bad. ridiculous nonsense.


Posted by butterfly on May-15-2002 02:18:

quote:
Originally posted by Tranex02
if i recall....it's from 11 and up..


hmmm... i can accept high school age "children" having oral sex, but 11 year olds?

but i agree that Oprah is full of shit.


Posted by tranceDJ on May-15-2002 02:37:

It's true that 11 year olds are having oral. I learned about it in health class reading surveys and such. Kids are starting this stuff really young now and it's really not good but what are you going to do? Kids are likely to go off and do it anyway.


Posted by nrjizer on May-15-2002 02:38:

quote:
Originally posted by drizzt81
if i had a little kid and it started sucking off the other peeps, I'd give him the good old 'Psychologically approved' spanking treatment! and the whole wash tounge with soap...

what should clean him/ her up! [/rant]


I sure hope you dont ever have children. Additudes like that are why so many kids in america get STDs or pregnant... not to be harsh, but spanking your kids and washing their mouths out with soap isnt the solution...

What the responsable parent would do is just make sure his/her kid understands the risks and precautions. Punishing the hell out of them will only make them confused and be rebellious. Be honest, has your parents punishing you for something REALLY caused you to stop?

Oprah is naturally full of shit. Her show exists for shock value and neo christian extremists so she can flaunt her bullshit morals and get her fat ass even more rich and famous, just like Montel and 60 Minutes and Hateline and all those other goofy shows. Just ignore em I say


Posted by tranceDJ on May-15-2002 02:56:

He's right about the STDs...and young kids aren't likely to use protection.


Posted by JM on May-15-2002 04:54:

quote:
Originally posted by flystyler
Great so we have 5 year olds giving head, woppy. Lol.
\

haha...that was funny.

Oprah blows herself.

>JM<


Posted by TranceFusion on May-15-2002 05:02:

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AND WE HAVE NEW ICONS!!!!
YEAH!


Posted by Damo on May-15-2002 07:14:

quote:
Originally posted by davinox


over-emotional women who are crazy enough to think that emotions CONTROL your life, and all of this empowerment shit sold to the weakminded....blah blah blah. it's all hogwash. empowerment comes from a self-choice, only the idiotic will turn to her show as a guide to escape their own faults.

also, why is it bad for a women to do sexual things, when it's "common nature" for a guy? that's pretty sexist. women should be (and i'm not a women, so don't hold be accountable) just as sexaully empowered as guys. of course, girls that aren't ready to do sexual acts definately should not, but those who make up their minds to do so should not be punished or considered bad. ridiculous nonsense.


it's so true.... preach it....


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