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-- hey help me fcuk with the people i call

hey help me fcuk with the people i call

i'm making nothing but calls today - i was supposed to start a new project but my boss and his wife just had a baby so he's not here for the next few days. i'm the only one in the office so there's no one to make sure i'm doing what i need to be doing... this means i need to have some fun! give me some ideas!

here's what i usually say:

"hi, is _____ available?"
"hi, _____, my name is Amelia, i'm calling with AllWebLeads, I noticed that you had been shopping for some health coverage recently (as long ago as feb 2007...ugh) and i was just calling to see if that was all taken care of."

if not, i try to sell them insurance. yippee. i need to have some fun today.

Ask them if there fridge is running?

tell them you're a long lost relative from africa and you want to wire them some money but can't legally send a money order for that large of an amount to a person without proper health insurance. health insurance you can give them, yes.

Do your job as you normally would, only, try a different crazy accent every time. That way, nobody can really "complain" and you get to break the monotony.

Call Vivid Boy & tell him your from the FBI.

"Hi _______________,

This is Amelia from doomsday.org and now that scientists have confirmed the probable day of the apocalypse, we're building a spaceship that will take sinners to Alpha Centauri so they can have some more time to repent and go to Heaven when the apocalypse reaches Alpha Centauri, on the 4th July 9455. The tickets cost two thousand dollars, food not included, and kids can have a discount so they can have the chance of living more than just a decade.

We accept Visa, Mastercard and you can also wire us your money if you prefer"

quote:

Originally posted by jonSun Call Vivid Boy & tell him your from the FBI.

oh my fuking fuk!

that was the funniest shit ever!
hands down jonsun. what you did is the best prank in the history of this site.

Kudos to you.

i hate telemarketers

how bout if I want something, Ill call you! geeez

I always hang up the phone when someone asks for mr. or mrs. of the house

quote:

Originally posted by Spike i hate telemarketers how bout if I want something, Ill call you! geeez I always hang up the phone when someone asks for mr. or mrs. of the house

hey we gotta make a living too. AND i'm not doing cold calls. the only way i have anyone's information is because they filled it out online when they were looking for insurance quotes. i call people and i'm like "i saw you were looking for insurance..." and i had this guy say "that wasn't me!" and i was like, oh really? is your address 5268 dillweed ln, is your wife's name ramona and is your birthday 4/32/64? oh yea, and is your favorite color blue? (we ask their favorite color specifically for this reason) and he was like "yeah" so either someone knows all that shit about you and is just inputting your info into online quote forms for shits and giggles or YOU WERE FUCKING LOOKING FOR INSURANCE YOU PIECE OF LYING POO!

Muffle your mouth with a sweater.
As soon as he/she picks up the phone and says hello say,
"The date is 5/21/08 at X:XX time. The target has now picked up the phone. Now commencing first wiretap of the day."

So you just told me your name and the company you work for.. How about, I'm going to forward this thread to your boss (or a mirror of it if you delete the thread) unless you wire me $1,000 K great, thanks!

"Good morning/afternoon...what are you wearing?"
is usually an ice breaker

quote:

Originally posted by charon So you just told me your name and the company you work for.. How about, I'm going to forward this thread to your boss (or a mirror of it if you delete the thread) unless you wire me $1,000 K great, thanks!

Amelia doesn't work for AllWebLeads, silly

(She doesn't, right?)

no, i don't AllWebLeads is a site we get people's info from to call - i tell people on the phone i work for allwebleads, but i don't MUAHHAHA

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