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Posted by MrJiveBoJingles on Jul-05-2008 00:18:

Hello! FAO: People who are married or have been married

If you're married right now or have previously been married at some point, what are your impressions of marital life? Is it generally enjoyable or generally not that great?

And if you were married but then split or got divorced, do you think you'll ever marry again?


Posted by Ted Promo on Jul-05-2008 00:19:

*looks at arcadiamaxima*


Posted by wienerschnitzel on Jul-05-2008 00:19:

lol


Posted by Chris Crossland on Jul-05-2008 00:23:

I have NEVER heard of a good marriage. Every one i know that is married bitches.

Not to menchion my parents got divorced, my mom remarried, got divorced again. Now my dad is getting remarried.

Fuck that jazz.

It's not worth it.


Posted by wienerschnitzel on Jul-05-2008 00:26:

ok i'll give a serious answer. Marriage is alot of work. I would say it is generally enjoyable. I am probably happier and more stressed then the average single person (if that makes any sense). I'm putting in alot of hard work starting a family now in hopes that it will pay off (more then it already does) later. I also think that most peoples ideas of marriage are really delusional and unrealistic. Marriage is full of good times and total bullshit, you just have to draw the line somewhere and otherwise resolve to work it out and grow from it. why are you asking about marriage?


Posted by MrJiveBoJingles on Jul-05-2008 00:27:

Yeah, I don't know anyone my age who has gotten married or engaged with good results.

But my parents' marriage is very good, so I've seen both sides.


Posted by MrJiveBoJingles on Jul-05-2008 00:28:

quote:
Originally posted by wienerschnitzel
why are you asking about marriage?

.just curious..

Not thinking about marrying any time soon, in case you were wondering.


Posted by wienerschnitzel on Jul-05-2008 00:33:

i think the problem with marriage these days is people are too selfish. I think that the femminist movement has generated a "what's in it for me? and "i can do better" attitude, which isn't condusive to marriage.


Posted by aquila on Jul-05-2008 00:36:

Most of my friends who are now married are perfectly happy. I also know of many couples who have been married 20-30 years and are still fine.

Am I hanging out wiht a different fucking crowd to the rest of you or what?


Posted by tubularbills on Jul-05-2008 00:39:

quote:
Originally posted by MrJiveBoJingles
.just curious..


ALT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Posted by MrJiveBoJingles on Jul-05-2008 00:40:

quote:
Originally posted by tubularbills
ALT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Posted by tubularbills on Jul-05-2008 00:43:

quote:
Originally posted by MrJiveBoJingles


you sombitch

nah, i got nothin'.

my parents lasted around 24 years. then it went down the shitter, and has been for the past two years. dad's an asshole who doesn't want to pay for anything; mom's got no money and can't work; and might end up moving in with me. blah


Posted by MrJiveBoJingles on Jul-05-2008 00:54:

quote:
Originally posted by tubularbills
mom's got no money and can't work; and might end up moving in with me.

Yikes.


Posted by tubularbills on Jul-05-2008 01:00:

quote:
Originally posted by MrJiveBoJingles
Yikes.


yeah, its a long story, thats been going on for two years now.


Posted by emc^2 on Jul-05-2008 01:05:

Re: FAO: People who are married or have been married

quote:
Originally posted by MrJiveBoJingles
If you're married right now or have previously been married at some point, what are your impressions of marital life? Is it generally enjoyable or generally not that great?

And if you were married but then split or got divorced, do you think you'll ever marry again?


I see I've inspired your thread


Marital life - could be good or could be bad. Sadly, most marriages do not end in "and they lived happily ever after". As cliche as it is, it takes a lot of work and it takes even more work if only one person is pulling.

If I got divorced, I'd never marry again. Live together? Sure. Would I have a motherfucker of all pre-nups, even for a case of a "civil marriage" (e.g. living with someone for 2+ years) - FUCK YEA.

My wife decided to totally breach the contract by going psycho bible-thumper after 6 years, completely unpredictable. Result - marriage is in shambles and if I did not have 2 kids, I'd be long divorced by now.

Bottom line - you never know but odds are not in your favor.


Posted by Zewad on Jul-05-2008 01:09:

bummer tbills....

i've been married for.. tomorrow will be 6 weeks...

everything is great so far... except that im going to iraq for a year in september... she's cool with it b/c we'll be much better off in the monies department..

but back to the topic.. yes its great, but honestly i dont think its any different than the past 2 years that we lived together... that was a huge "trial" run that went off great... there are still things that we both bitch about each other, but marriage isn't a fairy tale with finding that perfect someone... its finding that special someone that is close enough...which means it'll involve lots of work...but in all i couldnt be happier


Posted by Amduscias on Jul-05-2008 01:19:

quote:
Originally posted by Ted Promo
*looks at arcadiamaxima*
yes?? what do you want =o


Posted by kadomony on Jul-05-2008 01:21:

imo, for a monogamous relationship to work, both people must focus on being interdependent rather than codependent.


Posted by Domesticated on Jul-05-2008 01:32:

I don't see the point of marriage these days.

It used to be a commitment thing, but now I think it's just a big day of celebration which can complicate things and ruin the relationship down the track.

A friend of mine has just had two kids with his partner, after deciding that they weren't going to get married.

For all intents and purposes, they may as well be married, but without all the issues that go with it.

I think the problem is that a lot of couples think their life will magically change after marriage, and end up becoming disappointed and disillusioned with the whole arrangement.


Posted by Project-K on Jul-05-2008 02:22:

quote:
Originally posted by Beat Blog
I think the problem is that a lot of couples think their life will magically change after marriage, and end up becoming disappointed and disillusioned with the whole arrangement.


Seriousely, people just marry for the wrong reasons. They watch shitty fairytale movies and then they think their marital life is going to be like that. There's nothing fundamentally wrong with marriage itself, but there's definately something wrong about a society that pressures you to get married 'just cause'.


Posted by verndogs on Jul-05-2008 02:25:

quote:
Originally posted by Beat Blog
I don't see the point of marriage these days.



tax and other financial benefits...that's about it


Posted by Project-K on Jul-05-2008 02:25:

quote:
Originally posted by verndogs
tax and other financial benefits...that's about it


Otherwise it's mostly just symbolic.

My idea of a perfect wedding is signing a legal contract.


Posted by Zewad on Jul-05-2008 02:36:

quote:
Originally posted by verndogs
tax and other financial benefits...that's about it


bingo.. esp w/ the military... she now has full medical for free... and i get paid mucho deneros more b/c of marriage


Posted by Sushipunk on Jul-05-2008 02:38:

quote:
Originally posted by Zewad
bingo.. esp w/ the military... she now has full medical for free... and i get paid mucho deneros more b/c of marriage


If you don't mind me asking Zewad, how much does the army pay you to go to Iraq for a year?


Posted by Zewad on Jul-05-2008 02:45:

quote:
Originally posted by Sushipunk
If you don't mind me asking Zewad, how much does the army pay you to go to Iraq for a year?


they pay the regular base pay... but since i'll be leaving from tampa they'll pay BAH (basic allowance for housing) for the tampa market for an O-3 (captain w/ dependent, ie wife) and no taxes while there and also pay hazard pay and safe pay...

full sum up to $80k+...

btw.. i make 10/hr + commission and wife makes 12/hr now.. and neither of us are on full time

big pay jump... hence why iraq isnt so bad... and i'm pretty sure i'll be some staff job nut who will sit at a desk the whole year..


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