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-- Post your favourite all time best quotes !


Posted by Rostros on Jul-18-2008 09:56:

Post your favourite all time best quotes !

Can be anything , im going to take some of the best quotes from the best british comedy tv show bottom !


http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bottom_%28TV_series%29


--

Eddie: That's it! I'm going to write to my M.P.
Richie: Why?
Eddie: Because I love her!
Richie: [emphatically] Eddie! Tony Blair is a man!

--

Eddie: This is a sex shop isn't it?
Shop Assistant: Yes.
Eddie: [slaps money down] I'll have five quid's worth then!
Shop Assistant: Very droll sir, I've never heard that one before.
Eddie: Haven't you? Shall I tell it again?
Shop Assistant: No thank you sir, I'd rather have a pineapple inserted violently into my rectum.
Eddie: You've been working here too long mate.


--

[both watching a rented video]
Richie: It's not very sexy, is it?
Eddie: No. I must say, I expected a lot more from "The Furry Honeypot Adventure".
Richie: I think this is for kids you know Eddie. I think those Hussein brothers saw you coming again. Well, what else did you get?
Eddie: "Big Jugs"
[laughs]
Richie: "Big Jugs"! All right!
[reads box]
Richie: "A history of pottery in the nineteenth century." Anything else?


--

Eddie talking to a (real!) Falklands veteran

Eddie: So what did you do?
Veteran: Well, I'd rather not talk about it.
Eddie: Why not, is it embarrassing? Shit your pants, did you? Cried, did you?
Veteran: Quite the opposite, actually!
Eddie: What, you sucked water in through your eyes?

--


Posted by vonbremen on Jul-18-2008 09:59:

c.u.n.t

I love Ruede Hagelstein


Posted by Acton on Jul-18-2008 10:12:

I could just list a load of Bender quotes, but heres a few

"Compare your lives to mine and then kill yourselves"

"There we were in the park when suddenly some old lady says I stole her purse. I chucked the professor at her but she kept coming. So I had to hit her with this purse I found"

"Who are you, and why should I care?"

i could go on for days, but i have to do some work


Posted by vonbremen on Jul-18-2008 10:34:

The queen is sipping your taxes with 2teaspoons of sugar and some Danish cookies on the side.


Posted by Lira on Jul-18-2008 13:45:

Re: Post your favourite all time best quotes !

quote:
Originally posted by Rostros
[both watching a rented video]
Richie: It's not very sexy, is it?
Eddie: No. I must say, I expected a lot more from "The Furry Honeypot Adventure".
Richie: I think this is for kids you know Eddie. I think those Hussein brothers saw you coming again. Well, what else did you get?
Eddie: "Big Jugs"
[laughs]
Richie: "Big Jugs"! All right!
[reads box]
Richie: "A history of pottery in the nineteenth century." Anything else?


Posted by RJT on Jul-18-2008 13:48:

quote:
"So, if you need anyone to talk to ... or anyone to dry hump. I'm here for you."


quote:
"Yearn not for earthly goods and pleasures. Cast off this taint, and become taintless."


- Derek "Stormy" Waters


Posted by Slylee on Jul-18-2008 14:05:

"God didn�t do that, you did. You�re a fucking a narcotics agent, I knew it."


"Hey guys...OH...Big Gulps ey? WELP! See ya later!"


Posted by on Jul-18-2008 14:08:

"If you can dream - and not make dreams your master,
If you can think - and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same;"


Taken from 'If' by Rudyard Kipling


Posted by Slylee on Jul-18-2008 14:19:

from one of my alltime favorite movies.

"Don't let yourself get attached to anything you are not willing to walk out on in 30 seconds flat if you feel the heat around the corner"

DeNiro in Heat


Posted by Taranis on Jul-18-2008 14:36:

quote:
"All right," said Susan, "I'm not stupid. You're saying humans need ... fantasies to make life bearable."

No. Humans need fantasy to be human. To be the place where the falling angel meets the rising ape.

"Tooth fairies? Hogfathers?"

Yes. As practice. You have to start out learning to believe the little lies.

"So we can believe the big ones?"

Yes. Justice. Mercy. Duty. That sort of thing.

"They're not the same at all!"

Take the universe and grind it down to the finest powder and sieve it through with the finest sieve and then show me one atom of justice, one molecule of mercy. And yet you act as if there were some sort of rightness in the universe by which it may be judged.

"Yes. But people have got to believe that or what's the point � "

My point exactly.


Posted by fbgdavidson on Jul-18-2008 15:46:

"You've got all the sexual politics of a Viking attack"


Posted by T-Soma on Jul-18-2008 16:36:

Superbad

Evan: Yeah chicks go nuts for that... the male camel toe.
Seth: Yea yea! The camel tail.

Seth: You know when you hear girls say 'Ah man, I was so shit-faced last night, I shouldn't have fucked that guy?' ...We could be that mistake!

Seth: I'll be like the Iron Chef of pounding vag.

Seth: Momma's making a pubie salad, and she wants some Seth's own dressing.

Jules: You scratch our backs, we'll scratch yours.
Seth: Well Jules, the funny thing about my back is that it's located on my cock.

Officer Michaels: Prepare to be fucked by the long dick of the law!


Posted by Spike on Jul-18-2008 19:13:

quote:
Originally posted by Slylee
from one of my alltime favorite movies.

"Don't let yourself get attached to anything you are not willing to walk out on in 30 seconds flat if you feel the heat around the corner"

DeNiro in Heat


LIAR! No chick could ever find this movie remotely interesting, unless of course ur really a dude....none the less SICK ASS MOVIE I AGREE



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