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-- The Morning After - A lesson in sex education:
The Morning After - A lesson in sex education:
Don't do any of these things.
That was incredibly shit.
I'll save your thread with a real 'what not to do the morning after story' though. I woke up one morning, not to long ago actually, next to a girl who I barely even remembered meeting - nor much of the night at all come to think of it. Thinking I'd deprived myself of a chance to knock the doors in on quite an attractive fitty I thought I'd push my luck and see if I could get my way - She was in my bed after all. Even so, to my surprise, it worked.
Afterwards she said to me something along the lines of "that was even better than last night." "We had sex last night?!" was my response. Never saw her again. Wounded.
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| Originally posted by DJ Mikey Mike Wounded. |
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| Originally posted by DJ Mikey Mike That was incredibly shit. I'll save your thread with a real 'what not to do the morning after story' though. I woke up one morning, not to long ago actually, next to a girl who I barely even remembered meeting - nor much of the night at all come to think of it. Thinking I'd deprived myself of a chance to knock the doors in on quite an attractive fitty I thought I'd push my luck and see if I could get my way - She was in my bed after all. Even so, to my surprise, it worked. Afterwards she said to me something along the lines of "that was even better than last night." "We had sex last night?!" was my response. Never saw her again. Wounded. |
That happened to me once Mike, cept halfway through the am fuck I remembered what I had done earlier. 
Once woke up and just thought. "
That's not my ceiling."
Then literally tried to find out if the bird was good looking or not but was trying to be too sly about it so couldn't see. (some how her not seeing seemed important at this point... hmm)
Anyway really needed to pee but had morning wood. Was still pissed so just asked the random where her toilet was and sauntered past her with woody dying to say hello. It was at this point I realised I wasn't wearing my "with company boxers" like really the crapest pants ever.
Long story cut sort didn't know her name even though I spoke to her a bit (tried to catch her name off some certificates on the wall) ended up doing the walk of shame home at 10 am without one of my socks. Bought some pies and stuff then my dad called an for some reason (still ruined I think) I told him all about it.
Was funny though. Once pulled a girl in a taxi we were sharing from a rank was so random too (much better story too but really a morning before, tho she did pay me lol). Tune in next week for more stories 
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| Originally posted by Clovis That happened to me once Mike, cept halfway through the am fuck I remembered what I had done earlier. |
You know when your drunk the night before and you can go for hours. Ain't it funny how you wake with a wood and if she even sneezes in your direction your done? (maybe only me but seriously always happens, ready to go again for a proper go soon, but really first one I always have to appologies for after the night before lol)
I've never not known who I was sleeping with, but my friend got so drunk and barred out and had taken some somas he was so trashed he pissed the girls bed he was sleeping with. Woke up early as hell and dipped out without her noticing
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| Originally posted by DJ Mikey Mike Haha, I hate not remembering - Kind of seems a bit of a waste. And I do it FAR too often! This one girl, who I'm actually still friends with surprisingly, said I was the worst smashing she'd ever had! Apparently I knocked her lamp of the bedside table, elbowed her in the side off the head, and then fell asleep in the middle of it all absolutely starfish naked on her bed! In the morning she said "I kept trying to cover you up but you kept pushing my hand away." I don't remember any of this, haha. |
nice! similar to the "not my ceiling" one of mine, but apparently I just puked alot: 
this is why "get the fuck out" is a practical sentence to learn.
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| Originally posted by DJ Mikey Mike Haha, I hate not remembering - Kind of seems a bit of a waste. And I do it FAR too often! This one girl, who I'm actually still friends with surprisingly, said I was the worst smashing she'd ever had! Apparently I knocked her lamp of the bedside table, elbowed her in the side off the head, and then fell asleep in the middle of it all absolutely starfish naked on her bed! In the morning she said "I kept trying to cover you up but you kept pushing my hand away." I don't remember any of this, haha. |
There was this one time that I was fucking this girl and it was getting heated. I mean HEATED! I wound up shooting all over a box of pull-ups I had just purchased. Anyways, when it was over she got up, ripped the duct tape off her mouth, pushed me aside, jumped out of my trunk and wound up calling the police. Epicfail.
That'll learn ya! "Tie em tight, rape all night, insecure in jail for sure!" It's my mantra.
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| Originally posted by Ted Promo There was this one time that I was fucking this girl and it was getting heated. I mean HEATED! I wound up shooting all over a box of pull-ups I had just purchased. Anyways, when it was over she got up, ripped the duct tape off her mouth, pushed me aside, jumped out of my trunk and wound up calling the police. Epicfail. |
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| Originally posted by chach what are you doing tonight? |
I don't think ive told this story even to my mates but this thread seems to be appropriate. I once woke up with a horrible headache and had no clue where i was, as i looked around the room I gauged the pink walls and candles everywhere meant i wasn't in my own room and with the random girl lying next to me i figured that happy days i'd scored. Not so happy days that i couldn't remember anything from last night, not a name, not a conversation, nothing.
The further thought occured that this could be tricky if she woke up. As I lay there trying to piece things together like a drunk Columbo it dawned on me that i was desperate for a piss. Luckily I wasn't wall side and I sank out of the bed and tried to take a peak at what was in bed with, but she was sleeping on her front and in my still drunkern haze it was tricky to see if I should have been pleased with my nights work or not. I stumbled out the room as quietly as I could and surveyed the surroundings.
Turns out that their student halls were based in a circular building with a lot of doors on the outside of the circle which i guessed (having come out of one) were the bedrooms and there were some doors on the inside of the circle too. I figured that I would try those for a bathroom. After wandering the circumference of the building I had tried an airing cupboard and a cleaning cupboard before I found the Bathroom about halfway round. After relieving my bladder I attempted to find my way back but in my infite wisdom instead of going back the way I came I figured if it was a cirle then I'd go the other way.
As I passed about 5 doors the other way I guessed that this must have been the door I had come from and proceeded (with caution might I add) to open the door and peer in. Pink walls, candles everywhere, and a brown haired girl sleeping on her front, Happy days. I got back into bed contemplating the night before and what exactly i was going to say since I couldn't remember fuck all, but banked on the fact that she had a better recollection than me.
As I got into bed the girl stirred and looked at me for a moment before shrieking like only a girl can. I jumped out of bed and tried to explain that I had the exact same reaction and that it was OK. The girl then asked me why I was in here room in just my boxers and I tried to explain that we had met last night and that I had woke up here. That was met with cries of I didn't go out last night but my friend (i can't even remember the name!) did, but she's next door.
Shit! I quickly appologised and left. I then crept as quietly back into the next room as I could, grabbed my clothes off the floor (really should have looked for them before getting into bed next door) and ran out the door shutting it as quietly as I could. After clothing myself I then spent 15 mins moving round like a royal marine trying to find out where the exit was of what seemed to be a building designed by M. C. Escher himself, before I finally got outside.
After getting home and sleeping off the "unfortunate incident" I found a random number in my phone book and it all came flooding back that we had indeed exchanged numbers but needless to say I never recieved any communication back!
tl;dr
c0r version? Phrase it in the form of a war story plz. Imagery a plus.
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| Originally posted by Ted Promo tl;dr c0r version? Phrase it in the form of a war story plz. Imagery a plus. |
LOL @ the guy jerking off on the side girls like what are you doing? he goes " you still here " ?
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| Originally posted by DRM I got drunk and woke up with no clue where i was. went for a piss but ended up getting back in bed with the wrong girl. Proceeded to disappear very quickly. |
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| Originally posted by hooknife Fuck...I just read the entire thing. Wish I would have know about the CoR version 2 comments below. |
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