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-- Funny email
Funny email
Had to share this with you all!! Ignore the arrows ..dunno how that happened.
MALE VS. FEMALE
MALE VS. FEMALE AT THE ATM MACHINE
A new sign in the Bank Lobby reads:
> > 'Please note that this Bank is installing new
> > Drive-through ATM machines enabling
> > customers to withdraw cash without leaving
> > their vehicles.
> >
> >
> > Customers using this new facility are
> > requested to use the procedures outlined
> > below when accessing their accounts.
> >
> >
> > After months of careful research,
> > MALE & FEMALE Procedures have been
> > developed.
> > Please follow the Appropriate steps for
> > your gender.'
> >
> > *******************************
> > MALE PROCEDURE:
> > 1. Drive up to the cash machine.
> > 2. Put down your car window.
> > 3. Insert card into machine and enter PIN.
> > 4. Enter amount of cash required and withdraw.
> > 5. Retrieve card, cash and receipt.
> > 6. Put window up.
> > 7. Drive off.
> >
> >
> > *******************************
> >
> >
> > FEMALE PROCEDURE:
> > 1. Drive up to cash machine.
> > 2. Reverse and back up the required
> > amount to align car window with the machine.
> > 3. Set parking brake, put the window down.
> > 4. Find handbag, remove all contents on
> > to passenger seat to locate card.
> > 5. Tell person on cell phone you will call
> > them back and hang up.
> > 6. Attempt to insert card into machine.
> > 7. Open car door to allow easier access
> > to machine due to its excessive distance
> > from the car.
> > 8. Insert card.
> > 9. Re-insert card the right way.
> > 10. Dig through handbag to find diary
> > with your PIN written on the inside
> > back page.
> > 11. Enter PIN.
> > 12. Press cancel and re-enter correct PIN.
> > 13. Enter amount of cash required.
> > 14. Check makeup in rear view mirror.
> > 15. Retrieve cash and receipt.
> > 16. Empty handbag again to locate wallet
> > and place cash inside.
> > 17. Write debit amount in check register
> > and place receipt in back of checkbook.
> > 18. Re-check makeup.
> > 19. Drive forward 2 feet.
> > 20. Reverse back to cash machine.
> > 21. Retrieve card.
> > 22. Re-empty hand bag, locate card holder,
> > and place card into the slot provided!
> > 23. Give dirty look to irate male driver
> > waiting behind you.
> > 24. Restart stalled engine and pull off.
> > 25. Redial person on cell phone.
> > 26. Drive for 2 to 3 miles.
> > 27. Release Parking Brake.
> >
>
Re: Funny email
| quote: |
| Originally posted by SkyHigh > > 26. Drive for 2 to 3 miles. > > 27. Release Parking Brake. > > > |
Hahaha yes.
its funny cause its true
It's funny because it's overly exaggerating
Edit: and because it makes fun of women
Women are stupid and I don't respect them,
That's right, I just have sex with them
Cosmic
You are such a buzzkill
Thats right I said BUZZ KILL
lol, as I said to Vertigo, I prefer "Debbie Downer" 
merrr merrr
You should change "Peanut Butter Jelly Time!" to "Debbie Downer"
It really does suit you.
lol +1 on overly exagerated
| quote: |
| Originally posted by FunkyCrew lol +1 on overly exagerated |
| quote: |
| Originally posted by me@t k@tie merrr merrr You should change "Peanut Butter Jelly Time!" to "Debbie Downer" It really does suit you. |
| quote: |
| Originally posted by Cosmic Fur |
David Brent: I'm angry, and not because I'm in it, but because it degrades women. Which I hate.
I got this today. I thought it would be a suitable "girl power" type response to the first post 
| quote: |
| WOMAN'S PERFECT BREAKFAST She's sitting at the table with her gourmet coffee. Her son is on the cover of the Wheaties box. Her daughter is on the cover of Business Week. Her boyfriend is on the cover of Playgirl. And her husband is on the back of the milk carton. WOMEN'S REVENGE "Cash, check or charge?" I asked, after folding items the woman wished to purchase. As she fumbled for her wallet, I noticed a remote control for a television set in her purse. "So, do you always carry your TV remote?" I asked. "No," she replied, "but my husband refused to come shopping with me, and I figured this was the most evil thing I could do to him legally." UNDERSTANDING WOMEN (A MAN'S PERSPECTIVE) I know I'm not going to understand women. I'll never understand how you can take boiling hot wax, pour it onto your upper thigh, rip the hair out by the root, and still be afraid of a spider. MARRIAGE SEMINAR While attending a Marriage Seminar dealing with communication, Tom and his wife Grace listened to the instructor, "It is essential that husbands and wives know each other's likes and dislikes." He addressed the man, "Can you name your wife's favorite flower?" Tom leaned over, touched his wife's arm gently and whispered, "It's Pillsbury, isn't it? CIGARETTES AND TAMPONS A man walks into a pharmacy and wanders up & down the aisles. The sales girl notices him and asks him if she can help him. He answers that he is looking for a box of tampons for his wife. She directs him down the correct aisle. A few minutes later, he deposits a huge bag of cotton balls and a ball of string on the counter. She says, confused, "Sir, I thought you were looking for some tampons for your wife? He answers, "You see, it's like this, yesterday, I sent my wife to the store to get me a carton of cigarettes, and she came back with a tin of tobacco and some rolling papers; cause it's sooo-ooo--oo-ooo much cheaper. So, I figure if I have to roll my own .......... so does she. (I figure this guy is the one on the milk carton!) WIFE VS. HUSBAND A couple drove down a country road for several miles, not saying a word. An earlier discussion had led to an argument and neither of them wanted to concede their position. As they passed a barnyard of mules, goats, and pigs, the husband asked sarcastically, "Relatives of yours?" "Yep," the wife replied, "in-laws." WORDS A husband read an article to his wife about how many words women use a day... 30,000 to a man's 15,000. The wife replied, "The reason has to be because we have to repeat everything to men... The husband then turned to his wife and asked, "What?" CREATION A man said to his wife one day, "I don't know how you can be so stupid and so beautiful all at the same time. "The wife responded, "Allow me to explain. God made me beautiful so you would be attracted to me; God made me stupid so I would be attracted to you! WHO DOES WHAT A man and his wife were having an argument about who should brew the coffee each morning. The wife said, "You should do it because you get up first, and then we don't have to wait as long to get our coffee. The husband said, "You are in charge of cooking around here and you should do it, because that is your job, and I can just wait for my coffee." Wife replies, "No, you should do it, and besides, it is in the Bible that the man should do the coffee." Husband replies, "I can't believe that, show me." So she fetched the Bible, and opened the New Testament and showed him at the top of several pages, that it indeed says .......... "HEBREWS" The Silent Treatment A man and his wife were having some problems at home and were giving each other the silent treatment. Suddenly, the man realized that the next day, he would need his wife to wake him at 5:00 AM for an early morning business flight. Not wanting to be the first to break the silence (and LOSE), he wrote on a piece of paper, "Please wake me at 5:00 AM." He left it where he knew she would find it. The next morning, the man woke up, only to discover it was 9:00 AM and he had missed his flight. Furious, he was about to go and see why his wife hadn't wakened him, when he noticed a piece of paper by the bed. The paper said, "It is 5:00 AM. Wake up." Men are not equipped for these kinds of contests. God may have created man before woman, but there is always a rough draft before the masterpiece. |
looks like spam to me.
| quote: |
| Originally posted by smuncky looks like spam to me. |
| quote: |
| Originally posted by *~LiSa-LoO~* No more G's to Gent's talk with you! |
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