How do you turn a New Zealander into an Australian?

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-- How do you turn a New Zealander into an Australian?

Posted by itsamemario on Aug-15-2008 23:43:

How do you turn a New Zealander into an Australian?

quote:

Man Claims to Speak 'Australian' After Allegedly Being Raped by Wombat

SYDNEY � A New Zealand man has been sentenced to community service after telling police he was raped by a wombat and the experience had made him speak "Australian".

Arthur Ross Cradock, 48, from the South Island town of Motueka, called police on February 11 and told them he was being raped at his home by the wombat and he needed help, The Nelson Mail newspaper reported.

The orchard worker later called back and said: "Apart from speaking Australian now, I'm pretty all right, you know."

Cradock pleaded guilty in the local court to using a phone for a fictitious purpose. He was sentenced to 75 hours' community work.

Police prosecutor Sergeant Chris Stringer told the court alcohol played a large role in Cradock's life.

Source: http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,342099,00.html

Posted by tubularbills on Aug-15-2008 23:44:

fuckin kiwis

Posted by DigitalPhoenix on Aug-16-2008 00:17:

...Florida is off the hook on this one!

Posted by Sushipunk on Aug-16-2008 00:48:

Fucking Kiwis indeed.

Posted by Fledz on Aug-16-2008 01:06:

Oooooooooooooooooooooold

Posted by LoveHate on Aug-16-2008 22:22:

Posted by denys envy on Aug-16-2008 23:36:

"Emergency services how may I help you?"

"I've got a wombat in me bum and now speak Aussie!"

Posted by Krypton on Aug-16-2008 23:51:

It happens.

Posted by d_bag on Aug-17-2008 02:37:

South Islanders lol

Posted by iammesol on Aug-17-2008 03:29:

I'm sure he enjoyed it.

Posted by elFreak on Aug-17-2008 03:32:

niggers

Posted by CleverName on Aug-17-2008 07:24:

I used to bulls-eye wombats in my T16 back home, I can't believe he actually got raped by one.

Posted by Sushipunk on Aug-17-2008 07:28:

quote:
Originally posted by CleverName
I used to bulls-eye wombats in my T16 back home, I can't believe he actually got raped by one.

Yeah, good one

Posted by eROs.au on Aug-17-2008 12:57:

first sheep now this? whats next!

Posted by Intuition on Aug-17-2008 18:05:

quote:
Originally posted by eROs.au
first sheep now this? whats next!

Goats?

Posted by Lira on Aug-18-2008 01:10:

Re: How do you turn a New Zealander into an Australian?

Had he been stabbed in the arse, would that make him speak Norwegian?

Posted by saluyamo on Aug-18-2008 07:31:

Re: How do you turn a New Zealander into an Australian?

quote:
Originally posted by dj_alfi
Source: http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,342099,00.html

Still dosent make it less funny

Posted by Domesticated on Aug-18-2008 07:35:

No one has actually answered the original poster's question.

1. Adminster electro-shock therapy until the desire to screw sheep disappears.

2. Give a new hair cut.

3. Send them through a year of eloquence lessons so they can pronounce vowels properly.

4. Buy them a new wardrobe.

5. Modify their DNA so they learn how to play sport.

Posted by Sushipunk on Aug-18-2008 07:41:

quote:
Originally posted by Beat Blog
No one has actually answered the original poster's question.

1. Adminster electro-shock therapy until the desire to screw sheep disappears.

2. Give a new hair cut.

3. Send them through a year of eloquence lessons so they can pronounce vowels properly.

4. Buy them a new wardrobe.

5. Modify their DNA so they learn how to play sport.