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farts!

my farts have stunk for months now and i cant understand why. anyone got any good tips or hints to help with this ?????

Stop eating buffalo sauce. (I know, it's hard.)

Do you consume a lot of calcium or milk products?

inb4jennypie

quote:

Originally posted by MrJiveBoJingles Do you consume a lot of calcium or milk products?

yes, and beef

you should eat lots of asparagus to make your pee stink too.

GO BIG OR GO HOME.

quote:

Originally posted by hardbeats100 yes, and beef

Well, now you see your problem.

Cut out most of the milk products from your diet. If the gas continues, cut down a little on the meat.

If the gas still continues, you have colon cancer.

they sell some pills called Gas-X or something at most drug stores. it works.

thanks all

my bad, i shouldve mentioned that the gas-x stuff doesnt make you stop farting. it just kills the smell.

If your farts have lumps then you have shit yourself

quote:

Originally posted by elFreak you should eat lots of asparagus to make your pee stink too. GO BIG OR GO HOME.

quote:

Originally posted by mickeymarley If your farts have lumps then you have shit yourself

LOL

i have wicked bad farts.

dorits do it in for me, no idea why. if i have a bag of those run for the hills man.

i got the ones that make you laugh uncontrollably, make you tear up and smell like some of the worst brew ever. it's pretty wicked.

then you got them agent orange ones that have a massive area of a effect but kinda just seeps over everything. terrible.


my ass is broken.

yes i eat a fuckload of dairy and pretty much every day i have meat.

I had really awful, pungent farts when I was in pre-school from consuming too much milk and cheese. Then I quit eating so much of it and the gas just went away.

actually i wanted to post this chop in the "Semi-bald uglier than Full bald." thread but it appears to be closed

Do you really mean that your farts stink for months, or that for months, your farts have really stunk? Because these are two entirely different problems.

quote:

Originally posted by david.michael Do you really mean that your farts stink for months, or that for months, your farts have really stunk? Because these are two entirely different problems.

"Man, I farted in my room three months ago and the smell is still here! What should I do?!"

quote:

Originally posted by david.michael Do you really mean that your farts stink for months, or that for months, your farts have really stunk? Because these are two entirely different problems.

oh, syntax

It's the 3 shots of straight rum you have every night before bed.

quote:

Originally posted by inconspicuous oh, syntax

I think there is a semantic problem here as well.

So, are unfarted farts called farts in English, regardless of their location in space and time? That's so weird! In Portuguese, we treat unfarted material as being something completely different from what goes on to pollute the world. And that made me think about my own reality: How come I've never thought of unfarted farts as farts before? Is it analogous to not thinking of toast as bread? Or is it something special about the anus?

It requires further analysis!

quote:

Originally posted by Lira So, are unfarted farts called farts in English, regardless of their location in space and time? That's so weird! In Portuguese, we treat unfarted material as being something completely different from what goes on to pollute the world. And that made me think about my own reality: How come I've never thought of unfarted farts as farts before? Is it analogous to not thinking of toast as bread? Or is it something special about the anus?

An "unfarted fart" is just "gas." It has to exit to become a fart.

quote:

Originally posted by Lira I think there is a semantic problem here as well. So, are unfarted farts called farts in English, regardless of their location in space and time? That's so weird! In Portuguese, we treat unfarted material as being something completely different from what goes on to pollute the world. And that made me think about my own reality: How come I've never thought of unfarted farts as farts before? Is it analogous to not thinking of toast as bread? Or is it something special about the anus? It requires further analysis!

The job of the anus is to convert potential energy into kinetic energy, which would be analogous to, say, a dam withholding water. But, water is water regardless of the side of the dam it is on. Is a "potential fart" still a fart, or is it only a fart once it has "gone kinetic"? I see your dilemma.

quote:

Originally posted by MrJiveBoJingles An "unfarted fart" is just "gas." It has to exit to become a fart.

Oh, it's the same then.

Still, I think David Michael is on to something: Are the post-colonal kinetic properties of a fart what gives farts their farthood? Can anything else be fartised, or is it something inherent to farts that leads to such mystical farthood?

Or is it fart too speculative!?

Farts ae also contributing to global warming. Basically farts could be our undoing!

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