Jesus christ. jerking off + being sick is a bad idea.

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-- Jesus christ. jerking off + being sick is a bad idea.
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Posted by r5a on Aug-27-2008 21:02:

Jesus christ. jerking off + being sick is a bad idea.

Learned the hard way. I decided since I was bored I would jerk off to teens in erotic positions in their underwear.

Let's not do that again, my dick looks like it just was gobbled up by a a green swamp monster. In the midst of my session before I climaxed I sneezed and drooled all over my penis making it covered in boogers and saliva. Awesome times.

And on top of that I feel lightheaded as a kangaroo and want to puke.

I am going to have a shower and wallow in self-pity and probably kill myself.

And for those who didn't appreciate my story, I present to you...

Posted by StanVoid on Aug-27-2008 21:03:

shoulda used skype.

Posted by denys envy on Aug-27-2008 21:04:

i almost missed the period after jesus christ and was actually interested in the thread.

Posted by RJT on Aug-27-2008 21:04:

Thread of the year.

Posted by Mr.Mystery on Aug-27-2008 21:04:

Why do people want to inform the entire world about things like this?

Public humiliation gets you off?

Posted by l�cid on Aug-27-2008 21:05:

Posted by Project-K on Aug-27-2008 21:05:

Re: Jesus christ. jerking off + being sick is a bad idea.

quote:
Originally posted by r5a
And for those who didn't appreciate my story, I present to you...

I was about to mention that this thread is shit and ask for a refund, but I deem this substitute satisfactory.

Posted by Ted Promo on Aug-27-2008 21:07:

use wiper fluid to clean up the evidence

Posted by jayxthekoolest on Aug-27-2008 21:08:

At least it wasn't blood...

...period blood.

Posted by Ted Promo on Aug-27-2008 21:09:

quote:
Originally posted by jayxthekoolest
At least it wasn't blood...

...period blood.

I find it redeeming how conveniently-placed this post was.

Posted by jayxthekoolest on Aug-27-2008 21:10:

quote:
Originally posted by Ted Promo
I find it redeeming how conveniently-placed this post was.

I really need as much help as I can possibly get.

Posted by Ted Promo on Aug-27-2008 21:11:

quote:
Originally posted by jayxthekoolest
I really need as much help as I can possibly get.

r5a's about as good a counselor as you'll ever find.

Posted by jayxthekoolest on Aug-27-2008 21:12:

quote:
Originally posted by Ted Promo
r5a's about as good a counselor as you'll ever find.

Didn't he epically fail at jerking off once though?

Posted by Ted Promo on Aug-27-2008 21:15:

quote:
Originally posted by jayxthekoolest
Didn't he epically fail at jerking off once though?

Haven't we all?

Posted by r5a on Aug-27-2008 21:18:

quote:
Originally posted by Mr.Mystery
Why do people want to inform the entire world about things like this?

Public humiliation gets you off?
I have an inferiority complex to some of the popular TA COR fellows of their stories and life styles. Thus, this makes me withdrawal into public humiliation of myself in order to try and win prestige points and make friends.

I have no idea what I just said.

quote:
Originally posted by jayxthekoolest
Didn't he epically fail at jerking off once though?

Son, what haven't I failed at. Just to a search of all the threads I have made in the cor, regardless Mr.Promo is right, I am probably the best counselor on this website. Bar none.

Posted by tubularbills on Aug-27-2008 21:31:

you're a fucking wuss. i was still jerkin' it hard when i had mono.

Posted by camshaft on Aug-27-2008 21:32:

Haha, dude, that's hilarious. Even funnier you made a thread about it.

I'm just waiting for "pics or gtfo"

Posted by _Nut_ on Aug-27-2008 21:35:

quote:
Originally posted by tubularbills
you're a fucking wuss. i was still jerkin' it hard when i had mono.

Stereo penises are scary. I am glad to know you still have one.

Posted by tubularbills on Aug-27-2008 21:37:

quote:
Originally posted by _Nut_
Stereo penises

can you imagine having two?

would you have four balls then?

how bizarre...

Posted by charon on Aug-27-2008 21:38:

I thought this thread was going to be about jesus christ jerking off. Lose.

Posted by _Nut_ on Aug-27-2008 21:45:

quote:
Originally posted by tubularbills
can you imagine having two?

would you have four balls then?

how bizarre...

Double fist to pee. No more pulling the stranger on yourself... you would blueball yourself while getting off. Now that is bizarre.

Posted by l�cid on Aug-27-2008 21:48:

quote:
Originally posted by tubularbills
can you imagine having two?

o hai

Posted by tubularbills on Aug-27-2008 21:48:

quote:
Originally posted by _Nut_
Double fist to pee. No more pulling the stranger on yourself... you would blueball yourself while getting off. Now that is bizarre.

if they touched each other, would it be gehy?

Posted by tubularbills on Aug-27-2008 21:49:

quote:
Originally posted by l�cid
o hai

SLUT!

Posted by kadomony on Aug-27-2008 21:51:

actually i enjoy masturbating when i have the flu.
the lightheadedness gives extra pleasure during orgasm.

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