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BF/GFs who are friends with their exes

have u had to deal with it? i am now.


i'm trying to work through it but i'm just generally a possesive/jealous type of girlfriend..HOWEVER, before you start attacking me, let me just tell you that you will never see me make a scene or act ridiculous or even act on my jealous feelings alone. that is because i realize it's my own insecurity and it's just something i have to deal with. i keep it under wraps because i know if you make a scene about jealousy, you might as well stamp "INSECURE" on your forehead and that's not something i want to do.

i told my guy it bothered me and that i would try to work through it. we had a nice calm talk about it, i wasn't like "WTF! BLA BLA BLA FUCK HER!"

i usually make a joke out of my jealousy. it's like bringing comic relief helps me deal with it and laugh at myself. i'll say something like, "yea fine we can have dinner but don't make me have to choke a bitch".

cor version:

would any of you who are still friendly with your ex have that talk with your new bf/gf and tell them u are friends with them and that you'd like them to meet or you'd like it to be cool if you all hung out? how would u deal with it if they did that to you?

I tried being a friend with my ex but her new bf said no. but truthfullyi think it was her who couldnt deal with it and was using him as an excuse. fuck em both

It shouldnt be wierd, and those that do should go fly a kite.

i'm cool wit it

I have no problem with them talking to their ex unless they had recently broken up and still kinda sorta had feelings for each other.


Trust is important in a relationship.

Yeah, I'm cool with it as long as she's not a psychotic cuntscab. If that's the case...she can have him back.

get a bipolar/socialphobic girlfriend. It's worked out well for the past 5 months.

quote:

Originally posted by Frenchie Yeah, I'm cool with it as long as she's not a psychotic cuntscab. If that's the case...she can have him back.

they've been broken up for 8 months and she already has a serious bf and when she was with my guy, they had a really disfunctional relationship. lol

to be perfectly honest, that is what sort of bothers me about it. if it was just one of those, "yea it just didn't work out, she's a really cool chick but we didn't have enough in common" type of thing then i think i might be cool about it...but they sounded like a bunch of freaks when they were together. lots of fighting and stuff. why the fuck do i want to be around that?

also, my guy has made it clear that he sort of likes it that i'm jealous...so i'm a little confused.

quote:

Originally posted by Slylee also, my guy has made it clear that he sort of likes it that i'm jealous...so i'm a little confused.

cause its cute. lol.

It all depends on how "friendly" she is with him. Mine's still friends with her first boyfriend, who also took her virginity. They talk once in a while but that's about it, and I really don't have any problem with it. It all depends on the situation between them, really.

quote:

Originally posted by SuspicionVandit get a bipolar... girlfriend.

Speaking from experience, this is a bad idea.

quote:

Originally posted by Slylee also, my guy has made it clear that he sort of likes it that i'm jealous...so i'm a little confused.

Perhaps he likes knowing that you like him enough to be that jealous?

Well you're not around THAT you're around him..and if you're different than her there is no need to worry, right?

A lot of guys secretly, or in your case openly, like when their girlfriend is jealous. Let's them know you actually somewhat care, you know they can have someone else( because you got jealous about another woman somehow) and it keeps you on your toes.

yea he thinks it's cute but it's not something i'm proud of. i hate it.

all i know is that he used to be a major trouble maker and she sounds like a wacked out chick who provoked him a lot. but everything is "cool" and she still gets mail for him and shit like that. he is cool with her new bf, bla bla bla

we JUST had a talk about it and i told him that i'm gonna work through it and we'll eventually hang out but that it just caught me off guard initially. and then he asked me tonight if i wanna go have dinner with them. i said no thanks. then i wanted to poke his eyeballs out lol. but i didn't let him think that, i was nice about my decline.

it's like dude can u give me some time please? lol

Three girls broke up with one of my exes to whom I wasn't even all that significant (he was my first bf at Stanford; we may have gone out for 4 months max) because of our friendship.

I've never had this problem but if I did, I think I'd be okay to her, I'd probably like her, buddy up to get info (yeah yeah that's low but I'd prolly do it, knowing me) and I think I'd be kind of pissy to him about it when she wasn't around and then apologize thinking ack, this isn't reasonable, I'm not insecure, why am I acting like this...and then go back to being pissy about it...

quote:

Originally posted by Echo of Silence Three girls broke up with one of my exes to whom I wasn't even all that significant (he was my first bf at Stanford; we may have gone out for 4 months max) because of our friendship. I've never had this problem but if I did, I think I'd be okay to her, I'd probably like her, buddy up to get info (yeah yeah that's low but I'd prolly do it, knowing me) and I think I'd be kind of pissy to him about it when she wasn't around and then apologize thinking ack, this isn't reasonable, I'm not insecure, why am I acting like this...and then go back to being pissy about it...

aside from wanting to get info from the ex, that pretty much sums up how i'm acting about it. lol FUCK! I HATE THIS

My GF is still friends with her ex boyfriend. They were together for 2 years and broke up about a year ago. I've been seeing my GF for about 4 months.

It doesn't bother me at all, as I know they BROKE UP FOR A REASON! If there was anything there, they would have stayed together. He's no threat to me.

What bothers me more is when my GF gets a new guy friend. Being a guy, I know that there is a 90% chance he's only talking to her to get into her pants. I know this because I'd be the same. That shits me.

quote:

Originally posted by Slylee they've been broken up for 8 months and she already has a serious bf and when she was with my guy, they had a really disfunctional relationship. lol to be perfectly honest, that is what sort of bothers me about it.

Why does that bother you? They had a dysfunctional relationship... That is GOOD for you, because you know nothing will ever happen between them... lol?

quote:

Originally posted by Slylee also, my guy has made it clear that he sort of likes it that i'm jealous...so i'm a little confused.

My GF is like this too - she likes me to be a bit posessive. I guess it demonstrates how much I care for her. I think it also makes her feel a bit more sane, because she is very much the "jealous girlfriend" type too.

quote:

Originally posted by Slylee yea he thinks it's cute but it's not something i'm proud of. i hate it. all i know is that he used to be a major trouble maker and she sounds like a wacked out chick who provoked him a lot. but everything is "cool" and she still gets mail for him and shit like that. he is cool with her new bf, bla bla bla we JUST had a talk about it and i told him that i'm gonna work through it and we'll eventually hang out but that it just caught me off guard initially. and then he asked me tonight if i wanna go have dinner with them. i said no thanks. then i wanted to poke his eyeballs out lol. but i didn't let him think that, i was nice about my decline. it's like dude can u give me some time please? lol

I think your problem is that she is a whacked out bitch, and youre not. And youre under the impression that he needs the psychotic episodes and fighting to make him happy.

quote:

Originally posted by Vlad I think your problem is that she is a whacked out bitch, and youre not. And youre under the impression that he needs the psychotic episodes and fighting to make him happy.

She's an EX for a reason and I'm sure being a crazy lemon was a part of the reason why. So why would someone think he needs that in order to be happy when he broke up with someone who supplied that?

quote:

Originally posted by Frenchie She's an EX for a reason and I'm sure being a crazy lemon was a part of the reason why. So why would someone think he needs that in order to be happy when he broke up with someone who supplied that?

You forget it's Vlad we're talking about here. He hasn't really had all that much experience with women.

I don't see the point in staying friends with your ex if you're serious with someone else, unless you've known each other since birth and/or the families have been friends for years or some shit like that. It just leaves the door open for so many possible problems in your current relationship. Out of respect for you and your feelings, your BF should cut ties with his ex.

That's just my opininon... but honestly what is the benefit of keeping that situation even in the equation? They used to have a volatile relationship right? Are things really vanilla with you two and maybe he misses the action/spice he used to have with her? Sometimes people like that shit, even if it's detrimental to their relationship, and when they find themselves in a more healthy relationship without the crazyness, they still need their fix.

I don't know... I just think those situations create more drama than happiness and aren't necessary, especially since you are basically being forced to accept it when you'd rather it be the other way

omg this sucks. he just called and wants to stop by with "2 surprises"

what the fuck is going on. i have to act not pissed right now damnit.

quote:

Originally posted by idoru You forget it's Vlad we're talking about here. He hasn't really had all that much experience with women.

lol ouch.

quote:

Originally posted by Frenchie She's an EX for a reason and I'm sure being a crazy lemon was a part of the reason why. So why would someone think he needs that in order to be happy when he broke up with someone who supplied that?

Thats obvious to us, but shes obviously wierd about it, and thats my hypothesis as to way.

Because Im sure in all aspects of being together and their relationship theyre very happy with each other, but those differences are what can cause jealousy. You nit pick within yourself as to why youre feeling wierd about something you shouldnt, and youre digging to find out why is it so different now? And the dysfunctionality is the major difference between the 2. Some relationships thrive in those kinds of situations.

quote:

Originally posted by Slylee omg this sucks. he just called and wants to stop by with "2 surprises" what the fuck is going on. i have to act not pissed right now damnit.

Youre so making it into more than it is.

what if he is coming over with the ex and her bf?

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