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-- Santa horsewhipped by physics
Santa horsewhipped by physics
1) No known species of reindeer can fly. But there are 300,000 species of living organisms yet to be classified, and while most of these are insects and germs, this does not COMPLETELY rule out flying reindeer which only Santa has ever seen.
2) There are 2 billion children (persons under 18) in the world. BUT since Santa doesn't (appear) to handle the Muslim, Hindu, Jewish and Buddhist children, that reduces the workload to 15% of the total - 378 million according to Population Reference Bureau. At an average (census) rate of 3.5 children per household, that's 91.8 million homes. One presumes there's at least one good child in each.
3) Santa has 31 hours of Christmas to work with, thanks to the different time zones and the rotation of the earth, assuming he travels east to west (which seems logical).
This works out to 822.6 visits per second. This is to say that for each Christian household with good children, Santa has 1/1000th of a second to park, hop out of the sleigh, jump down the chimney, fill the stockings, distribute the remaining presents under the tree, eat whatever snacks have been left, get back up the chimney, get back into the sleigh and move on to the next house.
Assuming that each of these 91.8 million stops are evenly distributed around the earth (which, of course, we know to be false but for the purposes of our calculations we will accept), we are now talking about .78 miles per household, a total trip of 75-1/2 million miles, not counting stops to do what most of us must do at least once every 31 hours, plus feeding and etc.
This means that Santa's sleigh is moving at 650 miles per second, 3,000 times the speed of sound. For purposes of comparison, the fastest man- made vehicle on earth, the Ulysses space probe, moves at a poky 27.4 miles per second - a conventional reindeer can run, tops, 15 miles per hour.
4) The payload on the sleigh adds another interesting element. Assuming that each child gets nothing more than a medium-sized lego set (2 pounds), the sleigh is carrying 321,300 tons, not counting Santa, who is invariably described as overweight.
On land, conventional reindeer can pull no more than 300 pounds. Even granting that 'flying reindeer' (see point #1) could pull TEN TIMES the normal amount, we cannot do the job with eight, or even nine.
We need 214,200 reindeer. This increases the payload - not even counting the weight of the sleigh - to 353,430 tons. Again, for comparison - this is four times the weight of the Queen Elizabeth.
5) 353,000 tons traveling at 650 miles per second creates enormous air resistance - this will heat the reindeer up in the same fashion as spacecraft re-entering the earth's atmosphere. The lead pair of reindeer will absorb 14.3 QUINTILLION joules of energy. Per second. Each.
In short, they will burst into flame almost instantaneously, exposing the reindeer behind them, and create deafening sonic booms in their wake. The entire reindeer team will be vaporized within 4.26 thousandths of a second.
Santa, meanwhile, will be subjected to centrifugal forces 17,500.06 times greater than gravity. A 250-pound Santa (which seems ludicrously slim) would be pinned to the back of his sleigh by 4,315,015 pounds of force.> In conclusion - If Santa ever DID deliver presents on Christmas Eve, he's dead now.
Take that you fat fuck!
I knew it must really be Jebus in a fat suit & red velour pyjamas.
Knew. It.
the information above suggests the scientist willing to allow the possible existence of flying reindeer that can fly at 156,000 times the speed of regular reindeer and 24 times the speed of any recorded man-made vehicle, yet it presumes that they could pull no more than ten times the weight of a normal reindeer, do not have greater aero-dynamics (which one would expect if they can fly) and are not more tolerant to high temperatures.
ignoring the inconsistencies in the assumptions that are permitted and those that aren't permitted about flying reindeer, i'd just work on the basis that 99% of homes don't have chimneys these days and ADT doesn't get 374,220,000 B&E call-outs between midnight and 6am.
also the assumption all houses have at least one good child is crap, i know households with only naughty children. you'd have to work a bell curve of the number of kids per household and then weight it, given a house with only one kid has less chance of having a good child than a household with 7 children. this may make the athletic requirements of flying reindeer more realistic.
But does he require a second seat when he takes a plane?
Re: Santa horsewhipped by physics
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| Originally posted by The Ear Take that you fat fuck! |
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| Originally posted by Spam But does he require a second seat when he takes a plane? |
Worthless without calculations showing how each solution was had.
Until then, Santa is amazing.
Re: Re: Santa horsewhipped by physics
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| Originally posted by DeleteFromUsers You really need to stay in Toronto. |
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| Originally posted by Spam But does he require a second seat when he takes a plane? |
Re: Santa horsewhipped by physics
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| Originally posted by The Ear |
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| Originally posted by ChemEnhanced |
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| Originally posted by fayraree weakest attempt at LOL I've ever seen |
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| Originally posted by ChemEnhanced ...... ...... ...... |
Re: Re: Santa horsewhipped by physics
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| Originally posted by Sly_Guy wait, so santa isn't real? |
I remember seeing this years and years ago. I think Mad Magazine put it together
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| Originally posted by kotsy I remember seeing this years and years ago. I think Mad Magazine put it together |
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| Originally posted by The Ear & I remember seein your Mom years and years ago. I think we put you together. |
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