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-- Go through your phone...
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Go through your phone...
...and post the most random out-of-context text message
I have a few:
"Wakka Wakka Wakka"
"If my pants r not dirty then yes!"
"OBAMA BEAT YO MAMA!"
"So far so good. Kindergarten and grade three kids with autism"
"She looks like Thomas! From Pocahontas!"
"Roger followed us to a restaurant on Plains Road... We tried to document. Mission unsuccessful."
I have no idea what some of these were about
I keep getting random ones for some bible study group every few weeks.
"Thats a good question. The records here show it being processed in virginia... But the lab in virginia doesn't have it. 2nd time they've messed it up this month. Last test was time sensitive and they didn't do it in time."
"ok dude im with all white people..."
15 seconds later:
"They're ganging up on me !"
K so like when ben button comes out of the womb...i got it
watermelon delivers viagra-like effects
not my phone but tubularbill's phone.
when he arrived in town to meet up with us, he was going to text us he arrived from the airport. he got the area code mixed up, and texted some random person. i think the texts were along the lines of ....
"hey i just landed. i'll be there in about 15 minutes"
... later on ...
"i'm in a taxi. i will be there in a couple of minutes to party with you guys"
i sometimes wonder what that person was thinking when will was texting him all those messages .........
"who is this?"
Note I didn't send them a text nor have I ever seen that number.
"just got my period, cancel plans for tonight"
lmao 
"I had to hop skip and jump around those manatees"
"Lol naked or just underwear? That would be weird if they were naked. There was a news crew??"
"Listen cunt if you wanna be with me I'm gonna have to poop on your face a few times and you have to pretend you like it OR IT'S OVER!"
EDIT: These were just today ><
(picture of disposable toilet seat liner dispenser)
My friend and I have a tendency to let the other person know that they are currently pissing or pinching off a loaf by sending a picture of something in the bathroom.
"Humpty dumpty sat on a rock. Little bo peep was sucking his cock! He cums in her mouth she starts to weep. She knew by the taste he'd been shagging her sheep.
"Tommorrow its going down. By it, i mean many many sushis"
"Do you need lube if they are 60, it seems your the expert..."
"Don't puke in any potted plants ha ha. Breakfast is out for me i can't even walk"
There's a guy playing along to psy trance on a digiridoo in the bourke st mall
"cox in your ear!"
"it must be the crabs"
"party in the city where the heat is on, all night on the beach til the break of dawn"
"shes got bat wings and a very sharp scorpion tail"
"i keep an angry sparrow in my back pocket"
Just a heads up...on the playboy channel is " Bang her hot cherry" and " teachers pet 8" FYI.
"Omg. Seriously, I'm gonna get a restraining order. I put the scarf downstairs now leave me alone."
Hi
I will kill you.
Lol, oh I thought you meant rape.
Happy Birthday to Rick Astley.
This mix makes me wanna do the sex. <- personal favorite of mine 
Hm...
2. "I heard you got robbed at gunpoint last week and gunman told you to give up your phone or suck his cock. I see you still got your phone, cocksucker!"
and this one... verbatim...
1. "Ahaaaha! LOL Armin rules, dawg! Shit, you should have been here man! He's soo good, I'd totally blow him if I was a chick. FUUUCKKK I'M ROLLING MY BAWLS OFF! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!"
both from the same dude. I suspect he may come out of the closet soon.
Dude im doing shots with dennis rodman
"Jesus Christ, she's a Leo - get me in a car!". One of my best mates, after one of his best dates 
"stay black X"
"you're a fucking phallus"
"5 a side football is down for tonight. good times"
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