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Male-Female Friendships
I've often heard it spoken around the COR that there's no such thing as a totally platonic friendship between men and women and that in any friendship between a man and a woman, at least one party is attracted to the other.
I mention this because I saw one of my old friends from school again last night, and despite knowing her for five years now and being friends all through that time I've never wanted to sleep with her and nothing has ever happened.
I do have other friendships with girls that I'm pretty sure are completely platonic, but they are usually friendships of convenience- people I share seminars with and so on where it's a somewhat manufactured friendship born out of being forced to spend time together. You know the kind of thing: people you probably wouldn't have any interest in but since you work together or can't avoid this person a friendship is necessary so it isn't a perpetually awkward social situation.
This friendship is different though- we live in different towns and there's no reason why we have to get on with each other. I'm pretty convinced it's compelling evidence against the COR logic on relationships and friendships.
COR version: Man and woman are friends without wanting to bang each other. Impossible?
Possible, once you have reached a certain point of maturity.
Impossible, I was friends with an attractive girl for about a year, just going out and partying every so often. Ended up banging her after a drunken night, hasn't been the same since 
i was thinking about this the other day and while its fine and dandy to try in and kid yourself that you can have a completely platonic relationship, i think deep down there is always some kind of sexual tension in man-woman friendships.....
point in case, i ended up sleeping with one of my best friends on Saturday night lol.
If you have a very close friendship with someone you are basically in a relationship with no sex anyways....
i dont know but i am very very good friends with my mates girlfriend and yes i do like her, hell maybe even love her but i would never do anything to fuck up their relationship.
to be honest i just went through a bad crush n fall, i guess the 'she' wanted to be really good friends. well fug THAT
had enough of all these friendship politics
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| Originally posted by colonelcrisp point in case, i ended up sleeping with one of my best friends on Saturday night lol. |
nah its possible. nothing wrong with having good guy and/or girl friends without wanting to do anything sexual with them.
it's very much possible imo. my best two friends are girls who i don't have any attraction to whatsoever, just share interests with. There's always going to be ones which do have the 'one person interested' thing but it's just as possible for it to be the other.
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| Originally posted by pkcRAISTLIN has it made things weird between you and him? |
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| Originally posted by colonelcrisp ha ha ha funny you kiwi fuck! actually things between me and HER are just fine. Ian can you honestly say, that given the opportunity, that you wouldn't shag one of your chick friends even if there was absolutely no chance negative impacts on your friendship? |
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| Originally posted by Ian with those two, definitely not. I'm not attracted to them physically and would rather have them as long-term mates. There are some female friends where I obviously would but everyone has that. |
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| Originally posted by colonelcrisp hrmm im skeptical..... go knock back 8 pints then come back on TA and answer my question again..... |
I don't drink unless abroad when liqeuers and cocktails are aplenty. Beer is rank
It's possible..however if there is attraction between a guy and a girl then there will always be the desire or curiousity to fool around. Friendship will only stay as friendship if there is no attraction.
I disagree - I think it's entirely possible, even if there is some level of attraction. I count several girls as close friends, many of whom I wouldn't want to fool around with; those that I would given the chance I know enough not to push it.
Don't get me wrong, I've had a friendship or two become awkward over this issue in the past, but on the whole I don't think it's impossible. I've had several friendships where one person or the other respected the other's boundaries.
Finally some sense in the COR. It was becoming annoying hearing about how one cannot possible have "just" a friendship with a person of the the opposite sex, because someone from the opposite sex is not a true friend just someone you havent fucked yet (i believe thats how it was described in an earlier thread about this). But by this warped logic a gay person coudnt have any true friends of the same sex, because in that case everybody of he same sex would be just another person you haven't fucked yet.
Of course it's possible. All this nonsense of "sexual attraction"...as if one doesn't have a choice in the matter, when in fact one does. You don't have to let yourself go there if you don't want to; i.e. in a relationship that is supposed to be strictly platonic.
Like seriously I get that we're animals and all that, but ffs...do you really think everyone is controlled by their sex drive??
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| Originally posted by jennypie Of course it's possible. All this nonsense of "sexual attraction"...as if one doesn't have a choice in the matter, when in fact one does. You don't have to let yourself go there if you don't want to; i.e. in a relationship that is supposed to be strictly platonic. Like seriously I get that we're animals and all that, but ffs...do you really think everyone is controlled by their sex drive?? |
I think people may be getting confused here... friendship is a relationship born of action; subsequently, regardless of attraction, sexual tension/desire, etc. a friendship can exist and remain as a friendship if the actions of both parties remain consistent with the expected scope and conditions of that relationship. It seems that most people are thinking that motive is important... it isn't... it really doesn't matter if a guy befriends a girl because he wants to nail her, as long as both parties act as friends then there is a friendship.
That's pretty much what I just said, you redundant fuck.
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| Originally posted by jennypie That's pretty much what I just said, you redundant fuck. |
Simplicity > convoluted over-articulation.
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| Originally posted by Moral Hazard I think people may be getting confused here... friendship is a relationship born of action; subsequently, regardless of attraction, sexual tension/desire, etc. a friendship can exist and remain as a friendship if the actions of both parties remain consistent with the expected scope and conditions of that relationship. It seems that most people are thinking that motive is important... it isn't... it really doesn't matter if a guy befriends a girl because he wants to nail her, as long as both parties act as friends then there is a friendship. |
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| Originally posted by colonelcrisp How we choose to act in a relationship, still changes nothing about the fact that while we may choose not to put P in VaG, thus maintaining the commonly accepted definition of friendship, does not mean that the thought or intention to play hide the salami does not exist. |
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| Originally posted by jennypie Simplicity > convoluted over-articulation. |
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