TranceAddict Forums (www.tranceaddict.com/forums)
- Production Studio
-- Lyrics
Pages (2): [1] 2 »

Lyrics

I'm currently working on a vocal trance (has a balearic feel to it, I think) and I was wondering if anyone could give me some suggestions as to the lyrics I should use for the song.

After listening to it, the words will end up sounding like the way the lines "Got a feeling so high
You’re held against the times" from the song So High by Starchaser.

So far I have "Watching birds fly
floating in the sky"
then, "across the sunset" but the watching birds fly seems silly to me. If anyone could help me out that would be great. It should realte to the whole island/beach thing, I have waves crashing in the beginning. Also, if someone could point me to some nice samples of seagulls, I would eternally be in their debt. The ones I find seem to have too many seagulls at the same time. They're too crazy sounding when I want a more relaxed feel.

Thanks in advance if anyone decides to help.

Re: Lyrics

quote:

Originally posted by floyd741 I'm currently working on a vocal trance (has a balearic feel to it, I think) and I was wondering if anyone could give me some suggestions as to the lyrics I should use for the song. After listening to it, the words will end up sounding like the way the lines "Got a feeling so high You’re held against the times" from the song So High by Starchaser. So far I have "Watching birds fly floating in the sky" then, "across the sunset" but the watching birds fly seems silly to me. If anyone could help me out that would be great. It should realte to the whole island/beach thing, I have waves crashing in the beginning. Also, if someone could point me to some nice samples of seagulls, I would eternally be in their debt. The ones I find seem to have too many seagulls at the same time. They're too crazy sounding when I want a more relaxed feel. Thanks in advance if anyone decides to help.

Don't have pure seagull samples but the ones on "beachball" are quite subtle.

As for lyrics, I don't mean to be rude but do something meaningful. Lyrics should come from some experience and something with depth, not just a tacky watercolor painting. Make it abstract if you need to - the usual sunsets and waves shit is like singing about unicorns and rainbows. There are so many cheesey tracks out there that would have been a decent instrumental.

I hate to say it, but I agree with DJ RANN 100%. I think it's great that you're posting your lyrics and I applaud you for having the guts to do that, but yeah, those lyrics don't really don't seem to say anything meaningful that wouldn't be better done in a music-only context, leaving the interpretation up to the listener. I'm not a lyricist and I personally think it's one of the more difficult aspects of songwriting. So, I certainly hope this doesn't discourage you, but forces you to look deeper inside for something more meaningful to say or, at least, a more creative way to say it as DJR suggested.

Well, thanks. I never thought of it like that. I always just saw lyrics as a nice filler in trance so I guess that's what I tried to do. And because I'm still very novice at making music so I needed something to spruce it up. Plus, it gets me a chance to tell this girl I kind of like "Wow, that was great. You have a beautiful voice." emphasis on the beautiful.

Lyrics should match the vibe, mood, dynamics, and emotions of the music for the biggest impact, and to avoid dissonance between the lyrics and the music.


The Fugees did it well in 'Ready Or Not'

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XUrJdf4PbEk

The music should dictate the lyrics

The "balearic" and "beach" theme with waves and seagulls is the most overused cliche in trance. It's like trying to write a love poem and starting it out with "Roses are red, violets are blue." Just don't.

If you have nothing to say, why are you even writing lyrics or music in the first place?

quote:

Originally posted by MrJiveBoJingles The "balearic" and "beach" theme with waves and seagulls is the most overused cliche in trance. It's like trying to write a love poem and starting it out with "Roses are red, violets are blue." Just don't. If you have nothing to say, why are you even writing lyrics or music in the first place?

Food in the form of thought. Agreed

quote:

Originally posted by MrJiveBoJingles If you have nothing to say, why are you even writing lyrics or music in the first place?

quote:

Originally posted by floyd741 Plus, it gets me a chance to tell this girl I kind of like "Wow, that was great. You have a beautiful voice." emphasis on the beautiful.

That's why. I have nothing to say and if I make a cliche trance song, so be it. I'm a 16 year old kid just messing around with Fruity Loops. Most of my stuff will be either terrible but original, or decent yet completely cliche.

Or terrible AND completely cliche.

Re: Lyrics

Maybe a bit clich� but:
===============================================
Watching birds fl-y, floating in the sky,
Waiting for the ti-de, to wash away my pride,
Saving for the da-y, that you'll be by my side,
once again.....
===============================================

Don't laugh at me because I'm vulnerable right now ...

Well, basicly, the lyrics I wrote could be about girl losing her boy because she was to stubborn to wash his clothes . (Well, ofcourse the lyrics have another meaning, but I don't want to seem too melo-dramatic right now )...


p.s. good luck on the girl

This world has enough generic trancers - just tell the girl you want to hit that and save us from the track.

Re: Re: Lyrics

quote:

Originally posted by Theran Maybe a bit clich� but: =============================================== Watching birds fl-y, floating in the sky, Waiting for the ti-de, to wash away my pride, Saving for the da-y, that you'll be by my side, once again..... ===============================================

So it's cool if I use that?

quote:

Originally posted by Theran p.s. good luck on the girl

Thanks

Re: Lyrics

quote:

Originally posted by floyd741 So far I have "Watching birds fly floating in the sky" then, "across the sunset" but the watching birds fly seems silly to me. If anyone could help me out that would be great.

If you're a native english speaker then this SHOULD seem silly to you. Ask a decent poet to write your lyrics, or listen to some decent stuff. Underworld is one of my favourites for lyrics.

PS
Just saw your 16. I wrote some horrible stuff when I first started so I take it all back. Go for gold son.

Re: Re: Re: Lyrics

quote:

Originally posted by floyd741 So it's cool if I use that?

Sure.

Re: Re: Re: Re: Lyrics

quote:

Originally posted by Theran Sure.

Thanks, I will probably add my own bits and maybe change it a bit. I don't want to be taking it verbatim, that doesn't seem fair.

Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Lyrics

quote:

Originally posted by floyd741 Thanks, I will probably add my own bits and maybe change it a bit. I don't want to be taking it verbatim, that doesn't seem fair.

LOL, you can use it however you like. Consider it non-written by me

Well, after much thought I've come up with 4 verses that fit into the song nicely. Here goes (drum roll please)...

Longing for the days
Held in your embrace... Once again

Needed you to stay
More than any words can say... Forever/Once again

Waiting for the day
That you'll be by my side... Once again

On the beach we'll lay
Waiting for the tide... Forever/Once Again

I'm still debating as to whether I should I use forever or once again in verse 2 and 4. Technically, forever makes more sense (at least in verse 4 and with the first line of verse 2) but it might also be nice to just stick with the once again thing. That way, I already have a song name, too. "Once Again" - Fabian Velazquez ft. Shauna Kohler

p.s. Thanks for those lines Theran, definitely got me thinking further than sunsets and seagulls.

quote:

Originally posted by floyd741 Longing for the days Needed you to stay Waiting for the day On the beach we'll lay

These look way to similar. Lyrics that rhyme are generally used yes, but it doesn't need to. IMO 'days - stay - day - lay' are way to similar, expected and to obvious.

Tell a story with your lyrics. Write down a simple story that has a theme (i.e. love at the beach or losing somebody). The story doesn't have to rhyme in any way, just write down a story.

After you done that, you got your theme, and set the story chronological to it's events. (i.e. Your lost a girl, you went to a beach, you set aside your pride and you got the girl back).

After that, write the verses that may or may not rhyme, as said, it doesn't have to. You have to make sure that (almost) each sentence is the same length, so that your singer doesn't have to pronounce a couple of words fast to meet that time. I'll give you an example:

quote:

Longing for the days Held in your embrace... Once again Needed you to stay More than any(1) words can say... Forever/Once again Waiting for the day That you'll be by my side...(3) Once again On the beach we'll lay Waiting for the tide...(2) Forever/Once Again

(1) The word 'any' is to much in this sentence, you have to mumble this word between to get on time. And by leaving 'any' away, you don't change the meaning of the sentence, but the timing is correct.
(2) This sentence is to short, or you have to put Forever/Once again behind it (after a little pauze) to make up the time.
(3) I think this is the best 'couplet' of the lyric, however, the second sentence is longer than the other 'second' sentences, so it won't 'fit' in the track unless you modify this or the other sentences.

quote:

p.s. Thanks for those lines Theran, definitely got me thinking further than sunsets and seagulls.

You're welcome m8, I'm recently started some songwriting so I actually enjoy it ..

quote:

Originally posted by Theran These look way to similar. Lyrics that rhyme are generally used yes, but it doesn't need to. IMO 'days - stay - day - lay' are way to similar, expected and to obvious. Tell a story with your lyrics. Write down a simple story that has a theme (i.e. love at the beach or losing somebody). The story doesn't have to rhyme in any way, just write down a story. After you done that, you got your theme, and set the story chronological to it's events. (i.e. Your lost a girl, you went to a beach, you set aside your pride and you got the girl back). After that, write the verses that may or may not rhyme, as said, it doesn't have to. You have to make sure that (almost) each sentence is the same length, so that your singer doesn't have to pronounce a couple of words fast to meet that time. I'll give you an example: (1) The word 'any' is to much in this sentence, you have to mumble this word between to get on time. And by leaving 'any' away, you don't change the meaning of the sentence, but the timing is correct. (2) This sentence is to short, or you have to put Forever/Once again behind it (after a little pauze) to make up the time. (3) I think this is the best 'couplet' of the lyric, however, the second sentence is longer than the other 'second' sentences, so it won't 'fit' in the track unless you modify this or the other sentences. You're welcome m8, I'm recently started some songwriting so I actually enjoy it ..

Wow, thanks for that! Guess I better get to work cleaning this up.

It really depends on the music. How about you post the track and the lyrics your thinking of, and we'll look at them then. Because I think they were fine with "any" in it, although still a bit cheesy.

quote:

Originally posted by kitphillips It really depends on the music. How about you post the track and the lyrics your thinking of, and we'll look at them then. Because I think they were fine with "any" in it, although still a bit cheesy.

That maybe best yeah, because I probably timed the vocals other than you did. But indeed a bit cheesy though, but he's 16 so...

quote:

Originally posted by Theran That maybe best yeah, because I probably timed the vocals other than you did. But indeed a bit cheesy though, but he's 16 so...

Yeah, thats exactly what I'm thinking on both counts. write cheesy stuff when your 16 IMO. Its really impossible to write lyrics not knowing the actual song itself tho, so we need that to help him.

quote:

Originally posted by kitphillips Yeah, thats exactly what I'm thinking on both counts. write cheesy stuff when your 16 IMO. Its really impossible to write lyrics not knowing the actual song itself tho, so we need that to help him.

True, so floyd741, post your track

well here's the link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M9-1tnvjqF4
But as I post this I just uploaded it to YouTube so I wouldn't expect it to be fully up and running for a while. Please note, the version uploaded is not the finished version. In fact, I'm working on the track as we speak but the idea is the same. The lyrics will most likely pop up in the part near the end where it just loops the whole verse like 8 times. In the finished version I think I'll cut some crap from the beginning and add more after the end of the current version. I just don't think it makes sense to have the vocals come in at the very end.

Also, where can I upload full tracks for other people to listen to besides YouTube? I just hate having to go through the whole process of sticking it in a video and probably cutting out some of the quality along the way.

You can try these places for uploads:

http://www.sendspace.com/
http://www.yousendit.com/
[[ LINK REMOVED ]]

http://www.mediafire.com/
[[ LINK REMOVED ]]

Isn't there a place where you can just upload music for people to hear it, not have to download it?

Powered by: vBulletin
Copyright © 2000-2021, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.