My marriage is on the ropes (Why am I so attractive?)

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-- My marriage is on the ropes (Why am I so attractive?)

Posted by SuspicionVandit on Jul-29-2009 18:35:

My marriage is on the ropes (Why am I so attractive?)

*This thread is the worst thread on front page. Please post about your online cybersex fantasies in other 12 threads.

First off, Audis are shitty cars and today was the 4th day out of 14 days of ownership that I've had to go back and had chinks worked out. The man at the dealership told me 45 minutes to get the work done. Fine. I went walking around and to my favorite pizza shop for a slice. When I sat down, an attractive woman walked in, ordered and sat down. As she sat down, 2 of her pens fell out of her satchel and 1 rolled towards my foot. I picked it up for her and handed it to her, sparking a conversation.
From the very start, she was very chatty and somewhat flirtatious and by the end of our conversation she knew I had no connections to anyone in Seattle. She told me she wouldn't mind meeting again to show me the town and the nightlife. "ok sure." And so she wrote down her number on a piece of paper and that was that. What a nice young woman, I'm sure my fianc�e would be great friends with her.

So I get on my cellular mobile device and tell her I found a nice friend for her.

She did not like it. At all. She was very mad. We were on the phone for 90 minutes (1 hour and a half) arguing, crying, yelling, laughing, and in the end, the issue a bit resolved.
I would not call this girl and she's requested that I have proof of the number destroyed and forgotten. Agreed.

I tore up the number.

flushed it down the toilet.

But the suspicions of women. They have no bounds and I don't believe that this emotional scratch has healed thoroughly. So I went ahead and covered all the bases. I did want her to think I had made a "backup" of the number.

I reformat my computer.

But what if I saved the number to a different partition? I poured an entire can of diet coke the reformatted disk drive.

Screw it, just bust up the entire computer.

No, not enough. I can't her have me thinking I saved it under a mattress, duct taped underneath a sink, locked in a secret room behind the bookshelf.

And what if this woman came across me as I strut the streets, meeting us at that wonderful pizza place? I had to take care of business.

http://www.komonews.com/news/local/51485512.html
I sent this news story to my fianc�e.

I don't think she's coming back.

tada!

Posted by Pjotr G on Jul-29-2009 18:37:

thorough

Posted by ziptnf on Jul-29-2009 18:39:

Posted by david.michael on Jul-29-2009 18:48:

I'm not exactly sure of the point of this thread, but I think I might need to dial the number.

Posted by Omega_Blue on Jul-29-2009 19:05:

you did the right thing, my friend. covered all bases... except one.

what are you gonna do about the bodies??

careless

Posted by WhooCares on Jul-29-2009 19:06:

+ that pic of the # is a digital copy of the napkin...where she left her #....what are you going to do about that?

Posted by Lira on Jul-29-2009 19:08:

I love it!

Posted by euphoria on Jul-29-2009 19:13:

quote:
Originally posted by david.michael
I'm not exactly sure of the point of this thread, but I think I might need to dial the number.

Belltown Pizza

Posted by david.michael on Jul-29-2009 19:15:

quote:
Originally posted by euphoria
Belltown Pizza

Curiosity satisfied, ty.

Posted by the_voice on Jul-29-2009 20:02:

be strong u can do it

Posted by Demoted on Jul-29-2009 20:24:

So you're saying she's alone now?

Posted by Joss Weatherby on Jul-29-2009 21:04:

seriously wtf are you doing in seattle you cunting whore.

Posted by Sushipunk on Jul-29-2009 22:53:

LMFAO

Posted by bas on Jul-29-2009 23:04:

SuspicionVandit is just trying to prove that he was TAs first crazy asshole before washley. I say the two of them have a crazy-off, first one to get locked up wins.

Posted by Adam420 on Jul-30-2009 01:12:

quote:
Originally posted by DjWhooCares
+ that pic of the # is a digital copy of the napkin...where she left her #....what are you going to do about that?

lol yea, can't destroy the internet!

Posted by Lira on Jul-30-2009 01:22:

quote:
Originally posted by DjWhooCares
+ that pic of the # is a digital copy of the napkin...where she left her #....what are you going to do about that?

Phone Al Gore, cancel the internet.

Posted by Ygrene on Jul-30-2009 01:24:

quote:
Originally posted by Lira
Phone Al Gore, cancel the internet.

Read the fine print; there is a $250 cancellation fee.

Posted by Paradox Lost on Jul-30-2009 01:35:

There's Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle mutagen in your toilet.

Posted by Scottaculous on Jul-30-2009 01:41:

lol! nicely done. did someone call the number? sounds like only nou will be man enough to call that number.

Posted by Lira on Jul-30-2009 02:04:

quote:
Originally posted by Ygrene
Read the fine print; there is a $250 cancellation fee.

Wow, this is sure getting expensive. He could just kill everyone that read the note, I reckon it's a lot cheaper to do that. A hammer and some determination is all he needs

Posted by Lira on Jul-30-2009 02:05:

Wait, we all read it! Run to the hills!!!

Posted by kadomony on Jul-30-2009 02:13:

you run a chinese prostitution ring out of your car on the dealer's property?

that's illegal, yo.

Posted by saluyamo on Jul-30-2009 02:15:

quote:
Originally posted by bas
SuspicionVandit is just trying to prove that he was TAs first crazy asshole before washley. I say the two of them have a crazy-off, first one to get locked up wins.

What about Xeno_Creator?

Posted by SuspicionVandit on Jul-30-2009 06:53:

quote:
Originally posted by Joss Weatherby
seriously wtf are you doing in seattle you cunting whore.

hunting whales

quote:
Originally posted by Lira
Wait, we all read it! Run to the hills!!!

hehehe

Posted by Dj Dizzy on Jul-30-2009 14:11:

quote:
Originally posted by Lira
Wait, we all read it! Run to the hills!!!

our only chance of survival is to broadcast that number to as many people as possible. he can't kill the entire world... or can he?