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Posted by Blue. on Jun-25-2002 02:09:

Unhappy A Life Threatening Phobia

Well as all of you know in the past I posted a "how do I get over being afraid of fighting" thread. Now this this has gone much further and now I classify this as a life threatening phobia instead of simply the jitters. By life threatening phobia would be a fear of fighting (I'm sure theres a phobia name for it but I'm not sure of what it is). Well anyways this has been something drastically affecting my life for years without my full attention. To me this little problem was just something that bothered me without my knowledge. Anywhere I would go all I would think about was wether the person walking by me could kick my ass and if they would if I gave them a dirty look or whatever, etc. Well i've been like that for about 3 years or so and let me say it's terrible. I have been terrified of fighting and it became my main fear. I was affraid of having a certain girl as my girlfriend because I would be afraid of getting into a fight and losing. When I was in a fight sometime last year I was mortified and was definately not fighting my best. I am pretty strong since I have a punching bag in my basement and I have been told that I'm pretty strong. Not only that but I practice with a punching bag every 2 days or so. Now this phobia is getting out of hand and I finally realize what it is that has been terorizing my life so much. I would be afraid of going anywhere for fear of getting into a fight with someone I don't even know. Now I am going to be taking boxing lessons and I hope that this well help me and I have a feeling that it will. If it doesn't I'm not sure what I'll do.


Posted by eXeTik on Jun-25-2002 02:55:

Seems like a simple self confidence problem rather then a fighting phobia, could it be that it's not the fighting that your'e afraid of but the loosing possibility in it?!


Posted by Orbax on Jun-25-2002 02:56:

Hello heir Trance.

I am ze doctoar of your mind. I vill now be diagnosink you. You are vat ve in ze zygological community are callink a "puzzy". I zugjest zat you are kickink ze azzez of ze peoplez who are makink you be feelink zis vay.

but on a serious note... LAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

im also drunk.

but...

All the guys at the boxing club are going to be black. Ive been there done that. But its cool man. If you do it, you get props. Thats hard to do. Just be aware that 87% of the professional boxers in the world have brain damage. uhm. Go for it though bro. You obviously feel tha tyou have something wrong with you. You are feeling that you have weakness in you somewhere and you are afraid that other people will see it and prey on it. You need to sit on your bed and sit down and look at yourself and look at every bad thing about you. Look at WHY you are weak in those areas. Recognizing your weakness is all you need. I make fun of myself all the time and I dont give a she it wat other people think. So my advice for right now, is be dead honest with yourself and realize where you think you are weak. see what your problem is and then not only recognize, think about what you know will fix it. The problem isnt usuallyk nowing what you have to do, but the DOING it part is sometimes hard. A man is someone who does the hard thing even when he doesnt want to. Dont live in fear man, it ruins your life. I used to be like that too. You just have to reach the point the point where you say "fuck it" and do what the fuck you are gonna do, and if some shit goes down, so be it.

more later when im sober

peace


Posted by LadyLuck13 on Jun-25-2002 03:04:

Trance, actually; you should look into more information regarding "anxiety". That may help you with what you're dealing with at least to some extent. I hope it works out and you feel better soon. Let me know if you'd like.


Posted by Blue. on Jun-25-2002 03:18:

I'm generally a happy person and don't have too much of a self confidence problem. It's just that this problem follows me around wherever I go and I feel that if it didn't bother me then I'd be living a great life. I first though I'd work out but that only gets you fit, it doesn't get u used to fighting. I think boxing would be the best route as it will prepare me and then when I'm comftorable I can quit it or just take it for a short period of time since it isn't a passion of mine.


Posted by eXeTik on Jun-25-2002 03:37:

In that case- yeha, some boxing or some kind of martial art lessions will do you good, in any case- how old are you?
Cuz you know... the older you get the less fights you have (altough it also depend on the what kind of a person are you and who are you hanging with)


Posted by Blue. on Jun-25-2002 03:51:

quote:
Originally posted by eXeTik
how old are you?


16, going into grade 11. Yeah I know it's sad but I think I can fix it since it's not like I'm weak or anything.


Posted by Palivar on Jun-25-2002 04:07:



"Holy jeepers, Davey! I think I can kick this guy's ass!!"


Posted by Orbax on Jun-25-2002 04:11:

yeah, maybe some generalized anxiety disorder shit goin on. Talk to your doctor seriously.


Posted by -=Sky=- on Jun-25-2002 04:42:

do you smoke cigarettes? cuz in news clip in "TIMES" i read that smoking can cause "public" anxiety or something where ur all scared and shit to be around people....i smoke...IM afraid to be outside so ...in the garage, i feel safe, no one cares about my ways...in the garage where i belong, no one hears me sing this song..in the GARAGE... long live weezerhahahahaha


Posted by .montecarlo. on Jun-25-2002 05:12:

KarateKid

what about martial arts? i think they deal alot more with the psychological aspects of fighting than boxing does. since you know your strong and already have lots of practice; it seems like this is your problem.

watch "dazed and confused", then you'll see the big picture. lol j/k.

[NSM]


Posted by lMIlk on Jun-25-2002 05:14:

carry a gun that'll give you confidence


Posted by Orbax on Jun-25-2002 05:20:

martial arts gives a bullshit confidence boost. you get cocky and then get your ass kicked by someone who actually knows how to fight


Posted by eXeTik on Jun-25-2002 05:26:

quote:
Originally posted by Orbax
martial arts gives a bullshit confidence boost. you get cocky and then get your ass kicked by someone who actually knows how to fight


Martial art is not just about phisical strangh, it also makes you mentaly stronger... though I'm not talking bout those "I will join karate lessions for 2 weeks and will kick some ass" people.
You have to dedicate several years... if your'e looking for a shortcut try boxing- though it deals with phisical strangh and has nothing to do with the mentality, which in trance's case is what he needs to improove.


Posted by Blue. on Jun-25-2002 05:29:

quote:
Originally posted by eXeTik


Martial art is not just about phisical strangh, it also makes you mentaly stronger... though I'm not talking bout those "I will join karate lessions for 2 weeks and will kick some ass" people.
You have to dedicate several years... if your'e looking for a shortcut try boxing- though it deals with phisical strangh and has nothing to do with the mentality, which in trance's case is what he needs to improove.


I've only been in a fight once in the last 3 years so I think that boxing will give me practice and make me more comftorable fighting while also improving my fighting skills at the same time.


Posted by .montecarlo. on Jun-25-2002 05:32:

quote:
Originally posted by trance_n_dance


I've only been in a fight once in the last 3 years so I think that boxing will give me practice and make me more comftorable fighting while also improving my fighting skills at the same time.


well it seems like you've got it all figured out then...


Posted by Palivar on Jun-25-2002 05:51:



"You go my dojo I teach you gung-fu, you learn kick ass, and then you me smoke herb"


Posted by Orbax on Jun-25-2002 05:53:

martial arts is ONLY about physical strength. I know people who have gone throughit for 10 years, are black belts, and I kick their ass regularly. We know eachother so it isnt street fighting, but we do violent fighting and he tries it on me and it doesnt work. On the other hand, people like myself who have done it, can actually use it. Im not saying im awesome, but you need a modicum of strength and agressiveness to make any style work. Martial arts is mainly inhabited by the software engineers and chess club players. Not many people take it seriously, and the people who can actually use it are all pretty much older than 30. and after 25 you arent gonna be getting into too many fights.


Posted by eXeTik on Jun-25-2002 06:07:

quote:
Originally posted by Orbax
martial arts is ONLY about physical strength. I know people who have gone throughit for 10 years, are black belts, and I kick their ass regularly. We know eachother so it isnt street fighting, but we do violent fighting and he tries it on me and it doesnt work. On the other hand, people like myself who have done it, can actually use it. Im not saying im awesome, but you need a modicum of strength and agressiveness to make any style work. Martial arts is mainly inhabited by the software engineers and chess club players. Not many people take it seriously, and the people who can actually use it are all pretty much older than 30. and after 25 you arent gonna be getting into too many fights.


How do you think all those karate masters break bricks on their necks?! is it due to their phisical strangh...? no, it's all in your mental state of mind.
Though my point was much more simple then that, trance here is afraid of fighting... dedicating his time to learn some martial art will raise his self confidence and will therefore raise his mental strangh...


Posted by Palivar on Jun-25-2002 06:08:


Posted by Palivar on Jun-25-2002 06:11:


Posted by Orbax on Jun-25-2002 06:50:

Im saying this from having taken martial arts and boxing and several other things. Ive been involved not only in sparring with but in actual fights with many martial artists. I think a lot of the stuff with breaking boards and bricks is rigged. and I also think that a lot of that stuff anyone can do. I think holyfield and tyson could punch a board in half. Ive done that stuff, its all ready to break. Not saying that there arent a few talented individuals who accomplish amazing feats, but I think these people would excel in anything they wanted to pursue, and they happened to get into brick breaking or whatever they do through martial arts avenues. anyways. He needs to go talk to his doctor. He sounds like he has an anxiety disorder.


Posted by Slylee on Jun-25-2002 07:27:

quote:
Originally posted by Orbax
martial arts is ONLY about physical strength. I know people who have gone throughit for 10 years, are black belts, and I kick their ass regularly. We know eachother so it isnt street fighting, but we do violent fighting and he tries it on me and it doesnt work. On the other hand, people like myself who have done it, can actually use it. Im not saying im awesome, but you need a modicum of strength and agressiveness to make any style work. Martial arts is mainly inhabited by the software engineers and chess club players. Not many people take it seriously, and the people who can actually use it are all pretty much older than 30. and after 25 you arent gonna be getting into too many fights.


WRONG! dude u are so off it isn't even funny...if martial arts is only about physical strength then that would sort of contradict yourself when u say basically black belts cant do shit...it's all about the mind and discipline and applying it when fighting...


Posted by DJ_Ballistic on Jun-25-2002 07:38:

There's only one thing you need to remember when fighting

whoever goes phsyco first wins..........


Posted by Matrix on Jun-25-2002 07:44:

hey, im being totally serious here.
Have you ever had your ass kicked? I mean where you were down on the ground bleeding out of your ears or something? It sounds like you had a traumatic experience, and thats why you are so afraid; Maybe domestic abuse as a child?

Whatever the cause may be, it might actually be helpful if you and a friend got into sparring matches and do a whole "fight-club" sort of thing (except dont beat the crap out of yourself)

Seriously. Get into a fight with one of your friends, and mutually acknowledge that whatever happens, you will still be cool with each other. Just duke it out until one of you gives up. Thats how i learned to fight. Screw the karate or boxing bullshit. (make sure that if you do that, you both wear cups. . .you dont want to jeapordize each others kids) Also try to do it on a mat if you can, something with padding, as most street fights turn into grappling matches of some kind. Maybe start out with boxing gloves and soft kneepads so you learn your limits.

You would be surprised how well that actually works. That helped me toughen up a LOT when i got into ice hockey.

Or you could carry around a wallet full of bills and whenever someone threatens to fight you, hand them some cash and say youre sorry?

just my two cents. . .


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