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-- Texts From Last Night
Texts From Last Night
Fkn LOL
http://www.textsfromlastnight.com
post ur fav's
(905): Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
(1-905): With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
fkn lol
| quote: |
| Originally posted by Anomyst (905): Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina.. (1-905): With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there. fkn lol |
some very funny shit on that site... here are my favs!
(424): Do u kno any dealers?
(1-424): I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
(412): Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
(786): if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
(352): godspeed.
(865): you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
(765): So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
(443): I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
(314): I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
(505): The responsible thing...show them the break room.
(614): this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
(860): so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
(412): dude i feel like shit
(413): well u did eat a lot of play-doh
re
(978): ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
(703): BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
(412): You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
(337): They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
(903): My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something
(614): this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
(619): We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
(860): so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
(931): don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
LOL(214): so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
(1-214): dont u have athletes foot?
Re: re
| quote: |
| Originally posted by pagaille21 LOL(214): so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings (1-214): dont u have athletes foot? |
Awesome site
(817): i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
(402): Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
(804): remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
(614): this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
(304): Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
(415): worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
(828): There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
(402): Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
(402): The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
| quote: |
| Originally posted by Deeman (828): There's a dead frog in my kitchen? (402): Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush. (402): The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all" |
So funny man ..
got more:
(251): but she was nice to me.
(256): She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
(224): bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
(314): My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
(541): If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
(734): Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
(310): Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
(651): sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
(1-651): you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
(781): i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
| quote: |
| Originally posted by Deeman (828): There's a dead frog in my kitchen? (402): Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush. (402): The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all" |
(403): you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
(574): some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
(1-574): class
(574): he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen Iverson
(303): God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
(720): And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
(704): One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
(404): Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
(305): Did you save them?
(404): Who?
(651): So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
(757): There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
(512): She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
(864): weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
(909): You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
(651): So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
how many times have we done this dee! 
Bahahahahaha heaps man. Remember the twig or stick conversation we had right after 'a helping' from that dude in the white van at Warm the Cockles?
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