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Posted by kadomony on Aug-19-2009 04:55:

My Job

My job is so fucking creepy. I'll try to sum it up by first telling you about the folks I work with:

First, there is this supermodel wanna-be chick. Yeah, okay, she is pretty hot, but damn is she completely useless. The girl is constantly fixing her hair or putting on makeup. She is extremely self-centered and has never once considered the needs or wants of anyone but herself. She is as dumb as a box of rocks, and I still find it surprising that she has enough brain power to continue to breathe.

The next chick is completely the opposite. She might even be one of the smartest people on the planet. Her career opportunities are endless, and yet she is here with us. She is a zero on a scale of 1 to 10. I'm not sure she even showers, much less shaves her "womanly" parts. I think she might be a lesbian, because every time we drive by the hardware store, she moans like a cat in heat.

But the jewel of the crowd has got to be the fucking stoner. And this guy is more than just your average pothead. In fact, he is baked before he comes to work, during work, and I'm sure after work. He probably hasn't been sober anytime in the last ten years, and he's only 22. He dresses like a beatnik throwback from the 1960's, and to make things worse, he brings his big fucking dog to work. Every fucking day I have to look at this huge Great Dane walk around half-stoned from the second-hand smoke. Hell, sometimes I even think it's trying to talk with its constant bellowing. Also, both of them are constantly hungry, requiring multiple stops to McDonalds and Burger King, every single fucking day.

Anyway, I drive these fucktards around in my van and we solve mysteries and shit.

Posted by Sushipunk on Aug-19-2009 04:58:

And I would have gotten away with it too, if it wasn't for you damn kids!

Posted by Lilith on Aug-19-2009 04:58:

I am not an evil property developer.

Those orphans had it coming

Posted by The17sss on Aug-19-2009 05:02:

quote:
Originally posted by Sushipunk
And I would have gotten away with it too, if it wasn't for you damn kids!

nice follow up, Sushi

Kadonomy... where do you work? What kind of job is this??

Posted by Palladium on Aug-19-2009 05:04:

i was believing all of it on Sam's but then when i read "we solve mysteries and shit" i finally got it

slow today

Posted by Palladium on Aug-19-2009 05:04:

quote:
Originally posted by The17sss

Kadonomy... where do you work? What kind of job is this??

Posted by idoru on Aug-19-2009 05:05:

quote:
Originally posted by The17sss
nice follow up, Sushi

Kadonomy... where do you work? What kind of job is this??

I'm at a loss for words right now.

Posted by The17sss on Aug-19-2009 05:07:

LOL! I seriously thought he was talking about his real job.... then added the Scooby Doo reference at the end as a comparison. Fuck me.

Posted by R.j. on Aug-19-2009 05:16:

quote:
Originally posted by The17sss
nice follow up, Sushi

Kadonomy... where do you work? What kind of job is this??

Seriously!

Posted by Mr.Mystery on Aug-19-2009 05:27:

quote:
Originally posted by Palladium
i was believing all of it on Sam's but then when i read "we solve mysteries and shit" i finally got it

slow today

Ruh roh.

Posted by KilldaDJ on Aug-19-2009 06:15:

well you can have my job.

Posted by kadomony on Aug-19-2009 07:02:

Posted by TranceOwnsLol on Aug-19-2009 10:52:

are you part of the flinstones?

Posted by verndogs on Aug-19-2009 10:55:

Posted by Silky Johnson on Aug-19-2009 11:12:

I keep hearing Bart Simpson saying "Repetetiveness is my job! My job! My job! Being repetetive is my job!"

Posted by LeopoldStotch on Aug-19-2009 12:04:

Dude. You forgot to mention the douchy dog cousin the stoner's dog who sometimes tags along. He's a stupid mutt who think he can take down things twice his size and has a squealing bark.

And that douchy dude know it all who tries to hit on the supermodel chic, but always fails, and has 100 white shirts and 200 blue pants in his closet. Wait .... You're playing his role. Fail.

Posted by Sushipunk on Aug-19-2009 12:07:

quote:
Originally posted by jennypie
I keep hearing Bart Simpson saying "Repetetiveness is my job! My job! My job! Being repetetive is my job!"

Dental plan?

Posted by Mr.Mystery on Aug-19-2009 12:09:

quote:
Originally posted by Sushipunk
Dental plan?

Lisa needs braces.

Posted by Ygrene on Aug-19-2009 12:10:

Lol

The punchline made 'creepy' in the first sentence that much funnier.

Posted by Slylee on Aug-19-2009 14:53:

quote:
Originally posted by Sushipunk
And I would have gotten away with it too, if it wasn't for you damn kids!

bahahahah!! omg i was obsessed with scooby as a kid. my mom even said scooby was my imaginary friend when i was 3 true story lol

Posted by Renzo on Aug-19-2009 14:55:

quote:
Originally posted by The17sss
Kadonomy... where do you work? What kind of job is this??

Kevin, are you a blonde by any chance?

Posted by The17sss on Aug-19-2009 15:01:

quote:
Originally posted by Renzo

Kevin, are you a blonde by any chance?

Good lord I'm getting (deservedly) busted up for that brain fart.

Posted by Slylee on Aug-19-2009 15:13:

i dont get it though. i mean obviously i noticed the scooby reference and realized he was describing scooby doo characters, but what was the point of this thread? lol

Posted by ziptnf on Aug-19-2009 16:17:

quote:
Originally posted by Slylee
i dont get it though. i mean obviously i noticed the scooby reference and realized he was describing scooby doo characters, but what was the point of this thread? lol

To see if anyone would get it?

Btw, genius thread

Posted by ChemEnhanced on Aug-19-2009 16:27:

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