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Relationship troubles, i need help...

I have been in a relationship for 7 months now and i have enjoyed every minute of it..Last night we had a massive fall out, we both went clubbing , i went with my mates and she went with her mate, about 12pm i saw my g/f mate on her own , i asked her where my g/f was ? she said upstairs !! i thought who with ? then she went all ' I dunno' , so i went upstairs and i saw her on the dance floor and some guy kissing her neck , i ran over and pushed him out of the way and said wtf you doing mate this is my g/f , then my g/f steps in and pushes me to the wall and tries kissing me , i was having none of it , I said to her what are you playing at and she said were just friends and he was giving me a kiss for me helping out his relationship, i was really pissed off at this time and for some reason i hadda get out of there , my g/f was saying sorry and all and some dude was buying me a fricken drink.

I saw my g/f again and we were talkin and she said this' how would you feel if i was sleeping in the same bed as someone else would you trust me ? i said no fucking way ! and that was that she started crying. My g/f is going to magaluff in 2 days for a week and i hope i can trust her. Im in a really pissed off and depressed mood at the moment , last night i got in about 2am and i put on my new rank 1 - album and thought about all the good times ive had , then i broke down and shedded a few tears. Im starting to feel like someone has ripped out my heart and eaten it.

RzR .

quote:

this' how would you feel if i was sleeping in the same bed as someone else would you trust me ? i said no fucking way

Well there is yr answer, you dont trust her

Remember the key to a relationship is trust, if you dont have that you have nothing

So looks like she will have a good week at shagaluff without you

If you have been with her for 7 months why arent you going with her, a week with yr gf in a hot country, hmmmmmm. Sounds good to me

hey Rozzer

the best thing for you now? vent out the anger, let it out. but do it away from her so she doesn't see that side of you. you've got to let it out so it doesn't eat you out. i think when i let my frustrations out, i was listening to Dumonde-GodMusic and started sceaming in my car

after the anger subsides, you'll be able to think better. remember, emotions cloud reason so you'll have to wait a few days to think with any clarity

pork

rought times. go with the gut feeling.

>JM<

Hey RozzeR

PALIVAR, FFS !!!!!

Not nice at all. You need to decide on how much you want to stay with her. If you do, then you both are going to have to earn the trust back between each other, something that will be anything but easy.

If you really feel that all trust is betrayed and she isn't worth the effort of getting it back, then end it, it will only get worse.

If you really like her a lot, then talk to her BEFORE she goes, tell her how hurt you were. BE HONEST!!! and say to her that you think the two of you need to think about everything for the week she is away. If nothing else it will give you a week to gather you thoughts and calm down.

You don't want to end the relationship and then in a week's time decide you made a mistake.

I agree with Flystyler.
If you don't trust her now what makes you think you'll trust her later?
The first two years of my relationship with my now wife, started off with her in University and me in College; a 3.5 hour drive apart!
Believe me, trust and communication are two of the largest cornerstones in any relationship.

Personally, I'd let it slide.
Why you ask? Good question young padawon...

At first you're probably thinking, "If I do let this go, she's think it's an invitation to walk all over me".
Well, this is a double-edged sword!
If she continues to do questionable things, have no fear, your friends will now begin to question her motives.
This way she'll hang herself AND you'll come out smelling like roses when it comes to time to cutting her off (if ya know what I mean).

But I will warn you now. This takes incredible self-control when it comes to the 'understanding' part and keeping your cool.

Best of luck.

Wait, you are saying he should trust her if shes in bed with someone? the whole point is that she would never get into bed with someone. or thats at least the way it should be. If you think shes the type of girl to "worry about" and you think she might sleep around, then toss her. If she doesnt seem like a person to trust, that means you dont trust her. so she is unworthy of your trust, untrustworthy hehe. if after 7 months you are still worried about that, and shes letting guys lick her fuckin neck, shes usin you for something.

Roz Man.

Sucks to be you, dude.

All, I can say is that If I were you, I would let her go. It's obvious she doesn't like you in the first place, so then just give it up!

quote:

Originally posted by Orbax Wait, you are saying he should trust her if shes in bed with someone? the whole point is that she would never get into bed with someone. or thats at least the way it should be. If you think shes the type of girl to "worry about" and you think she might sleep around, then toss her. If she doesnt seem like a person to trust, that means you dont trust her. so she is unworthy of your trust, untrustworthy hehe. if after 7 months you are still worried about that, and shes letting guys lick her fuckin neck, shes usin you for something.

First off it was a hypothetical question and a very loaded question at that.
I would have answered that with a question of my own, "Would you go to bed with someone else?".
Even if she did, there's no way she could continue without it catching up with her and costing her a relationship.

Question though for you Roz, was she drunk at the time you caught her?

nope

quote:

Originally posted by Fir3start3r Personally, I'd let it slide. Why you ask? Good question young padawon...

i disagree with you firestarter

here's the thing.
it all boils down to respect.
the fact that she let some creep near her, let alone kiss her show her absolute lack of respect for her bf.

with no respect, comes no trust which equates to nothing to look forward to.

Second chances are not given, they're earned.

Pork

Re: nope

quote:

Originally posted by DevanteS i disagree with you firestarter here's the thing. it all boils down to respect. the fact that she let some creep near her, let alone kiss her show her absolute lack of respect for her bf. with no respect, comes no trust which equates to nothing to look forward to. Second chances are not given, they're earned. Pork

That all depends on how you want to come across though...
My suggestion was one of calm-cool-understanding waiting for a final blow.
The other way is to blow up, talk about dissin', and come across as a jerk with a possession problem.

Remember, they just had a fight before they went to the club.
Maybe she thought justified in that moment because of the fight.

It would be shitty to come up the stairs and see that yes. I'm not trying to defend her here.

But some people do stupid things when stressed out (like after a fight) and it's for that reason I would let this one time slide.
I'm not saying build up a list of things she's done as long as your arm.
If she's really that bad, it'll become quite obvious.

Re: Re: nope

quote:

Originally posted by Fir3start3r That all depends on how you want to come across though... My suggestion was one of calm-cool-understanding waiting for a final blow. The other way is to blow up, talk about dissin', and come across as a jerk with a possession problem. Remember, they just had a fight before they went to the club. Maybe she thought justified in that moment because of the fight. It would be shitty to come up the stairs and see that yes. I'm not trying to defend her here. But some people do stupid things when stressed out (like after a fight) and it's for that reason I would let this one time slide. I'm not saying build up a list of things she's done as long as your arm. If she's really that bad, it'll become quite obvious.

fire, you are right

but it's all about principle. just b/c i had a fight with my girl doesn't give me the right to go cheat on her.

rozz's gf broke a principle, so it's really up to him to take her back or not. if he does, then he has to be cautious

if he doesn't then maybe he's better off?

rozz, i think for you right now, you need to be away from her and let the anger out. go kill some squirrels or kick some helpless grannies in the butt. just get out
=) things will make more sense after you have control of your mind

pork

oy!

by the way firestarter!

what the hell are you doin up 5am in the morning?!?!?!?!?!?

*steals huge coffee cup from firestarters desk and refills it with decaff*

Pork!

Re: Re: Re: nope

quote:

Originally posted by DevanteS rozz's gf broke a principle, so it's really up to him to take her back or not. if he does, then he has to be cautious if he doesn't then maybe he's better off? pork

That's the a big question and only one Roz could really answer I guess.
Does he throw away 7 months?
Or does he forgive, become a white knight in shining armour and let her do herself in? lol

I just haven't gone to bed...coffee???? ICK

oh boy, just buy her flowers, tell her it was all your fault, and then take her to bed

quote:

Originally posted by flystyler Remember the key to a relationship is trust, if you dont have that you have nothing

Yep.

first of all, you need to relax....... then I think you should hear what she has to say. I mean, she must have a side in this..... why would anyone be stupid enough to throw a great relationship just like that???
good luck, man!!!! and remember, whatever happens between you 2, it's always for the best.....
I've been with my GF in several ups and downs.... I think that if you think it over, and talk to her, then if you 2 love each other, then you'll definately come back to being a couple.....

thnx for the replies , your right im gonna have to relax but its hard to take ya mind off it , you see my g/f has more boy mates to girl mates, before i met her she use to hang around with like 10 lads, that sounds dodgy, i know if i say to her i dont want you to hang around with em anymore, she is gonna be pissed off, we both have trust and understandings , i belive arguments like these bring each other closer in some way. last night one of her ' so called friends kissed her and he seemed very close to her if you know what i mean , in one way i wished that i was there and keep watching but its hard to hold back.

im quite a protective guy and as soon as i see someone near my g/f i get, suspicious and i guess 'jealous'. I know some lads would not stand for this and go and beat the fuck out of the guy dancing with your g/f. I know one of my friends has been seeing this girl for a year and he wont even let her go out clubbing unless he is there , this seems shitty but i guess he is protective.

I guess im gonna have to get drunk tonight and let my beer decide . !!

OK bud.. this is all you need to know. short and sweet.. fuck em. Dont get me wrong.. i love chicks.. but I will never allow one to affect me negatively. I will never allow one to get me down. Plus.. they hate it when you ignore them.. so just ignore the hell out of them. Its funny how well things can go when you just dont care. Never used to be like that, until the one who got away broke my heart. Well.. she never really went away because she still loves me but thats another story for another time. Keep your head straight.

Hmmm plaptop may actually be onto something there. I was too caring too and had to get my heart ripped out to make me think about the whole thing. if a girls really not into being on the level don't fck around with em. Tell them where they can go and why

OK this is what you do.. get her in the sack.. one last time.. and just as you are about to blow your load.. say "look.. whats that over there". and when she turns her head.. launch right in her ear. get up. walk out. laugh about it for a good month or so. then periodically then on out.

I know I may seem like a jerk but dude.. i just dont give a damn anymore. I didnt choose to be like this. I was once a hopeless romantic. I woke up. Number one thing to remember.. which is the demise of most. 99% of people are out for themselves. If they can take it, they will. Recognize that and stay on top.

Rozzer, if she really likes you , then you shouldn't be so miserable.
No relationship should make you feel that way. Everyone has little arguments here and there, but most dont include, "what if i slept in a bed with someone else". It's like she is trying to make you jealous.
And that's game playing. That isn't fair to you. Sit back, dont make any moves, thats what I think. If she wants this as much as you do, let her come to you. She is sounding like the 'guilty' party here, she should apologize IMO.

From the sound of the scene at the club, it was as if she were happy to get that negative attention by you getting angry and her kissing you shortly after.

Dont let anyone play games with your mind. It's not healthy for you.

Talk to her about it, just don't sound like a pussy when you do it.

whether u break up with her or not
juss take this as a learning experience
i think u should give it more time and see where it goes from here
if she really loves u, she'll come back to u
and if she doesn't, i guess it was never meant to be
my views r somewhat like fierstarter's
perhaps she was drunk, or she did this because of the depression from the fight
i say juss give it some time..

i mean u can have sex all the time
it's all about balance
there's a time for sex, and a time for ex

ummm..i dunno y i said that...
juss ignore it

rozz, your self restraint amazes me. If I saw some guy passionately kissing my girlfriend, Id just walk up to him and sock him in the face. At that point I wouldnt give a shit what she thought because when you are in a relationship certain acts become more meaningful, and they should both realize that by doing that, they are really just callin you out. Im sure some people here wont understand why youd want to do a thing like that, but your probably the same people whod go after someones girlfriend >=( I dont, im high on something right now, and that pissed me off

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