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-- Spiders. Again.
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Posted by SYSTEM-J on Sep-30-2009 00:27:

Spiders. Again.

I was about to go to bed, and got up to brush my teeth when I saw a big fucking spider on the carpet. It ran away at an alarming velocity, and when I motioned to smash its face in with a copy of the Marabou Stork Nightmares it darted away again. It could be amidst the boxes of crap under my desk, it could have gone under the carpet, it could be creeping up behind me now.

In short, it could be fucking anywhere in this room. Now, I know it isn't poisonous, but I really don't want to sleep in a room containing a large, very fast black spider. And so I'm sat upright on the bed with a can of Deet, the aforementioned Stork Nightmares and the sensation of invisible spiders crawling all over me.

What the fuck do I do, COR?


Posted by ziptnf on Sep-30-2009 00:28:

Only one option. Set the house on fire.


Posted by Teezdalien on Sep-30-2009 00:30:

It's just a spider. It's more scared of you than you of it.


Posted by Reza on Sep-30-2009 00:30:

did u know spiders like to go in ur ear when ur asleep?
o and this

http://www.brownreclusespider.org/e...hile-asleep.htm


Posted by Domesticated on Sep-30-2009 00:32:

Have a cup of concrete and harden the fuck up?


Posted by SYSTEM-J on Sep-30-2009 00:33:

I just heard a scratching noise, and turned to see it crawling under my door and out into the landing, three feet away. So it's gone for now. But I don't want it back.


Posted by Vivid Boy on Sep-30-2009 00:33:

How about you fall asleep and let your body try to grow a pair of fuckin balls.

Its a spider for fucks sakes, I'm more scared about zild enlisting and receiving a gun in the military.


Posted by tubularbills on Sep-30-2009 00:34:

dessert?


Posted by ziptnf on Sep-30-2009 00:35:

Sushi battles spiders every Tuesday night for shags and chips.


Posted by Teezdalien on Sep-30-2009 00:36:

I had a friend that puts a huntsmen spider in his mouth and lets it crawl back out for a party trick.


Posted by Domesticated on Sep-30-2009 00:37:

quote:
Originally posted by ziptnf
Sushi battles spiders every Tuesday night for shags and chips.



Posted by Zild on Sep-30-2009 00:38:

quote:
Originally posted by Vivid Boy
How about you fall asleep and let your body try to grow a pair of fuckin balls.

Its a spider for fucks sakes, I'm more scared about zild enlisting and receiving a gun in the military.


I agree with this statement!

And for the record I was way more afraid of you making it into the RMCP and them giving you a firearm.


Posted by Sushipunk on Sep-30-2009 00:45:

quote:
Originally posted by ziptnf
Sushi battles spiders every Tuesday night for shags and chips.


Shags


Posted by SYSTEM-J on Sep-30-2009 00:47:

Unfortunately, I have an irrational phobia of large spiders, and thus statements like "Man the fuck up, yo" don't achieve much.


Posted by Vivid Boy on Sep-30-2009 00:47:

quote:
Originally posted by Zild
I agree with this statement!

And for the record I was way more afraid of you making it into the RMCP and them giving you a firearm.


but Im not crazy. I think what you should be afraid of is not the firearm they would have gave me, I'm not much of a killer, its the authority the job would have gave me.


Posted by ziptnf on Sep-30-2009 00:48:

quote:
Originally posted by SYSTEM-J
Unfortunately, I have an irrational phobia of large spiders, and thus statements like "Man the fuck up, yo" don't achieve much.

Idk why they're giving you shit, if a massive spider was crawling around my house, I wouldn't sit on the couch eating twinkies and ignore it.


Posted by Zild on Sep-30-2009 00:49:

quote:
Originally posted by Vivid Boy
but Im not crazy. I think what you should be afraid of is not the firearm they would have gave me, I'm not much of a killer, its the authority the job would have gave me.


I'm not crazy either. And yes I meant the authority which the firearm symbolizes.


Posted by Spam on Sep-30-2009 01:13:

Re: Spiders. Again.

quote:
Originally posted by SYSTEM-J
I was about to go to bed, and got up to brush my teeth when I saw a big fucking spider on the carpet. It ran away at an alarming velocity...


HAHA!

Pussy.


Posted by RandomGirl on Sep-30-2009 01:17:

Put a towel at the base of your door and ram it in so it can't sneak in later and eat you.

Sweet dreams


Posted by SYSTEM-J on Sep-30-2009 01:18:

What exactly do the people posting "You're a pussy" and variants thereof think they're achieving? I'm quite open about being scared of them, or else I wouldn't have made the thread, and I'm not claiming it's a rational fear. Not being afraid of spiders doesn't mean your dick is any longer.

Anyway, it's been half an hour and I haven't seen it. It's large enough that I can hear its legs scraping when it moves along the wood, so I'll hear it if it comes back under the door.

quote:
Originally posted by Theresa
Put a towel at the base of your door and ram it in so it can't sneak in later and eat you.

Sweet dreams


I had considered that, but I know that even large spiders can get through incredibly small gaps. If it wanted to get back in, it could do.


Posted by ziptnf on Sep-30-2009 01:20:

You should still keep your flamethrower handy.


Posted by Zild on Sep-30-2009 01:20:

Just to prove how much of a pussy you are I would eat the spider, and I have arachnophobia.


Posted by SYSTEM-J on Sep-30-2009 01:22:

quote:
Originally posted by Zild
Just to prove how much of a pussy you are I would eat the spider, and I have arachnophobia.


Impressive. Based on this hollow statement I'm now convinced you would beat me in a fight.


Posted by RandomGirl on Sep-30-2009 01:22:

quote:
Originally posted by SYSTEM-J
What exactly do the people posting "You're a pussy" and variants thereof think they're achieving? I'm quite open about being scared of them, or else I wouldn't have made the thread, and I'm not claiming it's a rational fear. Not being afraid of spiders doesn't mean your dick is any longer.

Anyway, it's been half an hour and I haven't seen it. It's large enough that I can hear its legs scraping when it moves along the wood, so I'll hear it if it comes back under the door.



I had considered that, but I know that even large spiders can get through incredibly small gaps. If it wanted to get back in, it could do.


Soak the towel in deet and other poisonous stuff and open the window?


Posted by Vivid Boy on Sep-30-2009 01:22:

easssy there tony robbins you're going a lil ******** on eveyrone


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