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Spiders. Again.

I was about to go to bed, and got up to brush my teeth when I saw a big fucking spider on the carpet. It ran away at an alarming velocity, and when I motioned to smash its face in with a copy of the Marabou Stork Nightmares it darted away again. It could be amidst the boxes of crap under my desk, it could have gone under the carpet, it could be creeping up behind me now.

In short, it could be fucking anywhere in this room. Now, I know it isn't poisonous, but I really don't want to sleep in a room containing a large, very fast black spider. And so I'm sat upright on the bed with a can of Deet, the aforementioned Stork Nightmares and the sensation of invisible spiders crawling all over me.

What the fuck do I do, COR?

Only one option. Set the house on fire.

It's just a spider. It's more scared of you than you of it.

did u know spiders like to go in ur ear when ur asleep?
o and this

http://www.brownreclusespider.org/e...hile-asleep.htm

Have a cup of concrete and harden the fuck up?

I just heard a scratching noise, and turned to see it crawling under my door and out into the landing, three feet away. So it's gone for now. But I don't want it back.

How about you fall asleep and let your body try to grow a pair of fuckin balls.

Its a spider for fucks sakes, I'm more scared about zild enlisting and receiving a gun in the military.

dessert?

Sushi battles spiders every Tuesday night for shags and chips.

I had a friend that puts a huntsmen spider in his mouth and lets it crawl back out for a party trick.

quote:

Originally posted by ziptnf Sushi battles spiders every Tuesday night for shags and chips.

quote:

Originally posted by Vivid Boy How about you fall asleep and let your body try to grow a pair of fuckin balls. Its a spider for fucks sakes, I'm more scared about zild enlisting and receiving a gun in the military.

I agree with this statement!

And for the record I was way more afraid of you making it into the RMCP and them giving you a firearm.

quote:

Originally posted by ziptnf Sushi battles spiders every Tuesday night for shags and chips.

Shags

Unfortunately, I have an irrational phobia of large spiders, and thus statements like "Man the fuck up, yo" don't achieve much.

quote:

Originally posted by Zild I agree with this statement! And for the record I was way more afraid of you making it into the RMCP and them giving you a firearm.

but Im not crazy. I think what you should be afraid of is not the firearm they would have gave me, I'm not much of a killer, its the authority the job would have gave me.

quote:

Originally posted by SYSTEM-J Unfortunately, I have an irrational phobia of large spiders, and thus statements like "Man the fuck up, yo" don't achieve much.

Idk why they're giving you shit, if a massive spider was crawling around my house, I wouldn't sit on the couch eating twinkies and ignore it.

quote:

Originally posted by Vivid Boy but Im not crazy. I think what you should be afraid of is not the firearm they would have gave me, I'm not much of a killer, its the authority the job would have gave me.

I'm not crazy either. And yes I meant the authority which the firearm symbolizes.

Re: Spiders. Again.

quote:

Originally posted by SYSTEM-J I was about to go to bed, and got up to brush my teeth when I saw a big fucking spider on the carpet. It ran away at an alarming velocity...

HAHA!

Pussy.

Put a towel at the base of your door and ram it in so it can't sneak in later and eat you.

Sweet dreams

What exactly do the people posting "You're a pussy" and variants thereof think they're achieving? I'm quite open about being scared of them, or else I wouldn't have made the thread, and I'm not claiming it's a rational fear. Not being afraid of spiders doesn't mean your dick is any longer.

Anyway, it's been half an hour and I haven't seen it. It's large enough that I can hear its legs scraping when it moves along the wood, so I'll hear it if it comes back under the door.

quote:

Originally posted by Theresa Put a towel at the base of your door and ram it in so it can't sneak in later and eat you. Sweet dreams

I had considered that, but I know that even large spiders can get through incredibly small gaps. If it wanted to get back in, it could do.

You should still keep your flamethrower handy.

Just to prove how much of a pussy you are I would eat the spider, and I have arachnophobia.

quote:

Originally posted by Zild Just to prove how much of a pussy you are I would eat the spider, and I have arachnophobia.

Impressive. Based on this hollow statement I'm now convinced you would beat me in a fight.

quote:

Originally posted by SYSTEM-J What exactly do the people posting "You're a pussy" and variants thereof think they're achieving? I'm quite open about being scared of them, or else I wouldn't have made the thread, and I'm not claiming it's a rational fear. Not being afraid of spiders doesn't mean your dick is any longer. Anyway, it's been half an hour and I haven't seen it. It's large enough that I can hear its legs scraping when it moves along the wood, so I'll hear it if it comes back under the door. I had considered that, but I know that even large spiders can get through incredibly small gaps. If it wanted to get back in, it could do.

Soak the towel in deet and other poisonous stuff and open the window?

easssy there tony robbins you're going a lil ******** on eveyrone

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