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Rape a weapon of war in Congo, activists say

Are journalists taught that, rather than submitting to the whimsical caprices of grammarians, it's important to be clear and (unless inevitable) unambiguous? If they are, we can thank the sane minds that try to make this a better world, and hope they get some more back up, because we need more of them. If not, we can thank the insane minds that write ambiguous news headlines, often with hilarious results.

Visiting CNN today, I stumbled upon a very curious headline: "Rape a weapon of war in Congo, activists say". My first reaction was to flinch back, squint, and think "Jesus Christ, pacifists are raping weapons now!?". Then it dawned on me, and I realised no bazookas had been sodomised. Rather, poor women (and sometimes children) were victims of sexual violence in Africa. Sure, that's still heart-breaking, but "shoot your load" would still mean "fire your ammo" in the war, and no images of hippies getting freaky with rocket launchers would burn your retina.

This is, as you can imagine, not unheard of (funny titles, not perverted hippies). The Associated Press reported last month that "McDonald's fries the holy grail for potato farmers": If you first thought Ronald McDonald incinerated antiquities, this is not your fault. Sometimes it's even harder to understand what kind of message they're trying to convey. Bad mental images are not uncommon if you try to figure out what "crash blossoms" are in a headline that reads "Violinist linked to JAL crash blossoms", and if you're told "French left torn in two in row over EU constitution", it's only natural to think that a violent Europhile tore some poor French nationalist apart in a fight (actually, this on is quite tricky: this is about the French left - as in politics - being defeated two times consecutively).

Can you think of other unintentionally funny headlines? And, by the way, when you read the title, what did you think it meant?

Awesome post.

I read the headline as "rape is a weapon of war in the Congo."

But the headline was clear, Lira. That's how it's supposed to be written.

quote:

Originally posted by Renzo But the headline was clear, Lira. That's how it's supposed to be written.

It wouldn't hurt to add an "is" between "rape" and the following article, for clarity's sake, even if they always drop these so-called useless verbs in headlines

quote:

Originally posted by Lira It wouldn't hurt to add an "is" between "rape" and the following article, for clarity's sake, even if they always drop these so-called useless verbs in headlines

So, it's always been like that, for a good reason. But because you made a mistake reading it and interpreting it (I didn't - and neither did MrJB) you thought you'd cry about it in the COR.

Good luck mustering up support for that one.

I thought the point of Lira's post was mainly humor (which it accomplished, I think), not to whine.

I want to know what this part means "whimsical caprices of grammarians"

quote:

Originally posted by stren I want to know what this part means "whimsical caprices of grammarians"

it means you're stupid, stren. you're stupid.

quote:

Originally posted by tubularbills it means you're stupid, stren. you're stupid.

I knew it !! goddamn Lira !

Hah, when I saw Stren posted in this thread, I thought he was going to say something about my sig

quote:

Originally posted by MrJiveBoJingles I thought the point of Lira's post was mainly humor (which it accomplished, I think), not to whine.

Exactly

Jarv, English is not even my first language! I just read that and had a hilarious mental image I wanted to share (which was the interpretation of a sleep-deprived foreigner that lives thousands of kilometres away from any English speaking countries), and gave a few funny examples that were indeed poorly written (they're known as "Crash Blossoms" in a somewhat informal literature, being a special kind of Garden-Path Sentence)... and, although I was somewhat curious to know if anyone else had the same parsing error, my primary goal here was to just share lulzy thoughts with you guys.

quote:

Originally posted by Jarvmeister Good luck mustering up support for that one.

This would be kind of funny, but I'm not sure most people would get it.

And I think that may be the reason why it is a good idea... hmm...

We need to launch an immediate attack against newspaper writers and editors for corrupting America's children with their atrocious grammar. Too long have these deviant institutions been permitted to work their subterfuge unfettered. It is imperitive that we send a message to them and their ilk that we will not stand idly by while they destroy America's youth.

To begin, I propose that we hunt down and rape every single newspaper editor in the country. Only through rape can we protect our children.

quote:

Originally posted by Arbiter We need to launch an immediate attack against newspaper writers and editors for corrupting America's children with their atrocious grammar. Too long have these deviant institutions been permitted to work their subterfuge unfettered. It is imperitive that we send a message to them and their ilk that we will not stand idly by while they destroy America's youth. To begin, I propose that we hunt down and rape every single newspaper editor in the country. Only through rape can we protect our children.

Aye, I agree! They rape language, we rape th-- wait, who's going to rape the male editors?

Lira, it took me about 20 seconds to finally understand your confusion. The headline makes 100% sense to me

They could have employed a range of punctuation marks to solve the ambiguity.

"Rape: a weapon of war, activists say"
"McDonald's fries, the holy grail for potato farmers"
"French left - torn in two in row over EU constitution"

quote:

Originally posted by Jarvmeister So, it's always been like that, for a good reason. But because you made a mistake reading it and interpreting it (I didn't - and neither did MrJB) you thought you'd cry about it in the COR. Good luck mustering up support for that one.

He's mustered plenty of support. His disciples are many and his power grows daily. Come the revolution, people like you will be first against the wall!

All hail the bright linguistically unambiguous future laid out by the tenets of Marcusism-Liraism!

quote:

Originally posted by astroboy They could have employed a range of punctuation marks to solve the ambiguity. "Rape: a weapon of war, activists say" "McDonald's fries, the holy grail for potato farmers" "French left - torn in two in row over EU constitution"

Good idea... though apparently I was the only one to catch the nonsensical ambiguity of what could be happening in Congo

quote:

Originally posted by astroboy He's mustered plenty of support. His disciples are many and his power grows daily. Come the revolution, people like you will be first against the wall! All hail the bright linguistically unambiguous future laid out by the tenets of Marcusism-Liraism!

Yes, Viva la Revolution!!!



Wrong country, I know, but this video is so bizarre it had to be posted

Fear my rape weapon!

8==========D

quote:

Originally posted by Jarvmeister So, it's always been like that, for a good reason.

What would that good reason be?

quote:

Originally posted by Lira Hah, when I saw Stren posted in this thread, I thought he was going to say something about my sig

Well, me and tub girl DID break up

quote:

Originally posted by MrJiveBoJingles Awesome post. I read the headline as "rape is a weapon of war in the Congo."

I read it as:

'rape a woman of war in the Congo'

quote:

Originally posted by Mr.Mystery What would that good reason be?

To fit more topic into headline space whilst ensuring the font is as large in size as possible. Thought it was pretty obvious myself.

They don't do it for fun, or even for the benefit of COR discussions you know.

wait where is the option for more rape?

rape tunnel

quote:

The artist plans to place himself in a room, the only entrance or exit being a 22 ft long plywood tunnel constructed by Whitehurst himself. Then he says that for the duration of the gallery�s opening (from 7:00 p.m. to midnight) he will rape anyone who travels through the tunnel into that room.

http://www.artlurker.com/2009/09/th...-sheila-zareno/

quote:

Originally posted by Jarvmeister To fit more topic into headline space whilst ensuring the font is as large in size as possible. Thought it was pretty obvious myself. They don't do it for fun, or even for the benefit of COR discussions you know.

Yes, but a lot of the time it renders the entire headline unreadable and confusing (although perhaps not in this particular case).

quote:

Originally posted by Jarvmeister To fit more topic into headline space whilst ensuring the font is as large in size as possible. Thought it was pretty obvious myself. They don't do it for fun, or even for the benefit of COR discussions you know.

Given ambiguity of the kind being discussed is fairly commonplace and can be avoided with the addition of a single punctuation mark, I don't think it's a conscious decision on the part of the authors balancing conservation of space against efficacy of communication. Like most grammatical constructions that lead to ambiguity it's probably something that simply didn't enter the author's mind at the time.

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