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Posted by JimmyPop on Jul-05-2002 06:32:

kissing ass gets your further!!!

Ever wonder about those people who say they are giving more than 100%? We have all been to those meetings where someone wants over 100%. How about achieving 103%? Here's a little math that might prove helpful. What makes life 100% ?

If: A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z is represented as: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26.

Then:

H A R D W O R K = 8 1 18 4 23 15 18 11 = 98%

K N O W L E D G E = 11 14 15 23 12 5 4 7 5 = 96%

But,

A T T I T U D E = 1 20 20 9 20 21 4 5 = 100%

And,

B U L L S H I T = 2 21 12 12 19 8 9 20 = 103%

So, it stands to reason that hard work and knowledge will get you close, attitude will get you there, but bullshit will put you over the top.

And look how far ass kissing will take you.

A S S K I S S I N G = 1 19 19 11 9 19 19 9 14 7 = 118%

Posted by Drifter on Jul-05-2002 09:48:

hehe

Posted by HyPeRSoNiC on Jul-05-2002 12:20:

lol!!!!
didn't realize that...... no wonder I'm not getting any further.....

I'll start kissing ass right now!!!!!

Posted by Andrew K on Jul-05-2002 13:45:

some interesting advice for the future of my career

Posted by Lofu_X on Jul-06-2002 04:30:

S E X U A L F A V O U R S = 19 5 24 21 1 12 6 1 22 15 21 18 19 = 184%

!!! !!!

Posted by sherman on Jul-06-2002 05:18:

haha thats great

Posted by olleman on Jul-06-2002 14:05:

ok... this is smashing...

Posted by Matrix on Jul-07-2002 03:35:

I N T E G R I T Y = 9+14+20+5+7+18+9+20+24 = 126%

P L A G I A R I S M = 16+12+1+7+9+1+18+9+19+13 = 105%

so if you dont want to ass kiss, and you dont have the time for integrity, you can always plagiarize; It takes less work than bullshitting and gives you better results

Posted by Trance Plant on Jul-07-2002 17:30:

Sorry but I had to add this one:

COCKSUCKER = 108%

"If you want to go up in the company, you gotta go down"

LOL

TP

Posted by Hi-Voltage on Jul-07-2002 22:08:

lol!that's funny

Posted by Sadmafioso on Jul-09-2002 01:34:

that rule is soooo true!

Posted by Bear4569 on Jul-10-2002 06:23:

Jimmy, did you come up with that yourself or did you find that somewhere, cause if you did, nice imagination, if not, it's still damn good

Posted by JimmyPop on Jul-10-2002 10:15:

nope

wish i could take credit for this, but that would just be false

think i might have got it from one of the raremusicfinder forums