Phobix - Torn Feedback Appreciated! (Updated Version)

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-- Phobix - Torn Feedback Appreciated! (Updated Version)

Posted by Aurana on Dec-10-2009 01:31:

Phobix - Torn Feedback Appreciated! (Updated Version)

Would love any feedback I can get on what could be fixed or if you just plain like the track! Enjoy everyone!

Download: Phobix - Torn

UPDATED version.

Posted by darthseph on Dec-10-2009 02:26:

The breakdown melody plucks are awesome, but that's all I feel is rocking this track.

The beat is extremely fast for my taste with what's going on around it.

The kick is really muddy/soft. The electro synth is bland and in intrusive, lacking any aid to the mix in my opinion. The bass line is alright, a bit bland as its all based on the electro melody line... I think. It needs to be fleshed out a ton.

The breakbeat bit is cool, and adds a nice touch.

The pads feel too open to me, and don't seem to really mix well to my ears.

Keep working, you've got some great elements but I think you lack a focus in this track. Hence the title right? Use the plucks and the breakbeat drum work, but reconstruct the rest imo.

Posted by Aurana on Dec-10-2009 02:51:

Yeah I have a lot of good feedback about the Pluck arrangement. As far as the kick goes, I just seem to lack a variety of samples. I cant seem to find a nice punchy kick to tinker with.

As far as the electro synth.. which are you referring to? The one in the background that has the higher chord sequence that's noticeable at the beginning of the breakdown? Or the Guitarish type synth that comes in a few frames after the initial breakdown? Honestly this is really the first tune I have really produced... and by produced I mean finished. I don't count the stock pile of trial and error tunes I have made, lol.

Do you not think the electro bass fits with the pluck melody? And do you think that maybe some strings added in with the organ pad I have going may help harmonize the build better?

Sorry for the questions, I just like to get as much info as possible lol.

Thank you for posting! You have definitely given me something to do tomorrow on my day off

Posted by helion on Dec-10-2009 03:12:

I agree with Darth on most points. In particular, I want to echo his point on the breakdown and the plucks you have in there. I think the whole combination at that point is incredible. Keep running with it!

Regarding the issue with the kick - the secret is to layer them. Take two kicks that sound like they may complement each other and try playing them together in a layer. Apply some EQ and bounce the drum tracks, then place it where you want it, apply EQ and reverb and you could end up with something you like.

- Matt

Posted by Aurana on Dec-10-2009 04:04:

Right on... I am happy to hear that. I see what you guys are saying. I am assuming the arrangement is for the most part stable.

So what I have so far is:
1) Get rid of the initial synth.
2) Bring out the Guitar that initially was on
top of the track, but fell beneath it once the track hit the climax.
3) More punchy kick, and I will work on the layering and see what I can come up with.
4) Maybe the electro style bass is too much for this track? Possibly consider other options? And possibly slow it down to compliment the melody?
5) Add some warmth to the pad. Possibly some nice strings to give it more feel and bring it out more.

Posted by darthseph on Dec-11-2009 21:17:

quote:
Originally posted by Aurana
So what I have so far is:
1) Get rid of the initial synth.
2) Bring out the Guitar that initially was on
top of the track, but fell beneath it once the track hit the climax.
3) More punchy kick, and I will work on the layering and see what I can come up with.
4) Maybe the electro style bass is too much for this track? Possibly consider other options? And possibly slow it down to compliment the melody?
5) Add some warmth to the pad. Possibly some nice strings to give it more feel and bring it out more.

There we go. I don't produce yet myself but get asked what I hear in tracks all the time from friends that do produce (friends from all over the world actually lol).

This list hits a lot of the stuff spot on. Especially what I was saying with the bass. It felt really out of place. I'll give it another listen at some point to clarify.

Posted by Aurana on Dec-12-2009 00:02:

I've done a lot of work on it... I will post a new version soon... still some fine tuning to do. I think you will enjoy it when I am done. I kept the electro style bass but slowed it down to fit with the lead. Reason being is that I want it to have a good adrenaline rush club bass, as it also somewhat goes with the title. Torn between emotions, and I want to give the audience a low emotional build and at the end hit them with some high energy dance bass. Not sure if I explained it that well. I also sped up the guitar pluck so that the lead/guitar/bass work better together. Again, will post soon.

Posted by darthseph on Dec-12-2009 00:31:

quote:
Originally posted by Aurana
Torn between emotions, and I want to give the audience a low emotional build and at the end hit them with some high energy dance bass. Not sure if I explained it that well. I also sped up the guitar pluck so that the lead/guitar/bass work better together. Again, will post soon.

I get what you are saying. What I felt left in the old version though was discord. Simply stated, the bass overall felt out of tune with the tempo of the rest of the track. You can make the sound work, like we all mentioned, by slowing the tempo of the bass to be more in tune with the tempo of the track.

Good hunting. I will be waiting to hear a new version.