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-- Tiger Jokes
Tiger Jokes
You know this threads gotta happen!
LOL
Q:Whats the diff between a golf ball and an SUV?
A: Tiger can drive the ball more than 400 yards
Q: Whats the diff between Tiger and Santa?
A: Santa stops at 3 hos
Q: What does Tiger and a seal have in common?
A: They have both been clubbed by a scandinavian
1. Whats a golf ball and an SUV have in common?
Tiger can't drive either one straight.
2. Tiger has decided to change his nick name. He will now be called Cheetah Woods
does it need another thread? the original is full of them
On which side does a tiger have most stripes?
On the outside.
Edit: oh wait...
Q: How awesome is Tiger Woods at life?
A: Really awesome
Mine from the other thread.
I call it "Asshole in 1".
| quote: |
| Originally posted by The Ear Mine from the other thread. I call it "Asshole in 1". |
Teacher: "Whoever answers the questions I ask, first and correctly can
leave early today."
Little Johnny says to himself "Good, I want to get outta here. I'm smart
and will answer the question."
Teacher: "Who said 'Four Score and Seven Years Ago'?"
Before Johnny can open his mouth, Susie says, "Abraham Lincoln."
Teacher: "That's right Susie, you can go home."
Johnny is mad that Susie answered the question first.
Teacher: "Who said 'I Have a Dream'?"
Before Johnny can open his mouth, Mary says, "Martin Luther King."
Teacher: "That's right Mary, you can go."
Johnny is even madder than before.
Teacher: "Who said 'Ask not, what your country can do for you'?"
Before Johnny can open his mouth, Nancy says, "John F. Kennedy."
Teacher: "That's right Nancy, you may also leave."
Johnny is boiling mad that he has not been able to answer to any of the
questions.
When the teacher turns her back Johnny says, "I wish these bitches would
keep their mouths shut!"
The teacher turns around: "NOW WHO SAID THAT!?!?!"
Johnny Yells "TIGER WOODS!!!! CAN I GO NOW!!!?"
Tiger wants his marriage back for Christmas. No joke.
I heard Tiger Woods was looking for a support group.
Unfortunately for him, he couldn�t find one for �Men who cheat on their hot blonde Swedish wives.�
Tiger's Holiday Poem
T'was the night of Thanksgiving and out of the house
Tiger Woods came a-flying, chased by his spouse.
She wielded a 9 iron and wasn't too merry
Cause a bimbo's phone number was in his blackberry.
He had been cheating on poor little Elin
And as each day went by, more whores came out squealing,
He'd been on Rhonda, on Debbie, on Margarite, on Susan, on Dorothy,
On Cheryl, on Denise, � TMZ has the story,
From the top of the world, to above the fold
Tiger's ever more sordid tale, it was told.
With hostesses, waitresses, he had lots of sex
When he wasn't with them, he sent them hot text.
He crashed his caddy, but didn't call On-Star,
Yet he played spank-me-daddy with a skanky old porn star.
He's been naughty, so with Santa he has not a chance,
'cept a big lump of coal like the lump in his pants.
But despite all his crying, begging and pleading,
Tiger's wife purchased a new house in Sweden.
And I heard her exclaim as she packed up the Esclade,
If you are gonna get laid, then I'm gonna get paid.
Now she's not pouting, but full of good cheer,
Cause her pre-nup made Christmas come early this year!
Tiger Woods gets caught again with his mistress and needs your help in escaping an angry golf swing from his wife Elin Nordegren.
http://www.break.com/games/tiger-woods-wife-outrun.html
| quote: |
| Originally posted by Intangible Tiger's Holiday Poem |
| quote: |
| Originally posted by 1dawoman I heard Tiger Woods was looking for a support group. Unfortunately for him, he couldn�t find one for �Men who cheat on their hot blonde Swedish wives.� |
| quote: |
| Originally posted by TrAnCeiN4LiFe seriously he is doing scarlett johansson as well? |
| quote: |
| Originally posted by *~LiSa-LoO~* That's not Scarlett Johanssen |
It is near the Christmas break of the school year. The students have turned
in all their work and there is really nothing more to do. All the children are restless
and the teacher decides to have an early dismissal.
Teacher: "Whoever answers the questions I ask, first and correctly can leave
early today."
Little Johnny says to himself "Good, I want to get outta here. I'm smart and will
answer the question."
Teacher: "Who said 'Four Score and Seven Years Ago'?"
Before Johnny can open his mouth, Susie says, "Abraham Lincoln."
Teacher: "That's right Susie, you can go home."
Johnny is mad that Susie answered the question first.
Teacher: "Who said 'I Have a Dream'?"
Before Johnny can open his mouth, Mary says, "Martin Luther King."
Teacher: "That's right Mary, you can go."
Johnny is even madder than before.
Teacher: "Who said 'Ask not what your country can do for you'?"
Before Johnny can open his mouth, Nancy says, "John F. Kennedy."
Teacher: "That's right Nancy, you may also leave."
Johnny is boiling mad that he has not been able to answer to any of the questions..
When the teacher turns her back Johnny says,
"I wish these bitches would keep
their mouths shut!"
The teacher turns around: "NOW WHO SAID THAT?"
Johnny says: "TIGER WOODS. Can I go now?"
What were Tiger Woods & his wife doing out at 3am?
Clubbing
Confucius says:
He who drives well in "fairway" does not always "fare" well in driveway.
Tigers Attorneys issued the following statement: "Mr. Woods would like to take a mulligan."
Most sports advocates believe Tiger Woods' incident with his wife will actually improve his golf game.
"...Let's face it; when you get hit in the head with a seven iron, you are going to see a lot of birdies....
The newly developed - Tiger Woods video game
http://video1.break.com/dnet/media/...-video-game.swf
**edit, didn't know this was posted in here already**
Even Santa stops after 3ho hos hos
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