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-- Alright, so... I LOL'd.
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Alright, so... I LOL'd.
www.dontevenreply.com
Dude responds to classified ads in a sarcastic manner and hilarity ensues.
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| From Me to **************@***********.org: Hello, I saw your ad looking for a grill in exchange for your landscaping skills. Do you do tree removal? If so, there is a very expensive grill in it for you. Thanks, Mike From josh ******* to Me: yes From me to josh *******: Great! There is a pine tree that has been bothering me and I want it cut down. You won't have to remove it. It hasn't been a problem until about two years ago when it got much taller. My problem with it is that it is obscuring the view to my neighbor's upstairs bathroom window. I used to have a perfect view of the neighbor's wife changing in the bathroom every day. She had great tits and an ass that was out of this world. It really completed my morning whenever I caught a glimpse of her. Now that this damn pine tree is in the way, I can't see a thing. If you could go onto my neighbor's property and cut the tree down while they are at work, I will let you take the grill that is outside on their patio. I'm not sure what brand it is, but it is a gigantic propane grill. It looks really nice. If they ask about it, I will tell them that a huge storm happened while they were at work, and the wind blew the tree over and blew the grill away. Meanwhile you will be enjoying a delicious salisbury steak from your new grill, and I wil be enjoying my neighbor's hot wife as she steps into the shower. They usually leave for work around 7:30 AM during the week, and come back home around 6:00 PM. If you could have it done before they get back on Monday, that would be great. Thanks, Mike From josh ******* to Me: wat the fuck r u smoking dude? so i cut down ur neigbors tree and u let me steal his grille. what a grate deal ass hole. how bout i just take the grille and dont cut down the tree u fuck From me to josh *******: You don't know where his house is, so how are you going to steal the grill? I think my information in exchange for your services is a fair trade. I'll even let you come over for a few beers afterward, and we can watch the wife in the bathroom from my bedroom window. Mike From josh ******* to Me: i dont want a stolen grille i want a real grille u retard wat da fuck is ur problem. and i dont give a shit bout naked neigbor u fuckin perv From me to josh *******: I assure you that this grill is real. By cutting down the tree, you are earning the grill and it will not be stolen. Also, if seeing a naked woman isn't your thing, you could probably catch the husband changing in the bathroom as well. I won't be watching, but I'm not one to judge your lifestyle. Mike From josh ******* to Me: ur the fagot u dick sucking fuck fag cock sucker!! eat a fuckin dick u piece of shitt!!! |
rofl, that was ace 
I love this site...that guy really flew off the handle at the end there.
My favorite line is from the fish one...
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| The fish is a guppy but it lives in a 55 gallon tank, so you probably can't move it. |
My fav. one:
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Escalade Bodyguard Posted at: 2009-06-24 08:14:22 Original ad: 2007 Cadillac Escalade for sale - 38,000 miles. Great condition! Asking $40,000. E-mail if interested. From Mike Partlow to **************@*********.org Hey, I have a proposition for you. I will give you $50 if you let me borrow your Escalade for tomorrow night. I have been trying to get a date with this girl, but the only way I was able to get her to go on a date with me was by telling her that I am a very rich and powerful drug dealer. The problem is, I am not a drug dealer, and I actually drive a 91 Honda Accord. She will know I am lying if I pick her up in that. The only chance I have of getting with this chick is if I roll up in your ballin Escalade. If you let me borrow it, on top of giving you $50, I will put a few gallons of gas in it. I promise we will not have sex on your seats. Please help me out! Mike From James ******* to Me Absolutely not. The car is not for rent! From Mike Partlow to James ******** James, I am willing to pay you up to $60 to borrow your Escalade. If you are worried about me messing it up, you can ride with me. In fact, you can drive it. I'll tell her you are my bodyguard. That would actually work out better, I think. Do you look like a bodyguard? You'd have to wear a suit, and possibly one of those earpieces with the coiled cord running down your neck. You should occasionally touch the earpiece to your ear, like you are listening to some badass security chatter. You shouldn't talk have to talk much, just drive and look badass. Please reconsider my offer. Mike From James ******** to Me No. That is stupid. Maybe you should try asking out a woman that isn't a materialistic gold digger. From Mike Partlow to James ********* Golddigger or not, this girl's rack is phenominal. Tell you what, if you consider my offer and I end up getting laid, I will try to snap a picture of her tits with my cellphone and send it to you. Trust me, they are great. Mike From James ******** to Me Shut up. You aren't borrowing my car. From Mike Partlow to James ********* Well James, you are being a cockblocker. I hope next time you are trying to get your D wet, you get the shit cockblocked out of you. |
He reminds me of that guy who scams the Nigerian scammers.
Haha that site is win, never seen it before.
That site is full of laughs
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| Originally posted by SLR722 My fav. one: |
Camry Killer
lol 
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| Originally posted by Banora He reminds me of that guy who scams the Nigerian scammers. |
that is so awesome!
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| Originally posted by yukii please post!! that is so awesome! |
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| Originally posted by Banora I'm trying to find the one where he convinced the Nigerians he was a very famous movie director and got them to send him nudes of themselves! |
personally, i prefer:
http://www.27bslash6.com/
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| Originally posted by yukii OMG. wow, that reminds me of that vid on youtube where the guy pranks the telemarketer with acting like he's a sheriff at a crime scene and asking if he knew the guy & where he was the night before & the telemarketer breaks down and starts whining how it's just his job to call rofl |
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| Originally posted by kadomony personally, i prefer: http://www.27bslash6.com/ |
oh man i'm reading the top rated.....
It's SO SHINNNNNY!
Yeah, that site is awesome.
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| Originally posted by Spam It's SO SHINNNNNY! |
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| Originally posted by LinX omg is that the car from jurassic park? lmao! |
raptor jesus ate it
I love this guy. And he's local to me in Philly. I once emailed him a tip. A U Penn student was advertising on Craigslist ad for beautiful women to be interviewed for a "psych experiment". Yeah, right.
| quote: |
| Originally posted by yukii OMG. wow, that reminds me of that vid on youtube where the guy pranks the telemarketer with acting like he's a sheriff at a crime scene and asking if he knew the guy & where he was the night before & the telemarketer breaks down and starts whining how it's just his job to call rofl |
The audio is better, I couldn't find it, the guy is Tom Mabe and he has a cd I think of pranking telemarketers who call him. Here is the murder scene one.
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| Tom: Hello? Mike: Yes, can I speak with Tom Mabe? Tom: Who�s calling? Mike: This is Mike (beep). You�ve been selected to receive a complete digital satellite system for free. With this, you�re going to� Tom: Um, let me ask you something. Did you know Tom Mabe? Are you a friend of his? Mike: No, I�m not. I�m just calling to� Tom: Hold that thought� hold on one second, alright? (off phone) Hey guys, get really good pictures of the body. Yeah, dust everything down for prints. (on phone) Are you there? Mike: Yeah. Tom: Let me bring you up to speed. You have actually called a murder scene and Mr Mabe is no longer with us. I�m Officer Clarke. I�m conducting a homicide investigation. I want to ask you a series of questions. Firstly, what was the nature of business you had with Tom Mabe? Mike: I, uh, had no business with him. I�m� I�m sorry to have bothered you� Tom: No, no, no hey hold on look, I want to ask you to stay on the phone. This call has already been traced and we may need to you to come here for further questioning. This � Mike: You see, you don�t understand. I�m just calling � Tom: No, no, look, you don�t understand. Unless you want to be charged with obstruction of justice it�s imperative to keep your ass on the phone, Mike. Mike: Or, how about you just talk to my supervisor then? Tom: No no no no we�ll get to your supervisor in a second. Now, give me your whereabouts. Mike: I�m at work. Tom: You�re at work? Mike: Yes. Tom: You being a smartass? Mike: No, sir. Tom: Let me put it to you this way, Mike. Say I want to mail your ass a letter. What would I have to write on the outside of that envelope to ensure that the mailman will deliver it right to your ass? Geographically speaking, Mike, where is work? Mike: 40 West (beep), Middleton, Colorado. Tom: Hold on, that�s 40 � Mike: Yes sir. Tom: Michael, hold on one sec, alright? Mike: Yes sir. Tom: (off phone) Get the Middleton homicide department on the phone. Yeah, give them this information. Tell them there been a talk in connection with a fatal shooting and aggravated robbery. (on phone) Mike, how did you know Mr. Mabe again? Mike: Wait, you�re calling the Middleton police department? I�m hundreds of miles away! I don�t even know the guy� I�m in Colorado! Tom: No, no, it�s not that scary� that�s just a formality. Tell me, have you been to any place other than work, then? Mike: No! Tom: OK, and tell me again what, where were you last night for twenty hours after eight and ten? Mike: I�m not feeling really comfortable with any of this. Tom: Have you even ever spoken to Mr. Mabe, Mike? Mike: No I haven�t. I don�t even know the guy. That�s what I�ve been trying to tell you! Tom: OK, very good, calm down, calm down, look, I�ve got one more question for you, Mike. As you well know, I�m sure, Mr. Mabe was a flaming homosexual. There�s no easy way of asking this, I don�t want to embarrass you or nothin�, but, were you his gay lover? Mike: What!? No� what kind of a question is that? Tom: Look, look. If gay is your way, that is OK. I still know there are a lot of you gay people in that closet. Not saying I haven�t thought about it myself, you know? Hop over to Las Vegas or something, buy a couple of drinks, cute little Mexican midget. Mike: This is ridiculous. Tom: Hello? |
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