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What's the worst thing you ever did at The Office..

.. and didn't get fired for?

Lied?

hookers and blow?

Eh. Probably just drunk on the job. While driving this kick ass cherry picker thing inside a gym. Was fucking fun.

And I guess killing that guy that one time, but he had it coming, so I'd say the drinking thing.

i took a shit on the floor of the woman's washroom. Not my current job though, i don't have a restraining order there.

Eww lol

I edited one of twenty set menus for a function to say "screaming" pot of mussels rather than "steaming" and placed it on top of the pile. I was going to point it out to my colleague who was taking over the shift but I forgot and got a frantic phone call half an hour later - "WHAT HAVE YOU DONE"

I laughed so hard - but she was furious.

not work at all.

Not quite an office, but...

When I was 19, I worked in terrible, horrible, filthy bar in south London. This place was the pits. The patrons were a selection of the worst people the UK (and possibly the world) had to offer. Gypsies, chavs, and just general scum. They had no respect for the staff, or even the owner/manager. The first night I worked there, some dude glassed the assistant manager. She ended up with 13 stitches on her face. Multiple times a week (and in some instances, multiple times a day) we'd have the cops there because of some guy was beaten, or glassed, or stabbed. Or a combination of all 3.

And I was always slow in getting paid. Always.

The owner/manager was a dirty old Irish cunt that would sit in his office all day, watch porn, and call sex-chat lines. Every time I'd complain about rude pricks at the bar, or people pouring their own drinks, he'd essentially tell me "I don't give a fuck what you do, work it out yourself and don't bother me about it".

Now... a thick Irish accent can be hard to understand if spoken quickly, like he used to talk. It appears I accidentally mistook "I don't give a fuck what you do, work it out yourself and don't bother me about it" as "steal a couple of thousand pounds from me over the course of a few months, and give the scum free drinks in return for drugs".

Anyone could have made that mistake though, right?

quote:

Originally posted by Sushipunk

badass motherfvcker stu!!

thats brilliant stu

quote:

Originally posted by Sushipunk Anyone could have made that mistake though, right?

thanks for reminding me the office , i'ma download

In the office?

It's probably a toss up between heroin, coke, meth, e, and shrooms.

I'm going to go with coke, mainly because of how frequently I used, and how often I did it in front of my boss or coworkers without them knowing. Sometimes even in mid-conversation. Glad those days are behind me

I ditched a business trip in California (Sacramento) a day early for debauchery in Las Vegas. My boss was really pissed, but I distracted him by saying that I had gotten married there. He said congratulations and asked why I hadn't told him I was getting married. Truth was, I didn't know I was getting married. My bf and I eloped for the hell of it.

Both the job & the husband are history. But it makes a great story.

quote:

Originally posted by kadomony co-workers and blow

me too.

Fuckin' Stu!

This is mine:

I totally stole my boss's password and started firing people. Then I got fired. But I got rehired under a new name.

It rocked.

dressed like this..



this



and this



i havnt done anything bad before tho.. im essentially a good boy

quote:

Originally posted by kadomony hookers and blow.

I brought home office supplies like pens, post-it notes, etc, surf the net during company time, made a personal long distant call one time. Pretty bad ass stuff.

This was years ago. When i worked in an office I used to go to other peoples desks when they were on break or lunch & call random phone numbers in Mexico. I would then just quietly say Wazzuuuuuuuuupp in the phone. The phone calls were never more than a minute or two. A few months after, all the people that worked there with mexican heritage got rounded up & questioned by the GM. I heard him in the yelling "im gonna ship all you wetbacks back to mexico in a 2x2 box".
Prolly sounds immature & risky now, but back then i thought it was hillarious.

quote:

Originally posted by Blake In the office? It's probably a toss up between heroin, coke, meth, e, and shrooms. I'm going to go with coke, mainly because of how frequently I used, and how often I did it in front of my boss or coworkers without them knowing. Sometimes even in mid-conversation. Glad those days are behind me

I've done H, and Coke at work.. i cant imagine doing E or shrooms. though i wouldnt be able to function infront of my boss. But yeah ive done those two frequentily while in mid conversation. I used to break up lines on my desk hahaha and cover them with paper work. lmao.. and yeah im glad those days are behind me too.

haha it was just funny to remember those times for a second. wtf was wrong with me lol..

stu, awesome. jay. the image of you in a girls top is alarming but what the fuck were you on in that first one?

quote:

Originally posted by montana stu, awesome. jay. the image of you in a girls top is alarming but what the fuck were you on in that first one?

hahaha! the company i worked for had to make the sash for the 'Miss Mansfield' competition this particular year.... i couldnt resist it

quote:

Originally posted by [N]�k|��[Z] hahaha! the company i worked for had to make the sash for the 'Miss Mansfield' competition this particular year.... i couldnt resist it

Yeah, but the women in mansfield are right munters so bet you won it!

Worst thing? Doesn't compare to H&B but still get a tinge of guilt every now and then.

I threw a grape at at this guy john I worked with on the other side of the office (we used to fuck about a bit at work).

The moment that grape left my hand, the managing director of the company walked through the door - the grape smacked off Johns forehead and right in to the face of the MD.

I looked up "all surprised from my paperwork" and the MD frogmarched John out the building, and out of a job for chucking a grape at him.

Anyway, worked out alright for him as he got 6 months pay in a lump sum so the MD could avoid unfair dismissal tribuneral.

Promotion to johns job was nice for me though

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