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What is the allure of an ex?

My best friend went through a terrible breakup and after many months met someone new who is great. Good looking, younger, funny, and smart (an engineer). But then he slept with his ex and is hooked all over again. I don't understand this behavior at all. I know this story is an old one, but could someone explain to me a jerk of an ex > someone new?

I'm so mad at my friend right now. He was free and clear and now he's sucked back in.

Why do his actions effect your happiness?

Pussy made of magic.

The Force of Habit.

Rosy retrospection, physical attraction, and so on.

By the way, you have no right to be angry about your friend. You know that, right? Just checking.

quote:

Originally posted by igottaknow Why do his actions effect your happiness?

Maybe because he is his best friend?

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Originally posted by Lira By the way, you have no right to be angry about your friend. You know that, right? Just checking.

Unless the OP is the new girl

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Originally posted by Magadansky Maybe because he is his best friend?

How would it make you feel if your best friend was angry at you for your choices in women? "You should go out with this girl who I deem better for you. If you don't do what I wish I will be angry with you."

You understand now?

quote:

Originally posted by igottaknow How would it make you feel if your best friend was angry at you for your choices in women? "You should go out with this girl who I deem better for you. If you don't do what I wish I will be angry with you." You understand now?

I think you don't understand. First, probably the reason why the OP doesn't want his friend back to his ex is because they had a very stressful relationship and problems which affected him. Second, the OP wishes the best for his friend (presuming that he is his best friend) so he can be appointed as the voice of reason in that situation. Lira pointed it out, probably his friend forgot some of the stress he endured during the relationship and now he just wants her back for the good sex or whatever the case may be. Getting angry about it is probably pushing it though. OP should just talk out his friend.

quote:

Originally posted by Magadansky I think you don't understand. First, probably the reason why the OP doesn't want his friend back to his ex is because they had a very stressful relationship and problems which affected him. Second, the OP wishes the best for his friend (presuming that he is his best friend) so he can be appointed as the voice of reason in that situation. Lira pointed it out, probably his friend forgot some of the stress he endured during the relationship and now he just wants her back for the good sex or whatever the case may be. Getting angry about it is probably pushing it though. OP should just talk out his friend.

Let me clarify. I'm not making a judgment on which girl is better for his friend, and I'm sure he means well. But you can not tell someone what they should do. Everyone is free to make their own choices and live with the consequences. Their choices shouldn't make you angry. Why do people concern themselves with what other people do?

Let me give you another scenario. We walk into a restaurant and I tell you I read an article about all the wonderful health benefits of eating salad. After which I order a salad and you get a double cheeseburger with bacon. Now I'm furious with you. Why didn't you order the salad? Didn't you hear what I told you? Clearly the salad is better for you...

simple answer

the dude never got over her

the magic pussy comment is probably the most legit. i used to date this girl, and her pussy was fucking extreme. somehow she made it like a vacuum inside or something... completely enveloped my dick and literally sucked the cum out of my penis inside of it. fucking magic if i've ever seen a trick.

she was terrible. dumb, awful personality, lied all the time. but that one thing made me stick around for almost 5 months. where with any other girl i'd be gone in a week.

I appreciate the responses. I know I'm being a protective girlfriend, but I can't help it. I love my friend. And I spent 5 months of him talking about the pain of the breakup. Right when he was healing, his ex boyfriend breezes back in town and chases after him. Oh, did I mention that my friend is gay? Anyway, it doesn't matter...

I think his ex is evil because he saw that my friend was happy and dating someone new and chased after him. And his ex is leaving town to go overseas in August. So basically, the ex is going fuck around with my friend for a few months and then good bye. I met the new boyfriend and he was pretty amazing, not the tormented closet case the ex is.

Do we have a self destructive gene that makes us go back to people who have hurt us time and time again?

Why do exes have more pull than the world of new experiences that are out there?

because humans are stupid

Ah, well I guess the magic pussy explanation is out. Magic colon perhaps?

quote:

Originally posted by sweetcaroline Do we have a self destructive gene that makes us go back to people who have hurt us time and time again?

Some people do. They tend to get what they deserve.

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Originally posted by enydo Ah, well I guess the magic pussy explanation is out. Magic colon perhaps?

or a magic mouth

quote:

Originally posted by igottaknow Let me clarify. I'm not making a judgment on which girl is better for his friend, and I'm sure he means well. But you can not tell someone what they should do. Everyone is free to make their own choices and live with the consequences. Their choices shouldn't make you angry. Why do people concern themselves with what other people do? Let me give you another scenario. We walk into a restaurant and I tell you I read an article about all the wonderful health benefits of eating salad. After which I order a salad and you get a double cheeseburger with bacon. Now I'm furious with you. Why didn't you order the salad? Didn't you hear what I told you? Clearly the salad is better for you...

Not the same thing. A few people on here already said that people are self-destructive and stupid in some of those situations and they need to be warned and protected. You shouldn't getting angry out of it but you need to protect your friends from them making mistakes. And yes OP is concerned since they are best friends. You know, actually caring for each other...

so the he (op) is a she and the she (ex) is a he.

Pretty simple really. People like what's familiar/comfortable to them.

quote:

Originally posted by Magadansky Not the same thing.

Ok. We a walk into a restaurant and we are best friends...
Now that changes everything right?

quote:

A few people on here already said that people are self-destructive and stupid in some of those situations and they need to be warned and protected. You shouldn't getting angry out of it but you need to protect your friends from them making mistakes. And yes OP is concerned since they are best friends. You know, actually caring for each other...

You are free to tell someone what you think. What's unreasonable is expecting them to do what you want and getting angry when they don't. She views his ex as a problem, her friend doesn't share her view otherwise he wouldn't be with his ex. No one can be saved from themselves. That's why an alcoholic can not be told to stop drinking, he has to want to.

i dont think she's getting angry at him..she just said the phrase in a different context.

quote:

Originally posted by igottaknow Ok. We a walk into a restaurant and we are best friends... Now that changes everything right? You are free to tell someone what you think. What's unreasonable is expecting them to do what you want and getting angry when they don't. She views his ex as a problem, her friend doesn't share her view otherwise he wouldn't be with his ex. No one can be saved from themselves. That's why an alcoholic can not be told to stop drinking, he has to want to.

Lol. Do you know what friendship is? What do you think a friend must do, drinking with you all night and not giving you advices about your life, advices that can help you? Do you have friends actually for whom you care about or you truly believe this is the universal case (your quoted phrases above)?

I was gonna write 'easy buttsecks' to be funny, then I read the part about your friend being gay, so I guess its true! lol

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