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stuff you've stolen / obtained while intoxicated

small, very unnecessary objects tend to fall into my possession when i'm practising the arts of drinking alcoholic beverages.

a week ago i brought home a packet of napkins and a pirate hat. before that, i've woken up with the french flag wrapped around my feet. a bottle of dishwashing fluid was stolen from a nightclub two months ago, and when i studied in another town, i took part in the theft of an orientational emergency exit sign.

we also made an attempt to steal a framed kids karate club picture from an awful kebab place.

i once took someones left shoe, and managed to walk home with two left shoes.

enough about me. what about you?

As a student I stole a six foot pub table. That's definitely my finest hour. I wasn't drunk though - it took some serious planning to go out in the night and haul this thing back to our flat while avoiding CCTV.

While in uni...rim caps. I dont know why, when I was proper fucked, I thought rim caps were such a neccesity.

More booze.

When I drank and I was at a party, the next day, I'd have 10 lighters in my pocket.

quote:

Originally posted by EddieZilker When I drank and I was at a party, the next day, I'd have 10 lighters in my pocket.

that reminds me.. i woke up with a lighter in my pocket that had the text "i love dogs" written on it. so strange

I stole my very own youth.

I was more a vandal than a thief. Did heaps of shameful things while on the piss. NYE 1999 me and my best mate were determined to be the millennium bugs. Fucking stupid.

i'd like some insight into how we find things in random places when intoxicated.

for example, we're walking along and my friend goes OH SHIT and pulls a fuckin bottle of vodka out of a bush on the side of the road.

i think the most valuable thing i found when i was drunk was a pair of solid gold wedding bands sitting on a ledge outside.

26'er of JD from trashy obese girl's back yard on the walk back to campus from mardi gras... then my friend accidentally shattered it while in line in a tim hortons, it slipped out of his hands as he praised it like a new item in zelda.

lots of lighters, unknowingly

quote:

Originally posted by SYSTEM-J As a student I stole a six foot pub table. That's definitely my finest hour. I wasn't drunk though - it took some serious planning to go out in the night and haul this thing back to our flat while avoiding CCTV.

legendary. this deserves gold status

quote:

Originally posted by SYSTEM-J As a student I stole a six foot pub table. That's definitely my finest hour. I wasn't drunk though - it took some serious planning to go out in the night and haul this thing back to our flat while avoiding CCTV.

Champion


When I was in Uni and/or travelling, we got lots of traffic cones, and the yellow flashing lights that the council leaves around if there is a construction or something happening. We had a few street signs (Beer Street and High Street) and once my hammered friend and I went on a drunken mission all around our neighborhood and pinched a whole stack of potted plants from peoples front yards to decorate our new place with. I actually still have a couple of those plants, still in the same pots we grabbed them in, over 10 years ago

And of course, hundreds of lighters.

City maps from the back of a taxi cab, last Christmas

I have total OCD when it comes to forgetting things and this intensifies when I'm drunk. So as the cab driver pulled down my street I started grabbing all my shit and stuffing it into my purse and telling my boyfriend to do the same.

The next morning my boyfriend found two folded maps of Halton and Niagara region in his suit jacket, while I had obtained a comprehensive grid of downtown Toronto and stuffed it into my purse.

The cabbie called three days later looking for his maps

when i was 16 i stole a pretty fantastic lawn gnome from an old lady's garden.. that was 12 yrs ago and now it's in my garden.

Virginities.

I had a propensity for urinating on expensive cars or simply just cars I wanted. No idea why.

I've never actually had a streak of klepto while drunk, but I have been chased by coyotes.

Oh...stolen/obtained. Shit.

quote:

Originally posted by Halcyon+On+On I've never actually had a streak of klepto while drunk, but I have been chased by coyotes.

That's funny. I've had to chase away a couple coyotes.

In high school there was a period of time where i would steal the emblems off of cars, mainly those colourful custom honda emblems ricers would put on their car. But i had everything from honda to acura to mercedes benz to volkswagen. I got up to about 30 or so. Then it got boring.

In college, I stole almost all my textbooks for my courses. Then i started stealing multiple copies and re-sold them to classmates for half price. $100 textbook for 50 bucks. profit! Made alot of money during college doin that i tell ya hwhat.

None of this was done drunk. I'm pro theif.

But that's not the topic at hand.

Lotsssss of these banging things.

I stole a chair from a Subway restaurant late one night with some friends. We loaded it into the trunk of the cab we took home and then forgot to take it out.

Broke into a beach house once. It was pretty sparse until we got to the main living room that had a huge bar. We barely made it to the other side to grab the booze when the fucking phone rang (at 3:30 in the morining). Shook us. We ran like hell back out the same window we came in from. But not before one of us grabbed a pile of life jackets as a memoir.

That was 11 years ago. Each one of us still has a different colored SeaDoo life vest lying in some closet.

quote:

Originally posted by Halcyon+On+On But that's not the topic at hand.

You're not the topic at hand.

Why ya gotta tell it like it is.

quote:

Originally posted by bARTovsky Broke into a beach house once. It was pretty sparse until we got to the main living room that had a huge bar. We barely made it to the other side to grab the booze when the fucking phone rang (at 3:30 in the morining). Shook us. We ran like hell back out the same window we came in from. But not before one of us grabbed a pile of life jackets as a memoir. That was 11 years ago. Each one of us still has a different colored SeaDoo life vest lying in some closet.

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