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A question to female TA's: Should a guy just shut up and kiss?

I was going to post a thread about the words "I love you" but I got caught up with something else prior to that, regarding some of the stuff I'm always babbling about anyway. The thing is, thinking about language often leads you to very bizarre problems.

One thing I believe, as a result of my experiences, is that unless you're already involved in a romantic relationship with a girl, opening up and being clear about your feelings is a no-no. I tell my fiancée I love her, and that's all right. Telling a girl I've just met that I find her attractive and I'd like to kiss her is awkward enough. Telling a casual friend I want to kiss her and have a relationship with her, before we've even exchanged any saliva, seems to reek of desperation. Last year, actually, a friend was telling me how she'd immediately be turned down buy a guy that confessed his feelings to her before grabbing her by her arm and kissing her (the whole "shut up and kiss" mentality). And, as a matter of fact, she had just turned down her most recent crush because - surprise! - he told her she liked her.

So, my question is: is it really sexier for a girl if a guy just shuts up and kisses, rather than telling her about his feelings? If so, why? I do have my suspicions but I want to hear your side of the story (if there is any sort of agreement among you females, that is).

Depends on way too many factors.

1. The people concerned
2. Their personalities
3. The people's history with similar 'events'
4. Context
5. CONTEXT



Edit: Oh, this was a question for the girls.

Hahahah. I need to read before posting

quote:

Originally posted by Sushipunk Depends on way too many factors.

I know but, all things being equal, I want to know what they prefer because I've got a hypothesis in my head and, until someone proves me wrong, I'm not a girl

But, you're a specialist on birds, you might know what they've got to say

No, he's supposed to cite a Lord Byron poem.

You'd rather cite an Englishman than someone born in Frankfurt such as Goethe?!

Shame on you, Meat, I bet you'd say something written by Schiller if he wasn't born in the wrong Southern state

quote:

Originally posted by Lira But, you're a specialist on birds, you might know what they've got to say

Well, they say a lot! Human gals, I mean

The ladies are, apparently, our superiors (psychologically speaking) in verbal communication.

quote:

Originally posted by Lira You'd rather cite an Englishman than someone born in Frankfurt such as Goethe?!

So he can mispronounce the name and look like an even bigger douche bag?

If you do kiss her first and then proceed to just dribble endless amounts of waffle in her ear, then she will just be as fed up/bored senseless by the time your done waxing lyrical rubbish as if you did it the other way around... but at least you got a kiss in!

quote:

Originally posted by Sushipunk The ladies are, apparently, our superiors (psychologically speaking) in verbal communication.

Yeah, there's some data regarding females and communication (though there are probably ever more myths than hard facts), but I suspect something much more subtle is at stake here.

The reason why I asked this question (I think it's safe to voice my opinion down here) is because of a silly thought experiment: If you could ask God anything, what would you ask? My first reply to this question is "Well, isn't He omniscient! Why the hell would I need to speak to him if he already know the content of my mind".

This is all fun and games but, if you're in real life, writhing in pain and someone asks you "Are you all right?" you're almost entitled to be sarcastic because - well - isn't it obvious? Usually, we only talk to other people because we think the listener doesn't know what it is that we want to tell them: I wouldn't be typing this post if I imagined you knew exactly what I'm thinking. Why would I bother?

And this led me to this problem: I don't think I've ever met a girl that likes people who lack confidence. If you're going to kiss someone, you probably imagine that your advances will be welcome. This is to infer that the girl likes you, so you know what she's thinking before she said you anything and you're confident you got it right, so why bother? However, if you do ask and feel the need to either ask or convince her that you're the right person with a dull monologue that only works in fiction, it comes to show you want to either have an information that you couldn't "catch" non-verbally or not take the time to see what she's thinking and just think it's up to you to do the job until she clearly states that you won the round.

However, I always prefer to double check... so I posted this thread.

quote:

Originally posted by couch-potato So he can mispronounce the name and look like an even bigger douche bag?

There's no way in hell Meat would ever mispronounce a name in his own language

quote:

Originally posted by Lilith If you do kiss her first and then proceed to just dribble endless amounts of waffle in her ear, then she will just be as fed up/bored senseless by the time your done waxing lyrical rubbish as if you did it the other way around... but at least you got a kiss in!

Hah, quite what I thought....

quote:

Originally posted by Lira There's no way in hell Meat would ever mispronounce a name in his own language

quote:

Originally posted by Lira You'd rather cite an Englishman than someone born in Frankfurt such as Goethe?! Shame on you, Meat, I bet you'd say something written by Schiller if he wasn't born in the wrong Southern state

For some strange reason the first names to pop up in my head when thinking about cheesy romantic poems are Byron and Yeats. Of course Schiller is a more obvious choice, since the (German) girl I'm supposedly about to kiss might actually have heard of him and not annoy me by asking "Who?", but I associate him more with his plays than with his poetry.


Also, have you ever seen a movie hero not say something clever before he kisses the girl in the final scene? Have you? See, there's your answer!

Yes, it's definitely much sexier to just kiss. Don't convolute a potentially hot hot hot situation with words, shit.

In fact I was just saying the other day that I wish I was still a horny 17 year old, to be taken on the bed a la Shia LaBoeuf in Disturbia. Goddamn that shit is hot.


Since we exist, why not just kiss..

"I have feelings for you, and I think I would be interested in having a relationship with you." < "Nice shoes, wanna fuck?"

You guys are such fags. Do you need to be in a relationship with someone to kiss them??

If the woman is intuitive enough, the guy can just do subtle things to show her he likes her without flat out having to say it. That can lead up to the point where he attempts to kiss her. Just go for it!

quote:

Originally posted by jennypie You guys are such fags. Do you need to be in a relationship with someone to kiss them??

No... perhaps you missed the direction of my greater-than/less-than sign

quote:

Originally posted by david.michael No... perhaps you missed the direction of my greater-than/less-than sign

Ahh nope, I misinterpreted it. See? Just kiss.

But what if someone sucks at non-verbal communication?

quote:

Originally posted by jennypie Ahh nope, I misinterpreted it. See? Just kiss.

:: punches Jenny in the gut, kisses, farts ::

quote:

Originally posted by Meat187 But what if someone sucks at non-verbal communication?

Then they suck at kissing anyway; write them off.

quote:

Originally posted by Meat187 But what if someone sucks at non-verbal communication?

Ew bad kissers ftl. I really liked this guy once a long time ago and he really liked me. Unfortunately I had a bf so we were reduced to stealing glances and sitting really close to each other on the couch. Well one day he just did it, just kissed me and it was THE WORST FUCKING THING EVER. God. Mouth all over mine, lapping at my face like a dog. Fuck. I was so repulsed. Amazing how a convincing attraction can reverse so quickly, lol.

quote:

Originally posted by jennypie Ew bad kissers ftl. I really liked this guy once a long time ago and he really liked me. Unfortunately I had a bf so we were reduced to stealing glances and sitting really close to each other on the couch. Well one day he just did it, just kissed me and it was THE WORST FUCKING THING EVER. God. Mouth all over mine, lapping at my face like a dog. Fuck. I was so repulsed. Amazing how a convincing attraction can reverse so quickly, lol.

Did he rape your face Charlotte?

quote:

Originally posted by jennypie Yes, it's definitely much sexier to just kiss. Don't convolute a potentially hot hot hot situation with words, shit. In fact I was just saying the other day that I wish I was still a horny 17 year old, to be taken on the bed a la Shia LaBoeuf in Disturbia. Goddamn that shit is hot. Since we exist, why not just kiss..

i LOVE that track. andre lodemann remix is the best of the two remixes, imo. pitched down to about 118bpm though.

The last ex, I believe I went in for the kiss or maybe it was both of us. I knew she liked me as we had been seeing eachother and spending some time together. I usually make sure that the girl likes me before making that move so as to not look like a dummy going in for the kill and getting shot down. 100% success rate so far hehe.

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