The Unabridged Co-Worker Translation Guide

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-- The Unabridged Co-Worker Translation Guide

Posted by WittyHandle on Aug-09-2010 00:47:

The Unabridged Co-Worker Translation Guide

Sometimes the things co-workers say are not the things they mean, and since I am the first person in history to ever notice this, here are some random entries from the Unabridged Co-Worker Translation Guide.

Entry #249: �I can�t figure out how to work my phone� = �I have not made any attempt to figure out how to work my phone�

Entry #106: �I need help with this� = �Do this for me�

Entry #387: �Hey, quick question�� = �Hey, several dozen lengthy questions��

Entry #426: �We need to give Cathy a call� = �You need to give Cathy a call�

Entry #325: �Are you going out for lunch today?� = �Get me lunch�

Entry #622: �I think we�re out of pens� = �I do not see a pen within a three foot radius of where I�m sitting�

Entry #88: �Did Todd get a new computer?� = �Why haven�t I also gotten a new computer?�

Entry #139: �Thanks for showing me how to do something in Microsoft Excel� = �You are now the company�s expert in Microsoft Excel�

Entry #320: �I�m expecting a fax� = �I�m expecting you to hover over the fax machine for the next seven hours�

Entry #212: �I don�t like the look of that applicant� = �That applicant is black�

Entry #381: �I copied you on an e-mail a while back�� = �By copying you on an e-mail, I actually expected you to completely handle it despite the e-mail being primarily addressed to someone other than you�

Entry #414: �How�s everything going with you? = �I am about to ignore whatever you say and then tell you how everything is going with me, which is terribly, and which will take an hour�

Entry #198: �The copier is broken� = �The copier is out of paper�

Entry #198A: �The copier is broken� = �The copier hasn�t telepathically divined what I want it to do�

Entry #198B: �The copier is broken� = �The copier is broken, and since you are standing there I�ll just assume you�re the copier repairman�

Entry #198C: �The copier is broken� = �I broke the copier�

http://www.notmydesk.com/2010/06/23...nslation-guide/

Posted by Sushipunk on Aug-09-2010 00:50:

Nice.

Posted by igottaknow on Aug-09-2010 01:30:

Posted by butterfly on Aug-09-2010 02:41:

Re: The Unabridged Co-Worker Translation Guide

quote:
[i][b]
Entry #325: �Are you going out for lunch today?� = �Get me lunch�

i disagree with this one. i think it usually means someone is inviting themselves to lunch with you.

Posted by Lews on Aug-09-2010 03:09:

Good stuff.

Posted by ziptnf on Aug-09-2010 03:12:

Re: The Unabridged Co-Worker Translation Guide

quote:
Originally posted by WittyHandle
Entry #387: �Hey, quick question�� = �Hey, several dozen lengthy questions��

This is me